


Can't Pretend

by ultrona



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age of Ultron never happened to me, Canon Divergence, Clint is also a good bro, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Natasha Feels, Slow Burn, Steve Feels, but can't fucking see that they're made for each other, nat and steve are cute, romanogers - Freeform, sam is a good bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 15:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 47,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3983626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultrona/pseuds/ultrona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Nat start their history during "Captain America: The Winter Soldier".</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>yep, I ignored a lot of things that happened after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stop Lying

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this a few months ago, but didn't continue because I got really busy with school and everything, but here I am. So, this is actually my first story so don't find it strange if sometimes I don't know what I'm doing lmao  
> I changed some parts and added things to the first chapter :) and also I'm sorry for the mistakes that it might -probably- happen, english isn't my native language :)  
> hope you enjoy!

Steve Rogers was so pissed. _So pissed_.

He walked through the halls of S.H.I.E.L.D. with a nervous redhead on his feet.

She hated that look on him. That look that make you feel so guilty that she would’ve preferred that he’d scream at her, insult her or whatever. Just not this.

“ _God, Natasha_. Stop following me.” He said, with a subtle tone of anger.

“I won’t until you stop ignoring me. I had orders, Rogers. You follow yours, I do mine.” She stood by his side, trying to keep his speed.

“No. You lied. _Like you always do._ ”

“That’s not true.” She tried to hide how offended she felt. Well, he wasn’t completely lying, after all. Natasha really was a liar. A good one. She was raised like that. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t show yourself to them. Hide. Hide everything you can. They took every chance she ever had of changing that. It’s not like she had an opportunity.

“You compromised the whole operation.” He said, turning to her. That all-american face he had, always so tough  and sincere at the same time.

“You already said that. And I think you’re overreacting.” She stood in front of him, trying to not feel ashamed by that look of disappointment. Ugh, she hated that.

“The hostages could’ve died. We could’ve get hurt when Bartroc threw that grenade. By the way, you know he escaped, right?” sarcasm took place there, and Natasha couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised by that. Steve never really was the sarcastic type.

“Oh and that’s on me?”

“Like you said, it is. Now, if you excuse me, Agent Romanoff.” He turned, passing through some STRIKE agents, strong walk.

Natasha did nothing but stare, letting out so much air that she didn’t even know she was holding for so long.

 

 

 

And then _it_ happened. Fury was attacked. Steve told her about the metal arm. Ballistic? Soviet made. _Winter Soldier_ , was all that she could think about while looking at Fury. Nick Fury, the man that gave her a chance, only a chance to be trusted, was now dead. Gone.

Looking at his inert body she stayed several minutes, with Steve right behind her, so as Maria Hill. Steve could see tears down in Natasha’s face. He thought about how that was something rare, he had never seen her cry, especially because she wouldn’t let him. She was built with no emotions. Raised to not show them, she would say.

Maria told them she had to take him, that they were waiting. Natasha agreed and left the room, followed by a worried soldier. Why was Fury in his apartment? She didn’t know.

“Why was Fury in you apartment?” She turned to him, brows frowned in confusion.

He made that face he used to wear when found out something about this new century. Put his hands in his pockets, trying to look natural, maybe? He didn’t.

“I don’t know.”

Rumlow called him in the background He turned to them and said something. She didn’t care. He was lying too. But, despite of Natasha’s ability, he wasn’t a good liar.

“You’re a terrible liar.” She somehow tried to put on that face he used on her a week ago, which actually turned out to work. He felt kinda guilty after she left. He hated to lie. And even that Natasha did it to him a few times, he hated to lie to her. He hated the fact that Fury told him not to trust anyone. Not even _her_.

He hided the pen-drive in the candy machine and left.

 

 

 

 

Steve was now being chased by S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury told him not to trust anyone, and that was a man’s last words. He wouldn’t break that. He was alone now. No allies, nothing he could do about it, at least figure out what Fury meant with that pen drive. He couldn’t go to Sam as well, and put his life at risk. He didn’t know where Natasha was too, maybe now ordered to chase Steve. She was the perfect spy and agent, she would find him sooner or later.

And then she showed up in the reflection of the machine, where he couldn’t find the data anymore. With that ironic face, with some gum in her mouth. God, she had the power of making him pissed.

“Where is it?” He asked, some dangerous tone in his voice. He didn’t scared her, despite Natasha’s surprise after he practically threw her at the wall of the waiting room. She tried to control the situation, but it wasn’t like Steve didn’t know anything like before.

So she told him. Everything. The Winter Soldier, great armor of Russia. Responsible for over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years. Everyone says he’s a ghost. She has this feeling that she knew him before. _Way before_. But she wasn’t telling Steve that.

“Five years ago, I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot out my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff. I pulled us out. But the Winter Solider was there. I was covering my engineer so he shot him.” She stoped for a moment, looking deep into Steve’s blue eyes. He was quiet now, hands still pausing in her shoulders. “straight through me.” She lift her top a bit, showing him her scar. “ _Bye-bye, bikinis_.”

“Yeah, I bet you look _terrible_ in them now.” He said with a grin, earning a lift brow from her. Natasha bet he was thinking about her in bikinis in that moment. Steve blushed, pupils now darker and bigger.

Steve shook his head a bit, chuckling. He took a step behind as Natasha handed him the pen drive. “Let’s find this ghost, then.”

 

 

Steve eventually decided to give her a chance again. He worked well with her, back in New York and also in a few missions after that. He was already used to have her around in missions, she always had good tatics and Steve was happy to add to his own plans.  

Steve didn’t really know why Fury resigned Natasha as his partner, or if she agreed with that either. But he really liked her, he really did. She was really fun to be around, she showed some things from this century and had a great smile and laugh. He didn’t see it much actually, but he sure saw it more than the other agents, and he was glad.

“Okay, we need to go undercover.” She said, going through some clothes. She threw some hoodies to Steve, who was clearly not pleased. “What? It’s cute.”

“I look like an idiot. Do I really need these glasses?”

Natasha closed her eyes right after rolling them. “ _It’s hipster._ Please, Rogers, stop being so old.”

“I’m not old.”

“Yes you are.” She said with a grin.

“No, I’m not.”

“Shut up. Here, go try those.” She handed him some jeans and put a hat on his head.

“I don’t know why I still accept working with you.” He murmured as he rubbed his chin, moving towards the fitting room.

“Because I’m the best.” She said with a louder tone, making sure he was hearing. Of course he did, as soon as she heard him chuckle.

 

They headed to the mall, looking as stupid as Natasha wanted them to be.

“First rule of going on the run is: "Don't run. Walk.” She said, putting her arm in his chest as they walked. Nothing more suspicious than a hipster guy with a hat and stupid shoes walking way too fast in the middle of the mall.

“If I run in these shoes, they’ll fall off.”

“ _Funny._ ”

“Okay. Where to?” he stopped for a minute, still looking around him, not really a soft move.

“Hey. Hey!” she attracted his gaze bringing her hand to his chin. “Look at me, ok. Act normal. Take that as a mission.”

He got a little distracted by her green eyes. Steve shaked his head a little, earning a grin from her. “Sorry. I’m not-“

“Shh. It’s ok. Now let’s go, there’s an Apple Store somewhere near here.” She took his hand, and Steve took a few seconds to process it.

Arriving the store, they moved to the nearest unoccupied computer they found. Natasha place the drive and started making those things Steve didn’t have any idea.

“This drive is protected by some sort of A.I. and it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands.” She was co concentrated that Steve could notice how her lips curved in a thin line, something he learned after they started working together that she did when she was nervous or under pressure. Steve sort of felt privileged to be one of the few who could notice that.

“I don’t really know what you’re saying, but… Can you override it?” Steve was pretty sure she could. That girl could control him through a computer if she wanted.

“The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me.” She said, her brow frowned.

“ _Slightly._ ” They said together. Natasha grinned to him.

“I’m gonna try running a tracer. Well, this is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware , so… If we can read the file, maybe we can find where it came from.” She said, more like she was trying to make him understand something. He wasn’t.

“Still don’t know what you’re saying, but go on.” He tipped her shoulder gently as an encouragement.

“Can I help you guys with anything?” a guy with a really long blonde hair stopped by their side.

Steve looked at Natasha and froze. She looked at him. “Act normal.” She whispered.

“Mmh, eh, no, my fiancé…” she grabbed Steve’s shoulder and brought him in front of her, squeezing a little. “…here was helping me with some honeymoon destinations.” She said with a different tone in her voice, more girly. Steve thought it was cute, but not exactly like her.

Steve said nothing, and Natasha squeezed his arm harder. “Yeah… I mean, we’re getting married. Obviously. I men, why we would be looking for honeymo-“ she squeezed his arm again. “Yeah. Married. I love her.” Natasha turned and rolled her eyes, getting back to work on the computer.

“Congratulations. Where you guys thinking about going?”

“Hmm.” He looked at the computer screen for a second. “New… Jersey.”

“Oh.” The guy looked at him for a while, and for a moment Steve thought he got caught. He searched for Natasha’s hand and squeezed a little. Not that brought her attention to him. “I have the exact same glasses.” He pointed out.

“Wow, you guys are practically twins.” She lifted a brow to Steve. He tensed.

“Oh, I wish. I mean..” he pointed at Steve. “Specimen.”

“I know, right? I’m a lucky girl.” Steve heard that tone in her again, and couldn’t help but blush.

“Anyway, if you guys need anything… I’ve been Aaron.”

“Thank you.” Steve said with the rest of the voice he had. That was close. He turned to Natasha, realizing their hands were still attached. “Come on, you said 9 minutes.”

“Shh, relax. Got it.” Steve turned to the screen, looked shoked. Natasha held his gaze right after, making him blush again. “You know it?”

“I used to. Now let’s go.”

They got out the store, walking a little too fast despite Natasha’s warning. Steve saw some STRIKE agents passing through the halls and he started to tense again.

Natasha searched for his hand and grabbed it. Steve laced their fingers and held his speed on the walk, or they would soon be noticed by the agents.

He started to think for a moment that he could get used to Nat’s hand attached to his, her soft squeeze and delicate hands. Those hands killed and crashed a thousand men, but right know they felt really good in his.

Steve looked back and saw some STRIKE agents getting close. “We should go separate ways. You go to the parking lot, I distract them and meet you in ten minutes.” He started to part their hands but Natasha held it.

“Ok _star-spangled man with a plan_ , shut up and put your arm around me. Laugh at something I said.” She pushed his arm up, snuggling in him and hiding her face. He made an awful fake laugh when some agents passed through them that actually made her laugh.

“That actually worked.” He said and Natasha chuckled, still not wanting to get out of Steve’s embrace. They parted and went to the escalator, still looking around for some hints. Natasha froze when she saw Rumlow coming in the opposite escalator. She turned to Steve.

“ _Kiss me_.”

His gaze met hers. “W-what?”

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.” She said with a grin.

“Yeah, they do, Natasha.”

She rolled her eyes and pressed her lips against his, pulling him close by his neck. At first he just stayed there, but as the seconds passed he lifted his hand to her waist. It didn’t last long. Natasha pulled away and turned to walk again. “Still uncomfortable?”

Steve blushed licking his now dry lips, shaking his head. “I guess that’s not exactly the word I would use.

“Good.” She turned her head to him with a grin.

 

 

They picked up an random car in the parking lot, Natasha leaving all the job to Steve. She would make sure to ask him later about how Captain America learned how to steal a car. They were traveling silent for several minutes, except for the really old country music playing on the radio.

“Oh my god, Rogers, I know you’re old but this is… _terrible_. “ she had put her feet back up on the dash, making Steve roll his eyes.

“Jesus, will you take yo-”

“Nope.” Natasha adjusted herself so she could reach the radio, passing through some stations. Her face lightened up the slightest when she stoped in one. Some music that Steve didn’t really know was playing and apparently Natasha was enjoying, getting back to her previous position and putting her hands on her thighs, beating a little with the rhythm. He could see through the corner of his eyes that she was mumbling something, singing along really low. He tried not to laugh.

“What is this?” he asked, looking at her.

“Kings of Leon.” she shrugged. “They’re amazing. You should add to the list.”

“ _I don’t know._ ” he mocked.

“What? They are amazing, okay? That’s it, once this all is over, you and me are spending some time listening to them.”

“Sure, ma’am”

She kept singing along, Steve just enjoying her soft and low voice. He wished she would sing just a little louder, it looked like she had a great voice. He would tell her that someday.

“Can I ask you something? I mean you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to… But it’s kinda like if you don’t,  you’re answering though…” she started as soon as some pop music started playing and she lowered the volume.

“What?”

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” she tried to hide the little smile in her face, but he didn’t miss it.

“Um… That bad?” he tried not to look upset.

“I didn’t say that! I was just wondering how much… practice you had.” she blinked

“I don’t need practice.”

“Everybody needs pra-.”

“That wasn’t my first kiss since 1945, ok? I’m 95, I’m not dead.”

Well, that wasn’t a lie. He had a couple dates with a waitress a few months ago, after Clint and Tony didn’t stop telling him to go out, to enjoy life. She was really nice, actually, had a great laugh and beautiful long blonde hair. Her name was Ashley, but apparently she had some unresolved history with an ex-boyfriend, so their relationship ended in a month.

“Okay… No one special?” she seemed curious.

“Well… believe it or not, it’s kinda hard to find someone to share life’s experience.” She chuckled a little at that.

“That’s fine, just make something up…”

“What, like you?”

“I don’t know,” she wasn’t offended by his words. “truth is a matter of circunstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time… and neither am I.”

“Seems like a tough way to live. But a good way not to die, I guess.”

“ _Exacly._ ” she smiled at nothing, just looking at the window. She turned to him. “Who do you want me to be?”

He looked confused for a moment. He probably didn’t know the answer, either.

“How about a friend?” she laughed a little at that. She stared at the window again, her hands patting her thighs softly. Steve wanted her to be his friend, he wanted to trust her and she couldn’t help but simle at that.

“There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers.” He looked at her and that fucking grin was all over her face.

“ _I like to take some risks._ ” he said, not looking at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment :)


	2. Trust

Natasha couldn’t really remember how she woke up in a different car with a worried Steve Rogers yelling her name. Her head ached like hell and his voice was growing louder when she opened her eyes.

“What happened? Wh-“

“ _Thank God_ , you’re awake.” She heard Steve hit the wheel “You scared me.”

“Don’t need to miss me already, Rogers. I’m… fine.” Natasha repositioned herself, the pain going through her spine. “Where are we?”

That was definitely not the car they had earlier.

“I… I had to get another car to get us out of there. They shot a missile at us, remember that?"

“Oh, yeah. Good times.” She put a hand on her head, looking at Steve. “Hey, you saved me.”

“Shh… it’s okay, really. How are you handling? Everything on piece?” He took off his eyes from the dark road for a few seconds.

She turned to him and kissed his cheek. “I’m perfectly fine. Any idea where we’re going now?”

“I know a guy.”

 

 

 

“Look, I’m sorry about this. But we need a place to lay low.”

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”

They travelled long, Natasha didn’t count the time. Steve spent a lot of time driving through unnecessary roads just to outwit possible now-HYDRA agents and she tried to take some rest, although she couldn’t. Now she was hardly on her feet, Steve’s hand on her back while they were standing at Sam Wilson’s back door.

“ _Not everyone._ ” Said Sam, recognizing the redhead from the day she went to pick up Steve in a morning run. “Come in.”

He opened the door wider, allowing Steve and Natasha to pass and closing right behind them, closing the curtain too.

Natasha was not someone who easily trusted someone like that. But she trusted Steve, and if he trusted Sam, she thought she was okay with that. _For now_.

“She’s okay?” He asked, noticing the woman mumble as she walked held by Steve.

Natasha just shook her head, looking at Steve.

“She’s gonna be fine.” He assured, sitting her in a high chair on the kitchen. Sam brought a glass full of water and handed to her. “Thanks.” Steve said, making sure she drank everything.

Natasha didn’t say anything for a while, and Steve knew that because that was her way.

“Eh--” Sam cleared his throat, looking away from Natasha, who kept drinking her water. “Do enlighten me, how did Captain America and Bl…”

“Natasha.” She murmured behind her glass.

”…Natasha ended up being chased by SHIELD? I thought you…”

“It’s not SHIELD anymore.” Steve said, sitting on the chair beside Natasha. “It’s HYDRA.”

Sam frowned, looking from Steve to Natasha, expecting some explanation. “HYDRA? That… nazi-whatever organization? The HYDRA you defeated back in the war??”

“Right under our noses. It’s complicaded…”

Silence fell for a while, and they could only hear Natasha’s heavy breathing.

“You two need to get some rest. The guest room is right there, there’s a bathroom in, I can get some clean clothes for you both.” Sam said and Steve stood on his foot, touching Natasha’s arm. “I don’t think we can think anything straight right now. But we’re definitely talking about this in the morning, okay?”

“Okay. And thanks, Sam.”

“Dude, relax. Here.” He guided the couple to the second room in the hallway, with fresh colours and a bed for two. “Eh- I hope you don’t mind sharing the bed.”

“I can take the couch.” Steve said, leading Natasha to sit on the bed.

“Don’t be stupid.” She half-smiled, shrugging. “It’s okay, Sam, thank you.”

“I’ll make some food, you guys look like need some energy. Steve, I’ll get the clothes.” He said and Steve followed him to the kitchen, leaving a tired Natasha in the bedroom. “So.”

“So?” Steve frowned.

“You and Natasha, huh?” Sam let out a small grin, while getting the ingredients to make some sandwiches.

“That again? No. We’re good, we’re friends.”

“Really? Last time I asked you about her you said you didn’t know if you could trust her.”

“It’s complicated. Nat is a… _quiet_ person. Sometimes it’s really hard to know what’s on her mind.” He murmured as low as possible, making sure she wasn’t hearing.

“Yeah, okay.” Sam looked at him for a few seconds, then looked away. “I’ll get the clothes.” He left through the hallway, vanishing from Steve’s sight.

Steve didn’t really had time to process all the information he got in such little time: being chased by his own team, SHIELD’s fall, the realization that maybe he could actually trust Natasha, the kiss. _The kiss_. He still felt the softness of her lips on his, if he tried hard. He tried harder to get that out of mind, because he was sure it was not a big deal for Nat, so he wouldn’t make it weird ( _he was a master at making things weird back in the day_ ).

Sam came back a few minutes later, carrying a little bag.

“May I ask why do you have woman’s clothes?” Steve frowned, looking at the mount of clothes that Sam handed him.

“Roselyn. Ex-girlfriend. I suppose she doesn’t want it back.” He said, a little bitter. “There’s some towels too, for the shower. And here…” Sam put the tray with some sandwiches on it over the clothes on Steve’s arms.

“Thanks, Sam. I don’t know how I…”

“It’s okay, Steve. Now get some rest. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Goodnight.” Steve said and entered the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He didn’t see Natasha on the bed where he left her, but heard the shower in the bathroom. “Nat?” he knocked on the door.

“Hey. You got the clothes?” He heard her voice through the door. “And, um, a towel too, actually.”

“Yeah, I got everything.” He said, hearing her turn off the shower. “Do you want me to-“

She opened the door, putting just her head out, a few of her red curls dripping.

“So.”

“Um?”

“The clothes and the towel, Steve.” She put her hand out and he could see her wet shoulder too.

“Oh—here” he handed her the things, stepping away as fast as he could.

Natasha left the bathroom a few minutes later, her hair still a little damp, and now in little curls. Steve preferred her hair like that more than when she straightened, even though he never told her that. She wore sweatshirt pants and a t-shirt that seemed a little large on her, no make-up anymore and bare feet. Steve thought he never saw her this beautiful before.

“Thank God, I’m so hungry.” She went to the tray of sandwiches, picking one and sitting on the bed. Steve thought it was really hard to decide to shower or stay looking at her.

“Leave something to me.” He said with a grin, entering the bathroom.

“Can’t promise you that.”

 

Steve got out minutes later, wearing Sam’s clothes. His friend made sure he got his larger shirt, so it could fit him good, and got some sweatshirt pants too.

Turns out Natasha actually left two sandwiches for him, that Steve thankfully ate in seconds, while the redhead walked around the room, looking every book and every detail of it.

“You’re okay?” Steve asked, seeing her lean on the dresser across the room from hi, with a stereo right beside her. She started to look at the CD’s over it.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Oh, God.” She smiled to herself, picking up some CD cover.

“What?”

She didn’t respond. Nat put the CD in the stereo and pressed ‘play’. An slow song came in, something Steve couldn’t recognize, until the singer started and he was pretty sure it was Kings of Leon.

“Your friend has a good taste. It’s called ‘Closer’… It’s my favorite.” She let out a grin, staring at Steve. “Do you know how to dance, Rogers?”

“Um— _No_.”  he froze, suddenly looking away from her. Natasha let out a small laugh.

“Here.” She went slowly to him, letting out her hand. “Come on.”

“Nat, I don’t think y-“

“Come on, Steve. I love this song. Dance with me.”

“I don’t know how.” Steve said, looking from her hand to her incredibly green eyes.

“ _I’ll show you how._ ” She said sweetly and Steve let out a small and sad smile unwittingly, remembering an old talk. “Do you trust me?”

His gaze met hers and he got her hand, standing on his feet in front of her. Natasha smiled in a way Steve never seen her do it before, a little more wider and comforting.

“I might step on your feet.”

“I’m sure you won’t” She put his hand on her waist as resting hers on his broad shoulders. “It’s easy, just… Move with the music, you know. It’s easier than those new songs.” Her voice was low, and all Steve could focus was her mouth and eyes, that was on his all the time. “See? You’re doing great.”

Steve and Natasha started to laugh together, their feet still moving and her head falling on Steve’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, he feeling her warmth, smelling her amazing natural scent while holding her delicate waist. Steve moved his right hand to her hair and stroked a little, feeling her snuggling under his touch.

He moved to her neck and brought Natasha’s head up, meeting her gaze. They stopped  dancing now, eyes focused on each other’s eyes and mouth, breaths mixing between them.

“ _Kiss me._ ” She said softly.

Steve didn’t hesitated this time. He couldn’t think straight either, letting his hands wander through Natasha’s hair and back, opening his mouth when she played with her tongue.

It was way different from the escalator kiss. It was hotter, longer, more passionate.. _The rush was the same_ , somehow. Natasha held on Steve’s shoulders, letting her hand wander down his arms and then moving to pull his hair lighter. She stepped back, bringing Steve with her until her back hit the dresser behind her. He brought her up and set Natasha on it, never daring to stop kiss her.

After that, Steve forgot all the amount of information he got earlier. All he could focus was Natasha. Her amazing mouth, her soft skin, her smile, the sight of her taking off their clothes, the _wonderful_ little noises she made on this ears, the feel of her nails on his back, the fact that her eyes never left his, even the slow song playing low in the back.

_He really was staring to like Kings of Leon._

Steve took her to bed after that, still hypnotized by that fucking amazing little smile she had on her lips. Natasha snuggled in his embrace and they stayed like that for seconds until they fell asleep.

 

The firsts rays of the morning entered the window, making Steve mumble. He covered his eyes and turned to Natasha’s side, finding it empty. It wasn’t even 6 a.m. and she wasn’t there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, they did it
> 
>  
> 
> please let your opinions! :)


	3. Fault

“Morning.” The redhead heard from the other side of the room, taking her eyes off the window. She looked like she had maybe two hours of sleep. “You’re up early.” Sam continued, noticing that she didn’t answer. “Thought you both would wake up after ten, you seemed pretty exhausted.”

“I’m a morning person.” She shrugged. That was a lie.

“I see. Breakfast?”

“That’d be great.” She gave him a smile, getting up from the parapet. “I’ll see how Steve is holding up.”

“I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

Natasha opened the door to the room she and Steve shared for the night, finding the bed empty. She heard the sink behind the bathroom door, so she just settled on the bed.

Steve looked across the mirror and could see a glimpse of red through the opened door. He dried out his hands and turned to her.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She smiled a bit, not looking at him for long. “How long you’re up?”

“Few minutes.”

“Sam is making us breakfast.”

_Was she really going to react like nothing happened?_

“Great.”

_Do something._

“Forgot to tell him that you don’t like waffles.”

_Say something._

She had her head down now, while playing with something on her nails.

“You’re okay?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged, but Steve knew her better.

He stepped closer, sitting on the bed but suddenly moving away a little because he realized he was too close.

“Tell me.”

She met his gaze for several seconds before she could let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding for so long. She bit her lip a little, looking away and trying to find some distraction on the big blue wall of Sam’s guest room.

“When I first joined SHIELD I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded the KGB for HYDRA…” She said and Steve listened to her carefully. “I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but… I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore, can’t I?”

“Well…” He readjusted himself on the bed, looking at her knees. “There’s always a chance you might be in the _wrong business_.” He let out a grin for her and she returned another.

“You seem pretty happy for someone who just found out they died for nothing.” She teased.

“I actually had a great night--“

“Breakfast is ready, if you guys… eat this kind of thing.” Sam appeared at the door, holding some papers. “I made waffle.”

“Sorry.” Natasha got up and patted at Steve’s shoulder.

_Steve hated Sam (and the waffles) this moment._

 

 

“It was him… It was Bucky, I’m sure.” He kept saying over and over, while the truck was conducted to somewhere the had no idea, with Sam quiet, two HYDRA agents pointing their guns at them at the slightest movement and Natasha bleeding to death.

“That’s impossible. It’s been years…” Sam spoke for the first time in minutes, right after taking a glimpse of the red dripping down Natasha’s shoulder. “We need something or she’ll bleed out soon.”

Natasha kept biting her lip, her hands disabled to move and stop the bleeding. She heard every word Steve was saying, but it sounded nuts to her. The Winter Soldier was not friendly, and now she had two scars to remind her of that.

“…even when I had nothing I had Bucky.” Steve was in some kind of trance.

“ _None of this was your fault, Steve._ ” He heard her sweet and incredibly tired voice and lifted his head to meet her gaze, not believing that for a moment he forgot she was there.

“Steve.” Sam called, trying to make his friend to focus. “ _We need to do something or she’ll bleed out._ ”

Natasha couldn’t remember what happened before really well, and that was the second time in less than forty-eight hours. She saw one of the agents attack the other, and there was Hill, and everything was black.

She woke up feeling little pats on her cheek, opening her eyes and finding Steve’s face right in front of her.

“Hey, hey. Nat. It’s me. You’re doing great, we are already near the place… Hill?”

“We’re close. Hold on.” She heard Maria’s voice somewhere in the car and blacked out again, just waking up when they were almost there, with Sam and Steve helping her out of the car right after.

 

Natasha was laying back on the bed, facing the celling of the hideout. It was incredibly hard to believe that her boss, the man she devoted her trust, who gave her a second chance when no one else did, was alive this whole time. And never contacted her, never told her his plan, said that he didn’t know who he could trust. Fury was just like her when it comes to trust, but this was Natasha. She could trust him his life and she thought he knew that.

Of course he came to talk to her after, and gave her this exact explanation: “ _I’m just like you._ ”

But no. This was different. She spent half of her life thinking she was worthy of his trust. And now this.

“Nat.” A voice brought her back, suddenly making her jump a little and her shoulder hurt.

“Steve, hey.” She said softly as he stepped closer and she sat on the bed.

“ _No, no--_ ” He reached his arms to her.

“Shh-, I’m fine. I’ve been through worse, believe me.”

“Okay…” He met her gaze, touching her hair softly and analyzing the bandage on her left shoulder. “Everything on piece?”

“Just a few stitches.” Natasha smiled, holding his pulse. “How about you?”

“I’m okay. I guess. No stitches.” He moved his hands to her waist and their faces as a few inches away. Steve kept looking at her wound.

“That’s not what I meant.” She gave him a grin, moving her right rand to his shoulder. “You can tell me.”

“I know.”

“You just don’t want to right now.”

He nodded. Natasha kissed his cheek then moved to his neck, and then to the corner of his lips. Steve smiled.

“I’m sorry he did this to you.” He joined their foreheads. “ _Again._ ”

“It’s not your fault, Steve. None of this.”

He nodded again, but Natasha didn’t believe him this time.

“You need some sleep.” He pecked her lips quickly, moving his hands to her hair again and stroked carefully. “I’ll be out there if you need anything.”

“Okay. Thank you.” She smiled a little, letting him move to the door. The redhead turned so she could lay comfortably.

“And Nat…”

“Yeah?”

“ _I will tell you about this._ Another time.”

Natasha smiled, but to Steve’s misfortune, he couldn’t see it.


	4. Don't Come Back For Me

After Maria told them the plan to blow some HYDRA shit up, Natasha didn’t have the chance to talk to Steve again, both of them going on separate ways. Sam went to see her when she was in the car ready to leave.

“Ready?” He said as he saw her put the blond wig on her head.

“More than ever.” She let out a grin, opening the suitcase on her lap. “Where’s Cap?”

“Bridge. All serious, looking at the nothing.”

“I figured.” Natasha sighed. “Talk to him, okay?”

“Sure, ma’am. Make yourself a safe flight.” Sam saluted her, stepping away from the car as it started moving.

“I will.” She blinked.

Natasha placed the device on her head, suddenly looking exactly as the councilwoman Hawley. Facing the window, she kept her mind on the plan, and on Steve sometimes.

 

 

 

After Natasha finally revealed her disguise to Alexander Pierce, she thought everything was under control.

Outside the big glass wall, they could notice something weird at the helicarriers. One at the upper right exploded on the side.

“Still doubted on Rogers chances?” She asked with a small grin.

“You seem pretty high opinion on his chances, agent Romanoff.” Pierce stiffened, two counselors  still pointing their guns at him. “You know, I don’t think he’ll appreciate your loyalty when he sees all the…”

Natasha took her eyes off of the keyboard to look at him.

“…things you did.” He let out a mischievous small . “ _Oh._ ”

The redhead raised an eyebrow.

“Is this love, agent Romanoff?”

“What is wrong with you people…”

“Seeing all the red, all the deaths, all the _lives_ you destroyed. God… It would be such a disappointment, wouldn’t it be?” Natasha shivered a little, taking her attention back to the keyboard. “Oh, I’m sure he puts you in a pedestal. America’s golden boy… _Ending up with a russian assassin_. Isn’t that a tragedy?”

“Shut up.” She mumbled.

Natasha knew Pierce was right. Who was she kidding? How could she pretend that this thing between them would somehow work, knowing that the moment she pressed that button everything would chance. Steve would change.

“If you press that button, everyone will know. Sao Paulo, Bogotá, the children’s hospital…” He came closer. “Are you ready for the world to see you as you really are?”

Natasha breathed hard, looking at him. “ _Are you_?”

 

Natasha woke up minutes later, after electrify herself to escape from Pierce’s trap. Fury helped her to stand up and she was able to see Alexander dead on the ground.

“Can’t say I’m sorry.” She said a little weak.

They heard a huge explosion coming from the falling helicarriers, making them turn heads quick.

“We gotta move, Steve and Sam can be anywhere in that helicarriers.” Natasha asked, rushing to the door, followed by the director.

" _Steve_ , huh? What happened to "Captain Rogers"?"

"Shut it. Can you pilot?"

“I taught you.”

“No you didn’t.”

 

They entered the helicopter and Fury took off fast. Natasha adjusted herself on the back.

“You know…” She heard him say through the headset. “I don’t remember if I told you, but before I faked my death, everything I hid on the hardrive… Your file is there.”

Natasha looked away from the window to him. “You what?”

Nick handed her a small pendrive without turning his head to her. “ _You're welcome._ ”

Natasha half-smiled to herself, then put the drive at her bag next to her. She took out her catsuit from the bag. “Keep your eye on the sky.”

“Always did.”

 

 

“ _Rogers?_ ” The redhead asked through her communicator while trying to pass he uniform through her arms. “ _Steve! Are you there? Where are you?_ ”

“Try Wilson.”

“ _Sam! Sam! Where are you?_ ” She said as she finished her suit.

" _41st floor, northwest corner! FAST!_ "

" _Got it!_ Northwest corner. Quick.” She spoke to Fury. “ _Stay where you are, Sam!_ ”

" _Not an option!_ ” Sam jumped, and somehow got caught by Natasha’s hand. “41st floor!! 41st!!”

"It's not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building." Fury called out, taking a look at the mess it was out there.

“Where’s Steve?” Natasha helped him to sit.

“He’s ther-- _Well_...” They both looked at the sky to see the helicarrier that supposed to have Steve Rogers in, falling to the ground.

 

“On your left.” Sam heard the captain’s voice coming from the hospital bed. He smiled to the friend and sat on the edge of the chair he have been sitting since Natasha left this morning.

“Gave us a really hard time, dude. How you holding up?”

“Like everything’s broken.”

“Pretty much. But I’m pretty sure the serum will work you up.” Sam said and Steve chuckled lightly, trying to accommodate on the bed. He took a sip of the cup of water on the table next to his bed. “Natasha was here. Like, five minutes ago.”

Steve turned his head to the man. “Yeah?”

“Yep. She spent _the whole night_ here with you.” Sam tried to keep the serious face.

“Oh, shut up.” Steve shook his head trying not to smile and Sam laughed, getting up to pick his phone on the table.

“I asked for that thing you wanted. She said she asked for some favors in Kiev. Here.” He hesitated before giving the file to him. “You sure you want to see Barnes’ file?”

“I need to, Sam.” He said weakly, and Sam handed him the papers.

“Wait.” Sam turned his head to Steve. “You’re… You’re going after him.”

Steve didn’t answer. He sat at his bed and drank all the water he could, while searching through the archive.

“Steve. _No_.”

“You don’t get it.”

“He’s a ghost. He doesn’t want you to find him. Steve… It’s not him anymore.”

“Look, you don’t have to come with me.”

Sam huffed, putting his phone in his pocket. He analyzed Steve’s face for a few seconds, knowing that nothing he could say would make his friend give up on this. “When do we start?”

 

 

A week has passed, and Natasha kept her distance. She went to the hospital after he woke up, but only talked to the doctors and went straight home.

Pierce was right. She didn’t deserve to have this, to have a connection, to have someone at her side who she could trust her life without ruining this person. Steve was such a good man, so much more than she would ever be, more than she would ever dream.

 

After her court appearance, Natasha got a text from Fury, telling her to meet him at the graveyard. The redhead went to the place as soon as she could.

Arriving at the graveyard, she saw Steve there, with Sam and Fury at his side. They were talking normally, Fury seemed to be saying his goodbyes. She tried to turn around but Sam noticed her, gesturing with his head.

“Sam. Boss. _Steve._ ” She greeted them with a grin.

“Romanoff.” Sam and Fury said it back.

“So, Fury, what you were saying…” Sam grabbed Nick arm gently and pushed him to the side, both of them moving away from Steve and Natasha.

Awkward silence.

“He’s so _discreet_.” Steve shook his head, looking at Natasha’s feet.

She giggled, finally facing him. “He tried his best.”

Natasha noticed Sam at the back, putting baggage at the car’s trunk. She frowned.

“ _You’re leaving_.” For the first time in a while, she looked into his eyes. She felt something funny in her stomach, but looked away as fast as she could.

“I am.” He placed his hand in his pockets. “I have to.”

“I know.” She said quickly.

Steve got closer, still not really looking at her. “You’re leaving?”

“No.”

“Not staying, either.”

“I blew all my covers, I gotta find a new one.”

“That… might take a while.”

“ _I’m counting on it_.” Natasha let out a grin, that was returned by a large smile from him.

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. He didn’t wanted to leave. She didn’t, either.

But they had to.

“Uhm… Will you do me a favor? Call Sharon.”

Steve grinned at her, taking his hands out of his pockets. “What if I want to call you?”

Natasha laughed. Captain America was openly flirting with her. She was so proud of him.

“Well… _You have my number_.”

“I do.”

She moved closer and placed a kiss on his cheek. Steve wanted her to stay there forever, the warmth of her mouth still burning close to the corner of his lips even after she moved away.

_Stay._

She wanted to say it.

But she didn’t.

 

Inside of the car, Sam and Steve watched as Natasha vanished through the trees.

“ _You’re so stupid_.” Sam started the car, shaking his head.

 

 

 

IT CONTINUES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter i'll try to pass through my trauma:  
> age of ultron


	5. Something Missing

“ _Avengers Assemble!_ ” She heard Tony’s voice through the phone.

“This can’t be any good, then.” Natasha mumbled while walking at her apartment with her bare feet. “Pep’s here, by the way. She says _hi_.”

The blond woman grinned at her and went back to the magazine on her lap, taking a sip of her tea.

“ _I might’ve heard about that. Tell her I’ll be home at 8, I’m flying back from London now._ ”

“Got it.”

“ _We found Loki’s Scepter. Thor’s heading to the Tower – God, the phone reception in Asgard is_ awful _. Anyway-_ “

“You found the Scepter?” She sat at the arm of the couch, next to Pepper.

“ _What? No. I mean, we know where it is. We just-_ “

“Have to get in and take it away.”

“ _Pretty much, yeah. Anyway, Banner’s here with me, I can’t reach Cap, and I was hoping you could talk to him and Legolas._ ”

_Oh._

“I can talk to Clint. I’m not sure about Rogers.” She tried to keep a straight face and her tone normal , but at the mention of the name, Pepper drew her eyes at the redhead, eyes lightly curious.

“ _I’ll keep trying then. Thanks, Red. Tony out._ ”

“God.” Natasha took the phone away from her ear. “He has to stop the _Tony Out_ thing…” She tried not to look at Pepper, who has lowered the magazine to face her.

“Don’t you change the subject, Romanoff.” She set the magazine and the tea at the table.

“There’s no subject.”

“What is it? The last time you guys reunited, New York almost exploded.” The blond got up and headed to the kitchen, followed close by Natasha. She noticed the friend a little too quiet. “You haven’t heard from _him_ , have you?”

Natasha opened the fridge and got herself a bottle of water. “No.”

“Wow. Never took Cap as a hit-and-run guy.” She leaned against the balcony, and Natasha blustered out a laugh. “Did you try to call?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Nope.” Natasha shrugged, drinking the bottle of water. “It wasn’t going anywhere, believe me. Steve deserves someone way better than me, he probably realized that in time.” She noticed Pepper’s look over her. “It’s better this way, really. Stop looking at me like that!”

“Okay. If you say so.” Pepper started to look for her purse. “I gotta go now. Huge conference in two days and I’ll spend some time with Tony before I have to go. Call me anytime, okay?” The blond went towards Natasha and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“You too.” She smiled as Pepper let go of her, moving to the door. “And _please_ tell Stark to stop the Tony Out.” Natasha heard her laugh when she stepped out the door.

The redhead went back to her living room, picking the glass of wine on the top of her coffee table and emptied it. As she put the glass back down, Natasha glances at the book under it - _Brave New World_ , by Aldous Huxley. She smiled to herself as she picked it up and opened it at the first page.

“ _Just because you told me you’ve never read it. Unbelievable.”_ was well written in a thick black calligraphy made by Steve when he gave her his favorite book as a teenager.

Steve.

It’s been a whole year since they saw each other for the last time and went their separate ways. She thought about calling, of course. But it would sound so weak, so _desperate_ because she was so sure he was doing fine without her, doing whatever he was doing with whoever he was doing just because he could. He probably met a lot of nice, wonderful girls, full of life and inspiring stories to tell, someone he could actually relate to.

But she never called. He didn’t, either, so she thought it was for the best. Maybe yes, they should just keep it that way, they were great teammates after all, maybe it wasn’t worth to lose all this for childishness. Eventually that strange and bubbling feeling in her stomach would fade away and she would look at him again like nothing else was wrong.

Natasha picked up the phone and dialed Clint’s phone.

“ _Sup, Tasha._ ” She heard Clint over the phone and a few kids screaming at the back ‘daddy, daddy, I got it!’.

“Hey there, farm boy. Avengers assemble. Please don’t tell me you’re trying to teach the kids to shoot arrows, I would feel myself obliged to tell Laura.”

“ _Then I’m not._ ” Clint laughed softly. “ _So, you mean it? It’s been a while since the whole gang reunited. What’s up?_ ”

“Stark just called me. Apparently, he found Loki’s scepter. We need you to be at the Tower until tomorrow morning, okay?”

“ _Got it. How about the others?_ ”

“Everyone knows except for Rogers.”

“ _Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow._ ”

“Tell Laura and the kids I said hi. And for God’s sake, careful with those arrows.”

Clint laughed again. “ _Sure thing, boss. Bye._ ”

 

 

 

“Nothing.” Sam said it out loud and him and Steve walked into the cheap hotel room. “It’s _unbelievable_! This is probably the 10th time we almost got him. Someone can’t disappear like that without leaving back tracks to follow. It’s just ridiculous.”

Steve huffed and took off his wet coat, the heavy rain falling outside the room. “He doesn’t want to be found.”

“Took you a while to notice that-“

A knock on the door interrupted Sam. They both looked from the door to each other. Steve got up and went to his shield at the side of one of the beds and Sam took the gun out of his jacket. The captain moved quietly to the door and opened in a rush.

“Agent 13?”

“Steve, hi. I’m here in the name of Mr. Stark.” She spoke loud, trying to stand the sound of the rain. Steve invited her in. “Thanks.”

Sam lowered his gun as Steve closed the door behind him. “She said Stark?”

“ _Something happened?_ ” Steve asked quickly, keeping distance from the blond woman.

“He needs you in New York. It’s about the Avengers. Thanks.” She said carefully, accepting the towel Sam brought to her. Steve faced her. “Look, he didn’t tell me much, apparently it’s classified. But he needs you there.”

“Okay.” He started walking through the room, setting his shield down. “Wait, how did you find us?”

Sharon remained silent, not looking straight at him.

“You’ve been keeping an eye on us.” Sam deduced, throwing a glare at Steve. “ _Of course._ ”

“It’s my job, remember?” She let out a small grin at Steve, who smiled softly.

“It _was_ your job.”

“I’m sorry. About back in DC. I was just-“

“Following orders. I know. It’s okay, _neighbor_.”

Sharon smiled at him, nodding. She let out a heavy breath and looked at them. “Now I need to get you two out of here. I’m with the CIA here in Berlin, we can give you a ride.”

“Sweet.” Sam said happily.

 

A few hours later, Sam and Steve were on a plane with the CIA and Sharon Carter. They settled at the back of the plane side by side.

“So.”

“What?” Steve said looking at his phone.

Sam looked at Steve’s phone screen and huffed. Every once in a while when he looked at it at the past year, there was an unsent message. _Always to the same person_.

“I’ve been saying this for a year now- _You’re so stupid_.” Sam leaned back on his seat, shaking his head. “She’ll be there and you know it, right?”

“She never did it, either.”

“She was waiting for you.”

“Natasha doesn’t _wait_ for anybody.” He smiled softly, shutting down his phone and putting it back in his pocket. “Anyway, what would I say? ‘ _Hey I know I’m miles away and chasing someone down and I probably already lost my chance with you, but you know, we should grab some coffee sometime next summer maybe_ ’. Come on.”

“I’m sure she would come up with a ‘ _yeah sure come get me I’m in Rome_ ’. Dude, it’s Natasha. I’ve been hearing about this woman since the day we got into that car.” Sam lowered his voice a little so the CIA agents couldn’t hear them. And it was true. Ever since they left, every once in a while, if they passed through a place Natasha said she likes, Steve would tell him about it. Or if they saw a type of food she enjoyed, Steve would also tell him about it. It wasn’t that Sam would complain about it, he just wanted Steve to _fucking text her_ and tell her that he misses her like hell.

“It would never-“

“You don’t know.”

“Look, are you going to continue? ‘Cause those shrimp cocktails over there look delicious.” Steve waved at the stewardess, who was serving the agents.

“Oh, forget it, it’s shrimp cocktails.” Sam also started waving.

 

 

 

Natasha arrived early at the Tower, only finding Maria at the common room.

“Natasha!” She got up from her seat to hug the redhead. “It’s been a while.”

“How are you, Hill? I’ve worked for Stark for like two months and I don’t know you do it.”

“Well, it has its goods and bads.” Maria shrugged. “ I have a private driver, though. It’s awesome.” Natasha laughed, walking around the room and noticing the change since the last time she was there. Maria’s cellphone ringed. “It’s Stark. He’s going to be here in-“

“ _Honey, I’m home!_ ” Stark stormed in the room, making Maria jump. Natasha didn’t even move. “Agent Romanoff.”

“-now.” Hill proceeded. “Do you still need me for anything, boss?”

“No, thank you Maria.”

Hill smiled at Natasha and collected her things on the table, leaving the room after. Following after, a loud noise came from outside the Tower and Natasha and Tony looked at each other with a meaningful look.

“Mister Thor just arrived, sir.” They heard Jarvis’ voice through the speakers. From the door that lead to the balcony, the God of Thunder himself entered the room.

“Thor!” Tony shouted, shaking the man’s hand.

“Stark. Lady Natasha.” He smiled at her and kissed her knuckles. Natasha smiled back.

“How’s Asgard?” She asked after giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“For the love of Odin, it’s infested with _brodwings_.” Thor shook his head, his golden locks waving shoulder to shoulder.

Natasha and Tony looked at each other again.

“ _You don’t have those here?_ ”

Both of them shook their heads.

Clint and Bruce entered the room as they talked.  The archer gave Natasha a big hug and shook Stark and Thor’s hands. Bruce waved at everybody, looking disconcerted cute as always. He didn’t like the chance to turn into the other guy at any minute.

“Where’s our captain?” Thor wandered around the room, setting the Mjölnir on the table. Natasha scoffed a little. Silently.

They turned to the balcony at the sound of engine coming from the sky. A small jet now was landing on Stark’s heliport. Natasha squinted and got closer to the big glass doors that lead to the heliport. Getting out from the jet, she saw recognized Sharon Carter, Sam Wilson.

And Steve Rogers.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Nat and Pepper being friends (I wish she was in aou)  
> and also love Sam calling Steve stupid  
> don't judge me


	6. Awkward

Natasha stepped back until she was nearly behind Thor, hoping his large silhouette would somehow hide her. Sharon, Steve and Sam entered through the glass door, being welcomed by Tony Stark. 

"Did you make a good flight, Cap?" Tony smirked. 

"Tony." Steve smirked back. "You could've _texted_." 

"Well, you know me, always up for a show." He extended his hand. "How are you?" 

"I'm-" His eyes captured the glimpse of red hair behind Thor's golden locks and he lost his words for a moment. " _Fine_. I'm great." 

"Steven, my friend!" Thor shouted and involved Steve in a big hug. Steve waved his head to Clint and Bruce. 

"Barton, Doctor Banner." 

"How you doin', Cap?" Clint patted at his shoulder and Steve just smiled back. The last time he saw the archer was on a mission in Dublin, when he came to join Steve and Natasha after a particularly tough battle a year and a half ago. 

"Okay, cut with the chit-chat, let's get to business. J, fill Barton, Rogers and Thor with our next mission." He finally turned to the blond woman that was beside Sam Wilson. "Thank you, Agent 13." 

"No problem, Mr. Stark." She grinned and turned to Sam and Steve. "Wilson. _Steve_." Sharon smiled at him. "Avengers." She waved and went to the jet, curious eyes following her walk. 

"What a lovely lady." Thor watched the jet take off and turned to Steve. "Is she your girlfriend, Captain?" 

Sam coughed before Steve could blush and stutter to death. Natasha stiffed uncomfortably on the side, looking outside the big window. He was mentally telling Steve to greet her. 

"-Well..." Stark started, looking from Romanoff to his two newcomers confusedly. "Anyway, Agent Romanoff, me and Doctor Banner would like to talk to you." 

"Sure." She said it out loud before Steve could reach her. Natasha passed straight through him, following Bruce and Tony. 

"-Um. Guys, this is my friend Sam Wilson." He shook his head, turning to Clint and Thor. 

"Heard about your job in DC." Clint shook Sam's hand, a warm and friendly smile on his face. "Not bad, not bad." 

"Any friend of Steve is my friend, too." Thor as usually opened his big arms and also involved Sam in a big hug. 

"Ok, knock it off, Thor, please, you're going to scare him."Clint tried not to laugh. 

"I apologize." Thor let him go and stood next to Steve. "My people are very noble with your warriors." The blond tapped Steve's shoulder a little too hard without noticing. Steve winced, making Clint stuff a laugh. 

"Wow. Thank you." Sam smiled genuinely. " _I like this guy_." 

"You're staying?" Clint asked. 

"Oh, oh- No." Sam waved, moving next to Steve. "This _avenging_ thing, isn't really my thing." He shrugged, extending his hand to Clint and to Thor after. "It was a pleasure." 

Steve follow his friend to the elevator. "Sam. I didn't have time to thank you. I mean-" 

"Cap. It's okay." Sam hugged Steve quickly and tapped his shoulder. "If you need anything, give me a call." He moved into the elevator when its doors opened. "And for God's sake, talk to her." 

"Shut up." 

" _You're so stupid._ " 

 

 

 

Coming out of Tony and Bruce's lab, Natasha moved to her floor – Tony announced that he personally styled each floor to each avenger – and it was really nice of him. Maybe _too nice_. Weird. Arriving at her floor, witch she found out it was above Clint's and bellow Steve's. 

Back in the lab, Tony and Bruce talked to her something about a lullaby – what a stupid name. Something that would calm the Hulk down and stop him to make anymore damage than necessary. They wanted her to do it, something that an Bruce's ex-girlfriend already have tested it. Bruce seemed a little unsure about it, and Natasha too. He knew that maybe this could turn out incredibly bad. 

But Tony talked her into it (only because she wanted it, they all know it needed way more than Tony Stark to convince the Black Widow to do something she didn't wanted to do). Natasha memorized all the moves and prayed to God it would work. But they would only test it in battle, without any previous situation. And that freaked Bruce out, and Natasha too. 

But she was up to take this one for the team.

 

The redhead picked her phone when she felt it vibrating in her pocket. "Barton." 

"Come down here." 

" _You_ come up here." 

She heard him huff on the other side of the line and smiled to herself, setting the phone on her coffee table. A few minutes later, a knock on her door. "Well, it didn't took you long." 

"Yeah, yeah, knock it off." The archer passed through the door after Natasha let him in and threw himself on the couch, searching through the room. "Didn't you think it was too nice from Tony for making all this?" 

"I know, right?" She sat on the chair in front of him. "So, I haven't seen you in a while. How are Laura and the kids?" 

"They're fine. Laura is almost 8 months now, soon we're gonna be minority in that house." He stuffed a laugh and Natasha smiled to herself, looking at her own feet. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about..." 

"What is it, Clinton." 

"I'm sorry, but did I miss something during the summer? What was that back there?" 

"What-" 

"You and Cap." 

Natasha's eyes went wide a little and she stood up to move to the kitchen. It was that obvious? "I don't get it." 

"What? I'm the one that's not getting it. I know you pretty well, Romanoff" 

"Well, I maybe- may have... _hypothetically_ saying- you know" The redhead struggled with a glass of water in her hand. "May have slept with him." 

Clint observed Natasha for a whole minute, as she swallowed her water as nothing was wrong. " _Oh-_ " 

"Hypothetically." 

"You're kidding me." The archer started to laugh, almost falling off the couch. "Okay- that-" Clint tried to remain breathing as he spoke "That was something I was not expecting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave your comments! =)


	7. Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. It's been a while haha. I got a little unmotivated with this fic, and to be honest the college was killing me slowly, so I apologize for the lack of updates. Anyway, I wrote a lot this last days, so here we go :)

“What _exactly_ were you expecting?”

"Oh, don't get me wrong, the lightly sexual tension was always around you two, like, _all the time_. But this was like Cap trying to jump at your throat in anytime soon."

"No it wasn't."

"Believe me, I was there."

"You can't tell anyone, okay? Not even Laura. _For God's sake anyone but Laura_.

"Tash..."

"It was a mistake, okay?" Natasha set her glass on the sink, turning to face Clint, who was trying his best to don't burst out a laugh. "Like, a really, terrible, hideous mistake." The redhead threw herself on the couch, next to the archer. "Please don't let me do this again."

"Well that's-"

"Never again." She pointed at him, her finger touching the tip of his nose.

" _Never again._ "

 

 

Two days later they finally got the last tip to where the old HYDRA facility was located and possibly where the scepter was hidden.

“Got it!”

“What is it exactly, that you got it?” Natasha said without taking her eyes off of the big TV, watching a culinary reality show with Clint and a lost and confused Steve Rogers on the other side of the couch.

“The Scepter, red.” Tony turned the TV off, winning a whine from Clint and a punch on the chest from Natasha. “Avengers Assemble.”

“You know you’re technically not the one to say that.” The archer pointed out at Steve, who have been sitting there for like a hour trying to initiate a small talk with Natasha. Failed and ended up watching Masterchef.

“Shut up, Legolas. You and Kim Possible move to the jet, I need you two piloting one of those things. Hush, hush!” He moved to the door. “Suit up, Cap!”

 

In incredible fifteen minutes, they were all set to go. Steve entered the jet before everyone, almost choking after seeing Natasha’s back at the front seat.

“Hey.”

Her head turned slightly to the side, so he could get a glimpse of her green eyes, but she didn’t exactly looked at him. “Hello, Rogers. All set?” She seemed a lot more interested at the buttons on the control panel than in their conversation.

“Sure…” He tried to look the most casual he could, but ended up with a cracked voice.

“Okay. Then we’re good to go. Tell the others.”

He turned to leave. “Um, Nat-“ _Should he call her that?_ He got this weird habit of calling her by this nickname and she never seemed to mind. But she didn’t use to call him ‘Rogers’ either, not since their first mission together. He kind of missed how his name sounded on her lips. “ _-Natasha_.”

“Yes?” She turned to him this time, that cynical face he knew very well.

“Umm… Ok. Look, I never had the chance to talk to you since I came back. And I-“

“Steve, _don’t_.” Natasha turned back to the control panel, trying to focus on something there and not at the blond man behind her. “Don’t do this. We’re fine.”

“But Natasha-“

“Hello.” Clint hushed into the jet, throwing an apologetic look at the red head, who breathed in relief.

“Barton.” Steve said in a bad mood. “Apparently we’re good to go, then. _Right, Romanoff?_ ” He looked at Natasha, making her turn to him again, that look on her face.

“ _Apparently._ ” She raised an eyebrow at him and they faced each other for a few seconds, before Steve huff and step back from them, moving to the back of the jet.

Clint’s eyes widened at Natasha after she turned back to the control panel, looking for an explanation. She didn’t give him one.

“What the hell was that-“ he murmured.

“Shut up.”

“Well, let’s move.” Tony entered with Thor and Bruce following him behind.

“Let’s get this damn thing.” The god of thunder seemed determinated, walking in circles and moving to talk to Steve at the very back of the jet.

“Calm down, tiger.” Tony looked around while Natasha and Clint prepared to take off. “Okay, Bruce,” He searched the confused doctor at the west side of the jet, looking through the window as the took off and he could see the whole blue sky. “green code, okay? This is the real deal. Think you can do it?”

“Yeah. Ok.” He said a little unsure, receiving a delicate pat at the shoulder from the genius billionaire.

“You’re gonna be fine. And we’re going to get this damn thing, quoting my friend Thor.” He pointed out at the tall man, smiling at the back of the jet. “Everything okay with the lullaby, agent Romanoff?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“ _Lullaby?_ ” All heads turned to the before incredibly quiet captain at the back.

“Oh, yes. We might have discovered something that could, you know, calm the Hulk down.” Stark moved to the center, keeping an optimistic look at Bruce.

“Oh.” Thor smiled, playing with the Mjolnir at his right hand. “And how’s that?”

“It’s amazing, it’s kind of a thing you do with your hand, and if Natasha does it correctly it can-“

“Wait, _what_?” Steve spoke again, all heads turning to him again. He smiled confused. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’s actually-“

“Have you tested it?” The captain remained at his spot, this time earning that Natasha looked directly at him.

“Not… yet.” Bruce said very quietly.

Steve looked at Natasha. “Wha- No. This is crazy.”

“Excuse me?” The red head raised an eyebrow, making sure that she was looking at him and only him.

“Come on!” He smiled, thinking it was really a joke. Were they really going to let Natasha get this close to the Hulk and test something they never that before? “This is just- No. She could get hurt! No offense, Banner.” Steve sent an apologetic look at the doctor, that just waved like it was okay.

“I’ll be fine, Rogers.”

“You agreed with that? That’s just stupid! You know what happened the last time! _You could’ve died_ and this time is not different-“

“I said I’ll be fine and I’ll do it, Captain. No offense, but this is none of your business.” She turned back to the big glass at the front of the jet.

An awkward silence hovered over them, until Tony coughed a little loud. “Okay, that was- Then, since we’re all in agreement…”

“Not everyone.” Steve mumbled. Turning his back to the team and picking his shield, he set down until they arrived at the HYDRA hideout.

 

 

After a good and winning battle, it was time to calm the Hulk down and the task was given to Natasha, despite Steve’s constant disapproval.

The captain secretly followed her to make sure everything was going to be fine. He observed behind a tree, his shield ready to be thrown at any emergency time, but it wasn’t needed. Steve watched her delicate fingers move through his hands and arms until all the green on Bruce’s  skin faded away and he fell tired on the snowed ground.

It felt so _intimate_ , something that only them could share and it made Steve feel awkward about it.

For a few seconds, he wanted to be the big green monster and Natasha could touch him like that again.

Feeling no needed anymore, the captain stepped back quietly and left the two alone, moving back to the spot where he left Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please share you thoughts! :)


	8. Complicated

Later that evening, Tony threw  a huge party at the Tower, inviting a lot of people Steve had no idea who they were. The captain stayed most of the party on his own at, drinking his beer and sometimes getting into a small talk with Thor. He had a few glimpses of Natasha during the party, most of the time she was chatting with Maria Hill and James Rhodes or making her own drinks or talking with doctor Banner in that flirting way that made Steve want to jump off the balcony.

“Captain!” Steve heard Thor’s voice behind him. “Look who’s here.”

He turned and Sam was standing right next to the tall blond. Steve smiled after seeing a familiar face and hugged his friends giving him little pats on his back. Thor left the two after Stark called him from the bar.

“This is… wow.” Sam looked around the big party. “Your life is crazy, dude.”

“Meh, this is just… Stark.” Said Steve against the balcony, laughing softly. They both started to walk around the party, Steve introducing his friend to a few people.

“Sam! It’s good to see you.” Maria said after Steve introduced him to Rhodes. “Fury kept saying to me how he wanted you to join the team.” She said with the glass of champagne close to her mouth hiding her grin.

“Nah… I don’t think this is for me.”

“Are you kidding? Heard about your job in DC.” Rhodes pointed out at him. “If it wasn’t for you guys this place would be down."

After a few minutes, they both returned to walk around the party and meeting some people. Natasha smiled at Sam and raised her glass for him when she saw him from the bar and he smiled back as he went upstairs with Steve, in a small area with less people. They could see the whole party from up there.

“Any news on our case of _missing person_?” Taking a sip of his beer, Sam turned to Steve.

“No.” He smiled sadly, setting his beer on the backboard. “I thought about what you said, you know… Give him some time.”

“It’s been a year, Steve. A whole year.”

“I know. He knows we’re looking for him. And he doesn’t want to be found. Let’s just… Leave it for now, you know?” He shrugged, looking down at the party, seeing a beautiful red head near the bar, making her own drinks and a graciously flustered Bruce next to her. He could swear she was looking directly at Steve too. He swallowed hard and kept his eyes on her, taking a sip of his beer.

Sam watched him carefully and set his drink on the board. “Is Barnes the only person you’re _leaving it for now_?” He got Steve’s attention back, who rolled his eye at him.

“We’re not talking about this again.”

“Sure.” Sam raised him arms in defense, looking at Natasha down the party, while she talked flirty at the man in front of her. “Didn’t see that coming.”

Steve mumbled something at him in a bad mood, but Sam didn’t bother to say something back.

“You’re being stupid. Didn’t you see her face when she saw you?” He murmured in disbelief at Steve. “’ _Natasha doesn’t wait for anybody_ ’, give me a break. Now here you are, watching her like a psychopath.”

“We talked, okay? We’re cool”

“ _You’re cool_. You doesn’t seem cool to me, sir.”

“I am so _cool_ with it that I am gonna go down there and tell Banner to go for it.” Steve took his last sip of beer and moved to the stairs.

“You’re going to _what_?” He tried to speak louder and some people around him stared. “You’re not _that_ stupid.”

Getting closer to the two in the bar, Steve waited until Natasha vanished from behind the counter. He swallowed hard again, the subtle bravery vanishing away from his guts.

“He is that stupid” Sam said to himself up there.

“That’s nice, you and Romanoff.”

“W-what?” Banner turned to him quickly like he was caught doing something very bad. “N-no. Natasha she just… Likes to flirt.”

Steve moved so he could grab another beer from the freezer, and turned to the doctor again. “I’ve see her flirt. Up close.” He got a little lost in the middle, but got himself back again to look at Banner. “It’s just… Not like that.”

“It’s not-“

“Look, being the authority here in waiting too long... Just don’t do that. Just, go for it.” He smiled sadly and passed through Bruce, giving him little pats on his shoulder and moving to the balcony where he could see the whole city and its lights.

He always waited too long. Time seemed to be his worst enemy. He spent years in the ice, away from everybody, being deprived of having a normal and happy life. He always waited too long. He did it with Peggy, now he did it with Natasha. He lost her, just like he lost Peggy.

Closing his eyes, he felt the small breeze in his face, and the smell of the city suddenly was replaced by a soft scent of wildflowers and dry leaves, and Natasha was leaning in the balcony next to him. He always thought she smelled like autumn, and autumn was his favorite season.

“Hey.” She said softly, without really looking at him. Steve could fell her warmth next to his arms, her body on his side just a few inches away. She had a glass in her hand with some red liquid in it, and it smelled something like strawberry and cherry.

“Hi.” It came out really lower than he wanted.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you like that in the jet.” She let out fast, turning her head to him and Steve could finally see those green eyes.

“It’s okay.” He shrugged, drinking his beer and getting his eyes back on the city lights.

Natasha observed him with narrow eyes, noticing he didn’t want exactly to look at her.

“Is that what you really want?” She asked suddenly, and Steve barely could focus on the view this time.

_“What?”_

“Do you want Banner to go for it?” The red head raised an eyebrow, her drink next to her mouth and Steve had to swallow hard for the third time in the evening.

“What?”

“You heard me, Rogers.”

“Yeah- that’s what you want, right? And if that’s what you both want, I mean-“

“You didn’t answer me.”

Steve looked directly at her this time, huffing and taking a sip of his beer. “I guess.”

“You _guess_.” She smirked behind her drink, looking at the view in front of them of the whole shiny New York.

“It’s not really my business-“ Steve tried again.

“But you went there and talked like it was.”

“Look-“

“I get it.” She smiled at him, but this time Steve couldn’t quite decode what kind of Smiles of Natasha Romanoff this one was. Drinking her whole red drink, the spy left quietly, so as her amazing scent.

Steve finished his beer and turned his attention back to the city night, wondering when would he have the ability of not fucking things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave your thoughts! =)


	9. You're not alone

The next day they got pretty beaten by the Maximoff twins, after finding Ultron recruited them and killed Strucker, giving them a clue to them at the surroundings of the secret civilization _Wakanda_.

Back in the jet, a couple hours later from the last Hulk incident, Steve blinked frenetically every time he got a glimpse of a standing Peggy Carter at the back, smiling sadly at him as she said she’s really sorry. She didn’t look like she would be gone anytime soon, so Steve tried to concentrate in everything but her.

Natasha looked quieter than ever, eyes focused on the window as she hugged herself lightly. Nobody was talking, _not even Thor_ , who seemed as trembling as Steve. Bruce was the worst of all, wrapped in a thin blanked shaking and sweating nervously.

Maria Hill contacted them with the bad news: the whole world was against them after the Hulk attack. They had to stay low for a while, and it seems like Clint had all figured out.

Looking at Natasha in that state was as bad as his earlier nightmare and he just wanted her to know that she could talk to him like she used to do. She definitely didn’t seem well. Steve stared back at the west side of the jet and Peggy was still there and her sad smile too. He loved her, but he just wanted her to go away. Looking away from the ghost of his first love, Steve huffed and sank down even more on the chair, making his left knee touch Natasha’s lightly. He didn’t move an inch after that, not wanting to look back at Peggy and not Natasha either. She didn’t move her knee, too. The light touch made her shoulder relieve a little of its tension, and Steve could swear he heard her breathe again. And that was his small victory for the day.

 

 

Clint’s safe house reminded Steve about everything he wanted after the war was over. A big home, wife, kids, _a family._ For a lot of time he thought about settling down, but after he woke up in this new century all that seemed pointless.

Sitting at the bed he was going to try to get some sleep this night – in the room of Clint’s kids, that would sleep with their parents tonight -, he watched Thor silently sit on the bed at the other side of the room. Steve wanted to say something to his teammate, but he quite didn’t know exactly what. They usually talked about the battles, Jane or their friends. Traumatic visions and nightmares  wasn’t something they chat about, and Cap wasn’t willing to start it.

Without saying his goodbyes, the God of Thunder got up and moved to the door fast, and Steve followed him.

“Thor, where are you going?”

The tall blond talked without looking at him. “I had a revelation. I’m not going to figure anything out from-“  He looked around the small place. “here.”

Steve faced him in confusion.

“I can’t tell you right now. I’m sorry.” Taking a last look on Steve, Thor vanished through the hall. Steve looked down at the borrowed clothes he got from Barton and huffed, hearing the echo in his head: “We can go home, Steve.”

In that moment, he hated Wanda Maximoff like hell.

Moving to the kitchen, he passed through Natasha and Bruce’s bedroom, and they were so close Steve felt his stomach ache and burn. Dr. Banner moved away from her, without noticing Steve’s presence through the open door. He vanished from Cap’s vision as he heard a door closing inside their room. He stared at a alone Natasha looking at her own feet until she turned her head to him. Steve couldn’t tell what kind of look they shared in that moment –maybe an apologetic, or even anger- but it looked a lot like just… _sad_. Steve swallowed hard and looked away from her green eyes, getting out from her sight. The soldier thought her heard her mumble his name quietly, but could be only Peggy Carter still in his mind.

 

Steve couldn’t really sleep. He kept his eyes at the empty bed on the other side of the room until he could feel the slightest sight of sleep, but h couldn’t find one. He was so fucking tired, but his mind wouldn’t settle down for a second. He got up and left the room, passing through the closed door of Natasha’s bedroom with his stomach burning again. Getting himself a glass of water from the fridge, he moved to the front door, stopping when he sees Natasha’s back from the transparent door, she sitting at the small step in front of the house.

Steve slowly opened it and saw the spy’s head turn slightly to his side. It was dark outside, with just a light coming from Clint’s yard, but the green in her eyes was still visible.

“Hey.” He wasn’t sure if she could listen.

“Hi.” She did.

Steve slowly moved to her side and looked down. “Can I-?”

“Sure.”

Cap set down next to her on the step. The sky was dark and he could see all the possible stars from there. Natasha’s body relaxed on his side and he heard her let out a deep breath. They stayed like that for a while.

“I can’t sleep.” She spoke for the first time in minutes.

“Me too.”

The spy turned her head to him and smiled lightly. They stayed quiet for some time again, sometimes hearing Clint’s snoring or Tony’s coughing from their respective rooms. Nat took a deep breath again and Steve observed her.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” Steve said.

“What… Did you see?” She looked him in the eyes this time. Green met blue and Steve could only ask himself how could he spend a whole year without looking at those. He swallowed hard and looked to the sky again. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want it.”

“No, it’s okay.” He shrugged and took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on the dark view. “I saw Peggy… and Bucky, and everyone. All my friends were there, _and then gone_. I was alone. And it was so… cold. I can still hear her, and sometimes even see her. And then she’s gone like everyone else.”

“That sucks.” She was staring at him the whole time. “That really sucks…” She lowered her voice as she could feel the same pain he was feeling.

“Yeah.” This time Steve looked at her again and everything was a little better. Except for her. She looked as broken as he never seen her. “What did you see?” He said and Natasha huffed and shrugged, like Steve didn’t need to do this. “If you want to tell me.” He let out his genuine Captain America kind smile, the one that could make anyone tell him their deepest secrets.

He waited quietly until she was ready.

“In the Red Room, where I was trained… where I was raised. They had this Graduation Cerimony.” Steve was listening to her quietly, watching her hands squeeze each other. “They sterilize you. It’s efficient.” Natasha nodded, looking at him again, and Steve didn’t move a muscle. “Everything strange in my body, every… sickness, the serum kills it. So I can’t… _It’s efficient_.” She nodded again. “The one thing that can mean more than a mission. Makes everything easier… even killing.” Her eyes went back to the dark sight. “Do you still think Banner is the only monster on the team?”

“You’re not.” Steve shook his head as he spoke calmly. “You’re not a monster. And don’t say that again.” He could barely see her eyes but Steve evolved his left arm around her shoulder and let out a deep breath. The red head tensed a little, but it took her a couple seconds so she could release it and lay her head lightly on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” He heard Natasha’s really low voice and moved his right hand to cup her knee. They stayed in this position, hearing each other breathe calmly.

“And you’re not alone, you know.” She place her hand on top of his. “Not anymore.”

Steve smiled and nodded. Maybe that was true. And for the first time that night, the soldier could close his eyes without the ghosts of his past haunting him.

Steve woke up a couple hours late, the sky even darker now was the first thing he saw before feeling the weight of Natasha’s head on his shoulder. She was sleeping peacefully so the only thing Steve could listen was her really low snoring. Cap kept his arm on her back and moved his other one to the back of her knees, getting up and carrying Natasha with him. He moved slowly until he was in his room, placing the red head on the bed Thor was supposed to sleep this night. Steve thought he wouldn’t be back at least until morning.

Steve covered her (it was a particularly cold night) and moved to his bed on the other side of the room, feeling if softer than ever, until he drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo I thought I was over with this story but ends up I decided to continue it yay =)  
> this is how I thought Nat should have told her story... to Steve =)  
> leave your thoughts!!!


	10. Don't leave me

Natasha woke up early in the morning, happy to say that no bad memories were in her mind last night. She stretched out and turned on the bed, seeing Steve’s broad shoulders one bed away from her.

The spy got up and moved quietly to the door, meeting Clint leaving his own room. The archer raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

“What?” She raised one back. “ _No!_ God.”

“Thor’s in there, Tasha, for God’s sake.” He said playfully.

“Relax, nothing happened.” She smiled back. “And Thor’s not there since last night.” Natasha shrugged, walking to the kitchen with Clint following her close.

“Strange. But okay, I believe you. _Nothing happened._ ”

Nat didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not.

“I mean it. I slept on Thor’s bed and Steve slept on his.” She got herself a bottle of juice and set at the kitchen table.

“And why exactly didn’t you sleep on Dr. Banner’s room?” He frowned.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Good morning.” Stark entered.

“Right, Nat?” Clint passed through her.

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

 

 

Steve lost her only four hours after he woke up. Ultron took Natasha under his watch and there was nothing he could do about it. With the Maximoff twins on their side now, Steve went back to the Tower to help Clint on finding Nat and to put some sense on Tony’s head.

After Thor’s return and Vision’s weird birth, he and the rest of the team articulated their plan. With three new members, they had to get everyone out from Sokovia, find Natasha and bring the fight to only them.

“You look nervous.” The son of Odin was heard by Steve, while both of them were in the back of the jet, on their way to Sokovia.

“A have a bad feeling about this.” Cap watched as the clouds around the jet dissolved.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get Lady Natasha safe then we’ll end this like old times.” He gave him one of his bright and motivated smiles.

“Yeah.”

It hurt Steve to the guts but he sent Bruce to get Natasha out of Ultron’s hideout. He had to keep everything on their feet and Doctor Banner still refused to turn into the Hulk since his last incident, so Steve needed everyone ready.

 

 

Inside her improvised cage, Natasha started to hear a weird movement around the city and she was sure that her teammates were making everything they could to keep every civilian safe. She sensed someone getting closer and a low voice.

“Natasha?”

“Steve?” She asked quietly until the person could her in her view. Instead of Steve’s figure, she saw a relieved Bruce staring her through the cells bar. “Bruce!”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, just get me out of here.” Natasha got up and moved away from the gate so Bruce could bomb it with the unknown gun he was carrying.

Finally released, she moved around the place. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Run away.”

She turned to a smiling Bruce. “What?”

“I thought about what you said. And I’m sorry about snapping at you like that. I didn’t get it then, now I do.”

“Bruce… We can’t disappear tight now, how about the rest of the team? We’ll just-?”

They both were talking at the same time.

 “They know we won’t be in the fight-“

“What about Stark? He’ll want you here. Your help.”

“I just want-“

“What about Steve? And Clint? I can’t leave them. Not after everything they did for me.”

They stayed quiet for a while, and Natasha heard an intense movement from the outside. Bruce didn’t seem to mind it.

“You won’t turn green?”

“I have a good reason not to lose my calm.” He looked kind at her.

She moved closer until their lips were inches away, and when Banner closed his eyes she pushed him with all of her strength into the huge hole at the place. “I’m not like running away from a fight.”

He came back as the figure of the Hulk appeared in front of her.

“Let’s finish the job.”

 

The plan to get the people out of Sokovia have gone completely wrong when the city literally started to fly, thanks to Ultron. The accord was that Banner would take Natasha to a safe place since they didn’t know her state, but Steve haven’t heard from him for a while and that started to worry him.

Fighting a particularly insistent robot, Steve used his shield to dismember it until the blue light on his carcass faded away. Turning quickly after sensing something behind him, he noticed Natasha’s fiery hair behind a car.

“You’re here.”

“Oh, there you are.” She turned to him with a smile. “Thought you had given up the fight.”

“Well, you know me.” Steve got closer, jumping the hood of the car between them.

“I do.” She smiled again we he landed in front of her. Natasha got so close he could feel her small breath on his face. “And you know me too well to know that I wouldn’t leave.”

Steve placed a hand on her left cheek and the covered gently. Without a single word, the soldier said that he missed her and was so scared to lose her. “I know.” Natasha nodded, holding his pulse in her hand.

“I’m sorry to interrupt The Notebook couple, but we have a situation here!” They heard Clint’s voice and turned to him, seeing Wanda Maximoff on his side.

“Is that my jacket?” The red head noticed her red leather jacket perfectly fitting Wanda’s figure. The young girl looked at Steve as asking for help.

“She’s with us now.”

Natasha turned to him. “That still doesn’t explain the jacket, Rogers.” She raised an eyebrow at him before feeling Clint hold her arm gently.

“You’re okay?”

“Sure.” She half smiled at him.

“Clint, I need you to clean the west area, take her with you.” Steve pointed at the uncomfortable Wanda at the corner. “Meet me when we clear everything at the center.”

“Sure thing, Cap. Come on.” He drifted away with the Scarlet Witch following him close.

“What about us?” Natasha asked playfully, while the Captain analyzed his surroundings.

“You and me fight robots.”

“Like old times, nice.” She winked before running with Steve behind her.

 

An hour later, Stark came with the complicated news: they had to choose between everyone on the flying city and everyone back on the earth. It seemed like an easy choice to Natasha.

“I’m not leaving until everyone on the city is safe.”

“Everyone up here versus everyone down there? Steve, there’s no math.” The red head appeared on his side.

“I said I’m not leaving.”

“ _I didn’t say we should_.” She nodded, getting his attention. “Believe me, there are worse ways to go.” She looked back at the clouded view. “Where else would I get a view like these?”

Steve remembered the last view he had before falling in the ice and it was exactly like this one. A sky full of clouds, before he dived and died for the first time. He was sick of that view, sometimes he even had nightmares with it. He would rather look at Natasha instead. Yeah, that seemed like a good last view for him. Steve accepted the fact to die again and hoped that Natasha Romanoff would be the last thing he saw on earth.

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff.” They heard Nick Fury’s voice over their comms.

 

The team had only one hour left to put everyone in the escape jets before they would be without oxygen. Steve and Clint were responsible for one of the jets and Natasha and Pietro for the other.

“Cap, we have incoming on the northeast.” Stark’s voice appeared on the comms.

“Nat.” Steve called her, leaving Clint and Pietro in charge of the civilians.

Moving to the northeast side of the city, Steve and Natasha met a few robots on their way, finishing them with no further problems.

“In there.” She pointed at a small diner where she saw a little robot movement.

“They’re trying to hide. We can’t let any of them get away.” Steve hushed to the diner followed by Natasha. “Rhodes, make sure we don’t have any of these sneaky things on the sky.” He informed James Rhodes, the War Machine, through the communicators before entering the place.

Natasha quickly used one of her widow’s bite on one robot trying to leave through the back door. “Not so fast, dude.”

Steve walked quietly until he noticed one of the things under a table, decapitating it with his shield before it could run away.

“A huge magnet would be so useful.” Natasha said playfully before heading to the restrooms to look for any robot left, as Cap moved to the kitchen. Hearing Steve chuckle a little, she got one trying to get out through the bathroom window.

Everything was quiet before Natasha heart a jet overflying the diner and a huge explosion that led her to the floor and made her ears ache. The jet had shot through the place and Nat was lucky she was inside the ladies restroom. But that reminded her that Steve was back in the kitchen.

Getting up with difficulty and her ears buzzing, she moved slowly trying to pass through the wreckage on her way, sometimes hanging on anything she could lay her hand on.

“Steve?” Natasha tried first. “Where are you?”

The red head returned to the main room of the diner and she could barely recognize the place. It was wrecked. Her heart started to pound hard in her chest. “Steve? Steve?” She kept trying to make her way through the wreckage again.

Looking past the balcony, she could see the kitchen equally destroyed. And there he was, down next to a stove, hand on his stomach and eyes closed. “STEVE!”

With her head burning and heart fast, Natasha quickly jumped the balcony and the window to the kitchen. She ran to him and grabbed his left pulse, it was slow but it was still there.

“Cap’s down. I repeat, _Cap is down_. We need medical.” She shouted through her comms to the rest of the team or anyone that was listening to her, but no response was heard. Ultron got badly hit on the last battle but his last shot was to turn off all the communications of the Avengers. “Someone? WE NEED MEDICAL! I can’t get him out-“ Natasha shouted again, and her comms stayed silent.

“Hey. Wake up, wake up.” Natasha moved her hand to his chin and the other one to the bleeding hole on his stomach. “I need you to wake up, Stevie. I can’t do this alone.” She took off his helmet carefully and set her hand back on his abdomen. “Please. Steve!”

His eyes slowly opened up and focused on Natasha’s worried eyes. Steve tried to speak, but everything was hurting.

“Don’t talk.” She looked at her hand covered with Steve’s blood and shook her head. “We need to get you out of here. Stay with me, okay? We’ll get through this.”

Steve nodded without making any more effort.

“Okay, can you get up? I’ll help you.” Keeping her hand on his wound, Natasha got up and brought him laying his arm on her shoulders. “We’ll be okay, we just have to-“ Three robots broke through the window so fast she had to lean Steve on the balcony and shoot the goddamn intruders with one precisely move of her hands. One of the robots crawled to Steve’s feet, so the spy placed her foot on its back and launched another one of her widow’s bite.

They wanted to finish the job Ultron sent them to do, but that wouldn’t happen with her there. There were only a few of Ultron’s army, and she would disintegrate every last one of them.

“We’re good.” She went back to Steve and helped him to walk. “I need you to press it, okay?” Placing his hand on his bleeding wound, Natasha held him in one shoulder and with the other hand she had her pistol ready to fire at anything on their way. “You’re doing great, Cap.”

They moved forward until reached a bigger pile of wreckage that made them stop and Natasha have to think for a second. Their time was ending and soon the city would fall down the sky.

“You- you have to go.” Steve said, his voice tired and harsh while the red head looked around the room searching for a plan b. “Nat, you n-need to leave me.” She still didn’t pay attention to him. He was being stupid for even thinking about that.

Steve noticed she was ignoring him. “Natasha!”

“Shut up! I’m not leaving you, okay?!” She raised her voice and looked at him this time. Steve was so pale, covered in ashes and blood coming out of his mouth, but she wouldn’t leave him. He saved her reckless ass more times than she could count. “Just let me think.”

“The city will-“

“Screw it. I’m not leaving you.” Natasha looked around again, seeing a window large enough so she and Steve could sneak through it. “That’s our way out.” She half smiled and brought Steve to their escape window.

“I’ll go first. Here, lay here.” She leaned him on the wall next to the window. In one gracious move, Natasha jumped off and searched her surroundings in case of any surprising subordinate of Ultron. Seeing no movement, she picked Steve’s arm. “Come on, you just need to jump.”

Natasha helped him through it, while he jumped slowly and stood next to her feeling his chest fail. “Nat…”

“You’re okay, shh. Just a few more, I promise.” She held him on her shoulder again and kept her pistol at the left hand.

“Romanoff! Romanoff!” Tony’s voice came through her comms again.

“Stark! Steve’s hurt. He lost a lot of blood, I’m taking him to the jets-“

“What? You need to move, the place is going down in any minute! Get in one of those escape pods, _NOW_!”

“Okay, Cap, we need to run a bit, okay?” Natasha fastened her steps and brought Steve with her, his breath louder and eyes closing. “ _Don’t leave me._ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was inspired by this amazing fan art: http://gassada.deviantart.com/art/Trust-459450456 that made me really emotional cuz Nat would centainly do that <3
> 
> I'll probably post some more until the new years eve, but if anything happen and I won't be able to post, happy new years guys! I hope for a 2017 full of adventuries and happiness for all of you. xx
> 
> and don't forget, leave your thoughts! =)


	11. New Avengers

Natasha was able to see the last escape pod on the bridge and a worried Hawkeye looking for any sigh of her and Cap. “We’re almost there.” She felt the weight on her shoulder get heavier and heavier, Steve’s steps getting sloppier as he tried to hush with her. “Almost there, Stevie, stay with me, okay?”

Clint noticed her and ran towards them, helping carry Steve to the jet. As Natasha’s first foot stepped on the platform, she felt the ground on the other slip away. Hanging on Steve’s shoulder, she balanced and stepped fully on the platform, with a paramedic immediately hushing to her. “I’m okay, just get him.”

Clint held her arm when her body left Steve’s. Natasha felt so dizzy now she had to sit, Barton still holding her. Thank God for the adrenaline, she wouldn’t last a second out there without it.

“You’re okay?”

“Working on it.” She closed her eyes, everything spinning around her.

“He’ll be okay.” Clint smoothed her right arm. Someone handed him a bottle of water and he gave it to Natasha. “Drink it.”

She obeyed and drank it, looking around her and noticing a body laid on the floor next to her. Pietro Maximoff.

“Is he-“

“Yes.”

“Fuck.” She closed her eyes again. The Maximoff girl appeared on her mind. “How?”

“Ultron got in one of the jets and shot through the city.” Clint observed Pietro, shaking his head. “He was just a kid. And he fucking got me out of the crossfire.”

“It was the same jet that shot Steve.” She mumbled opening her eyes, facing Clint. He was devastated. “I’m so sorry.”

He nodded, looking at the body on the ground. “Yeah. _Me too_.”

 

Landing on the SHIELD helicarrier , Natasha stayed next to Steve’s stretcher escorting him with the paramedics. Before she could get to the infirmary, Fury got her by the arm.

“I need you to contact Banner, he’s in the jet Ultron stole and is using one of Stark’s stealth mode.” He looked at her. “You know I wouldn’t ask you if I really needed.”

Natasha nodded, feeling Steve’s hand slip away from hers. The paramedics had taken him. “Okay, boss.”

Moving to the panel, she contacted the ship. “Hey big guy. We did it, we finished the job. Now I need your help, we can’t track you on stealth mode-“

The connection was suddenly lost, Bruce had hung up on her. Maybe he didn’t want to be with her anymore, to run away together. Like Steve didn’t call her during their year apart, or when he openly said that he didn’t care if she would date Bruce. Or Matt, that she haven’t seen in five whole years. Matt-

She didn’t want to think about it anymore.

 

 

 

 

Two days later, Natasha walked around the new Avengers facility, passing through the huge glass wall and seeing Thor and Tony saying their goodbyes. She remembered Thor kissing her knuckles and saying “You look sad, Lady Natasha. I hope to see different the next time we meet.” and that made her smile to herself. Thor vanished through the Bifrost and Tony left in his fancy car.

She hoped next time she saw Thor she wouldn’t be this sad too.

Spending the last couple days thinking about her ability to push people away, she visited Steve a few times, just drinking her tea and playing Kings of Leon on her phone for him to hear it. He seemed to like it.

Staring at the incredibly blue and clean sky, Natasha heard heavy steps behind her.

“You’re going to stay there for the rest of the day or we are going to get to work?”

Natasha turned with a open smile at him. Steve understood this was the kind of Smiles of Natasha Romanoff that meant she was extremely happy to see him. The last time he saw that smile they were in the cemetery saying their goodbyes one year ago.

“You were discharged.”

“Well, I was getting bored without you there. And you know I can be persuasive.”

“You and your Captain America smile.”

He approached her, and Natasha could notice his steps still careful and slow.

“You’re really ready to get out of bed?”

“I’ll be fine.” He handed her a small tablet.

“Our new team, huh?” Natasha half smiled at the dispositive, reading Sam’s file. “I knew he would take it sooner or later.”

“They’re good. They’re not a team, though.” Steve shrugged, he and Nat walking to the training room side by side.

“We’ll beat them into shape.” She smiled at him, again that one that meant she was glad that he was there. That he didn’t leave.

“I guess we will.” Steve smiled back, entering the training room where their new recruits talked at the center.

Entering behind Steve, Natasha spotted Sam Wilson, James Rhodes and Vision. More at the corner of the room, she noticed Wanda Maximoff looking at her own hands.

Steve walked towards them, followed by the red head and placed himself beside Wanda, who lifted her head for the first time since she got into the facility.

“Avengers.”

Natasha moved to Wanda’s other side, noticing she held something in her hand. The brunette handed her jacket to her. “Sorry.”

Natasha half smiled at the leather. “You can keep it.” The girl stared at her. “Really. It suited you better anyway.”

“Thanks.” Her eyes were still swollen, but she smiled to the ground.

“Okay. When do we start this?” An excited Sam said next to Steve.

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo this was a small update for the new years  
> A new phase is coming to this fic and I'm really excited about it, I hope you guys enjoy it =)  
> and again, happy new year!!! see you in 2017 xx


	12. Dropping hints

It was six a.m. Sam Wilson, _aka_ Falcon, was making his morning run as usual at the running lane around the New Avengers facility, happy that he was alone with the breeze on his face. It was almost the end of the spring and the weather was pleasant enough for him.

Running with a smile on his face, he heard a weird sound behind him, making Sam turn slightly his head. Before he could even see where the noise was coming from, he saw a blurry _blue_ followed by a bright _red_ pass straight on his side. Turning forward again, Sam spotted Steve Rogers in his blue shirt and gray sweatpants, followed close by an all-black Natasha Romanoff, her now long and red hair flying behind her in a high ponytail.

“ _Goddammit._ ” He huffed, fastening his steps. In seconds later they both vanished at the corner of the facility. “Fuckers.”

Getting to the corner Steve and Natasha disappeared, Sam still couldn’t spot them again. Seconds passed and he heard steps again.

“Don’t-“

“On your left.” Cap passed at his side.

“On your right.” Natasha passed him at the other.

“On your front!” Sam saw a red light in front of him, and Wanda Maximoff appeared flying and landing, fastening her steps as soon as her feet touched the floor. Wearing a pink shirt and gray shorts, she looked over her shoulders at him and smiled playfully.

Sam hated all of them.

 

One year and a half has passed since the incident with Ultron. The Avengers had split up for good: Clint had retired, wanting to spend more time with his family now that was getting bigger with his and Laura’s new baby. Tony wanted to stay out of the spotlight for a long time after everything that happened in Sokovia. Thor went back to Asgard(he said that had a big battle coming up) and they haven’t heard from him since. And Bruce was still missing, sometimes leaving leads through the globe.

Steve and Natasha stayed in New York, with the task to train this new group of recruits. Sam Wilson was probably the hardest one to accept the offer, and Steve had to talk him through it a few more times than the others. James Rhodes took it easily, so as the Vision, both of them willing to become part of this new formation for the Avengers. And there’s Wanda Maximoff, who had lost everything in Sokovia after the battle, including her brother.

Wanda felt so bad for a long time, but now everything was a little in place, with her living at the facility in her own room. Things had first started bad with Steve and Natasha, since they were briefly enemies during her past alliance with Ultron, and besides her putting their worst nightmares clear in their heads, but they made their way through it. For the first time in a while, Wanda felt that she had someone to rely on again.

 

Steve, Wanda and Sam were at Josie’s, their regular bar for the past year. Natasha had showed it to them, and they made it a tradition for every Friday after work.

“So, Sam, how is the girl from the park?” Steve raised an eyebrow at his friend, earning a laugh from Wanda.

“Why the hell are you bringing this up again?” Sam set his beer at the table.

“Because you didn’t talk to her.”

“Oh, and you know this like a pro, right?” He raised an eyebrow back.

“Okay, _what?_ ” Wanda stared from Sam to Steve, that kept looking at each other like they had a secret. She narrowed her eyes, her lips forming a thin line.

“Nothing.” Steve said, swallowing his beer with difficulty.

She kept staring at them.

“You guys know that I can read minds, right?”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“She would.” Sam smiled behind his bottle to Steve.

Wanda promised herself to stay out of the heads of people that trusted her, and that included Steve and Natasha the most. Settling her drink on the table, she waved off at the soldier.

Watching her surroundings, Wanda spotted a fiery hair hushing graciously through the crowd. Natasha was wearing a black dress with sleeves till her elbow and her shoulders showing. “There she is.”

“I’m sorry.” Romanoff sat at the table with them and Steve handed her martini that was waiting for her. “Thank you.” She smiled at him and took a sip. “Jesus, what is wrong with those new agents? I literally had to stay two hours so they could get into a low security computer-“

“Nat, no one knows what you’re talking about.” Sam interrupted her.

“Shut up.” The red head grinned at him. “Let’s go to the pool table, I can’t wait to kick Steve’s ass again.”

“That was a tie.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Natasha got up and the rest of them followed her. “You and I get the drinks.” She pointed at Steve and moved to the bar, while Wanda and Sam settled the pool table for them.

“Tasha.” An old lady approached the couple behind the balcony. “What do you want, sweetie?”

“Hi, Josie.” She smiled, Steve next to her. “Three beers and a straight vodka.”

“Was that bad?” Steve asked after Josie moved to the fridge to set the drinks.

“I’m mentally exhausted.” She turned to him, passing her fingers through the soft material of his brown leather jacket that she adored very much. He could use that every day, she wouldn’t mind a bit. “How was your day?”

“Not much. Spent the day doing the paperwork for the last mission and training with Wanda. She’s doing a lot better. “

“Yeah, she’s a great kid when she’s not getting into our heads.” Natasha smiled seeing Wanda at the other side of the room. A group of women passed through them, giggling at Steve. Natasha smiled to herself. “Sometimes I forget how it is to get out there with you.”

“Shut up.”

She laughed and Josie brought their drinks. “There you go. And for the love of God, Tasha, stop frequenting _Hell’s Kitchen_ , you’re so much better than that.” Earning another laugh from the red head, Josie smiled back at her and turned to attend another costumer.

“Can’t promise you anything.” Natasha smiled, getting her vodka and Steve got the three beers, moving to Sam and Wanda. “Okay, ready to see Steve lose?”

“You mean _you_ lose” Steve got his billiard cue and handed Natasha and Wanda theirs. Sam got into position with his cue to start first.

“Let’s make this interesting: if you win, I swear I’ll stop getting into your apartment through the fire stairs.” She got a big sip from her vodka. “God knows that led us to some embarrassing moments.”

Wanda laughed and moved to position after Sam made his first move in the game. Steve pointed at Natasha, smiling. “ _Deal_.”

“ _Deal_.” She grinned at the soldier, passing through him with a mischievously stare to make her move after Wanda. With one gracious move of her hands, she sank three balls in a row. “Your move, Captain.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

One hour later, Steve had lost his bet and three others so they went back to their table, talking about people at work and enjoying their night.

“Hey cap.” Wanda tilted her head to the door, smiling behind her glass. “Look who’s over there.”

Natasha and Steve were with their backs turned to the door, so they turned their heads together. Sharon Carter had entered with a brunette friend on her side and they were talking lively. Agent 13 spotted Steve and waved at him. Cap felt Wanda’s feet kick his shin under the table.

“Go talk to her.”

Steve looked at Natasha, who had her head turned back at her martini.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him.

“She was the one Sam was dropping hints, right?” Wanda smiled innocently at them, like she had just discovered their secret.

“Yeah.”

“ _Totally_.” Sam kept staring at Steve.

Steve got up and moved to the other side of the bar, hands in his pockets.

Sam observed him while drinking his beer, noticing a very excited Wanda on his side and a quiet Natasha in front of him. The red head turned at the couple back there, taking a sip of her martini while doing it, and turned to Sam again, letting out a small smile that Sam was sure she was trying to keep it like a normal one. He knew better.

“So, who wants another round?” She got up, her glass empty again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, here's the first update of the year!  
> I'm sorry it took so long, yesterday was my birthday so I got a little busy  
> So don't forget, leave your thoughts! =)
> 
> *ps: yes, this Josie's is the same at the Daredevil's show xx


	13. Shot lost

“So, who wants another round?” She got up, her glass empty again.

“Not me.” Sam waved off, getting up from his seat. “Maybe we should go.”

“What? I wanna see it!” Wanda took a last sip of her drink but Sam interrupted it.

“You shouldn’t even been drinking, we’re going to get arrested.” He playfully said and Natasha laughed lightly.

“I’m twenty already.”

“Not in two months.”

“Shut up.”

“Let’s go.” Natasha got up with her purse on her shoulder. She got Wanda’s hand and pulled her up, despite her protests. They three moved to de door and got out.

Sam and Wanda lived in the facility in their own “apartments”, and Natasha’s apartment was only a couple miles away from it. They talked their way until they reached the New Avengers Facility.

“Bye, Nat.” Wanda touched the red head’s shoulder lightly and turned to Sam. “You coming?”

“In a minute.” He said and the brunette walked clumsy to the door. “Jesus.”

Natasha smiled at the scene and turned to Sam. “You have to admit it, _the girl is tough_.”

“Yeah.”

Time passed and Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re not getting in?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Out of nowhere, but yes, you can.” She laughed softly. “What is it?”

“Do you… care that Steve talks with other women in front of you?”

“What?”

“You heard me.” He raised an eyebrow back. “For a spy, you’re not good at hiding, aren’t you?”

She smiled. “Come on, I told him about Sharon. Why would I possibly not be okay with that?”

“Because now you care.”

“Sam!” She laughed, looking away from him. “No. _No, no, no_.” Natasha kept smiling at him. “Stop!”

“Okay, if you say so.” Sam shrugged, a grin still on his face.

“Now go away. To your dark room, where you make evil plans. And has a Captain America pedestal.” She waved off, turning her back to him.

“Good night, Nat!” He shouted playfully, making his way to the door.

“Night, asshole.”

Natasha walked fast to her apartment, only a few blocks away from the facility and right in front of Steve’s place. Arriving home, she hanged her purse  and took her shoes off, throwing them at the corner of the living room.

The red head moved to the fridge, getting herself a glass of water with her heart still pounding a little faster than normal in her chest. The last conversation of the evening had her head wrapped on it the whole way back home, and she could not stop thinking about Sam’s words. She shouldn’t care about Steve going out there, right? She encouraged him to do it ever since they first met, she told him about every single woman she knew from SHIELD, she made sure everything between them was going to be friendly after the Avengers split up. She shouldn’t care that Steve was doing exactly what she told him to do. That made her think about six months ago.

 

_-flashback-_

_Steve and Natasha were in the training room doing their usual sparring, while Rhodes practiced in a punching bag from distance and Wanda and Sam were out with Vision. It was a particularly quiet afternoon at the facility, no local tragedies or global threads for them to worry, so Cap and Nat were sparring for the past hour._

_In a gracious move, Natasha kicked Steve’s shin making him fall in one knee and involved her legs around his shoulders, bringing him down to the floor with her._

_“Not the leg again.” He mumbled with difficulty, her legs still tightened around his neck._

_“Your left shin is a weakness.” She smirked, loosing her legs and laying down next to Steve. She turned her head to him, his eyes still closed and breathing fast. “Imagine Hydra knowing this.”_

_“Captain America has a jumbled left shin.” He said half laughing._

_“It’s ridiculous, you have to admit it.” Natasha shrugged, laughing and getting up to get a bottle of water on a table next to them._

_“I’ll work on it.”_

_“Good. I’m tired of beating your ass.” She smiled at him and took a sip of her water. For a moment she got lost looking at his face from a distance so she shook her head lightly. “So, how’s Jennifer?”_

_“Oh my God.” Steve rolled his eyes exasperatedly._

_“The woman_ drools _all over you every time she sees you.”_

_“Can you stop?” He laughed, a hand covering his eyes._

_“Just trying to look out for you, buddy.”_

_He was still laughing when he got up. “Don’t call me_ buddy _. I feel like I’m in an eternal friendzone.”_

_“You are in the friendzone.” She grinned, throwing the bottle of water at him so he could take a sip._

_“_ Ouch. _” Steve faked a pain in the chest after her shot._

_Natasha took out her phone and started to use it, while Steve took a sip of water and watched her carefully. “Okay. You want to get me a date?”_

_“Yes.” She said without taking her eyes off the cellphone screen._

_“_ Go out with me then. _”_

_Natasha froze for a moment before staring back at him. “What?”_

_“What you’re doing Saturday?”_

_“Like a date?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Steve-“ She smiled, shaking her head while still looking at him, and he still had that fucking grin on his face. “No.”_

_“Outch.”_

_“No. I mean, we’re friends.” She shook her head again, setting her phone back at the table. “Of course,_ that happened _, but we’re just friends, right?”_

_Steve smiled to the ground and assented. “Right.”_

_“This won’t get weird, right?” Natasha looked back at him, smiling lightly and her heart aching._

_“No, no.” He brought his hands in defense. “We’re good.” He smiled back at her. “You’re right. Want to go for another round?”_

_“Sure.” She said after a few moments._

_That conversation stayed in her mind for at least two months._

 

 

 

Natasha wandered in her incredibly empty and clean living room, that talking with Steve a half year ago back on her mind for the first time in a while. And together with it, her talk with Sam.

She couldn’t be sad for Steve going out there just like she told him. That would make her a hypocrite, and she hated hypocrites.

The red head moved to parapet of her big window that had a perfect view of Steve’s apartment and sit on it, feeling stupid for waiting to find out if he was going to get home alone.

Maybe Sam was right, maybe she was mad that Steve was meeting women and going out and doing everything a single man can do. And that meant that she lost her shot of changing this six months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I was on vacation and I thought I was going to be able to post, but the internet was awful =(  
> I hope you guys are having a great week!  
> And dont forget to leave your thoughts!!! =)


	14. Recognition

Natasha got up and closed her curtains and turned her back to it. She was being stupid and juvenile. So what if he got home with someone? It wasn’t her business and it wasn’t her place to be mad about it.

Taking a deep breath, she moved slowly to her sofa and sit on it, her hands holding each other. She checked her surroundings, taking a long look in her centerpiece with the book Steve had given her a long time ago. Natasha quickly got up and moved back to her position, sitting at the corner of the parapet and watching carefully the door to Steve’s building and his dark window.

“ _Stupid_.” She mumbled to herself. The red head shook her head and closed the curtain again. “This is so wrong.” She tied her long hair in a high ponytail and got stuck between the curtains again. A few minutes passed while she wandered where Steve might be. Maybe they’re still talking back at Josie’s. Maybe they went to her house instead.

Cursing herself in russian, she started to draw little lines in the fog on the window trying to get whatever Steve Rogers was doing out of her head. Entertained on her fingers, she barely noticed the two burry figures at the corner of her sigh. Her breath stop for a moment like they could listen to her and Natasha observed quietly Steve and Sharon calmly cross the street. The couple talked lively until they stopped at the front of the buildings big glass door and the spy’s fingers almost crushed each other on the parapet of her window. Keeping her breathing still, she watched Steve kiss the blonde’s cheek and smile at her before she left with both hands in the pockets of her jacket. He watched his surroundings and opened the door, getting to his apartment alone and Natasha was able to release her breath that she didn’t know she was holding for so long.

“ _I’m so screwed_.”

 

 

The next day, Natasha got up after 3 hours of sleep only, taking a shower and putting a basic white shirt on and jeans. She then moved to the Avengers facility, getting herself a cup of coffee at the cafeteria in front of her building on her way. Passing through some SHIELD employees and greeting them, she moved to the main kitchen, finding Wanda drinking coffee and reading a book.

“Good morning.” Natasha mumbled, making Wanda lift her head and smile brightly at her.

“Morning, Tasha.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

Natasha turned to her, lifting an eyebrow back. “ _I’m great_.”

“Good morning, ladies.” Sam stepped into the room, sweating and hyperventilating, he had just came from his morning run.

“Morning.” Wanda said and Natasha remained silent, getting herself another cup of coffee. The brunette turned to her. “Where’s Cap? He usually arrives with you.”

Sam lifted an eyebrow at her. Natasha rolled her eyes, her mouth hidden behind her cup. “No idea. Not my business.” She said more to Sam than Wanda.

Wanda looked from Sam to Natasha, frowning before heading back to her book. Steve entered the kitchen five minutes later, sweating way less than Sam and a small smile on his face.

“Good morning.”  He said and everyone answered in unison.

A strange silence hovered between them so they continued their coffees and Sam started a briefly small talk with Steve about the baseball game last night. Natasha remained with her thoughts, sometimes watching the big window where she could see the yard out there or the way Wanda was concentrated in her book.

“Captain Rogers.” Natasha and Wanda lifted their head, seeing a content Sharon Carter pass through the door. The red head automatically rolled her eyes, stopping as soon as Wanda frowned to her. “You and your team are being called in the conference room 6.”

“Oh.” He said, putting his cup down. “Thanks, Agent 13.”

She assented and smiled briefly to Sam before leaving.

“We’re just his team now.” Natasha mumbled so only Wanda was able to hear. “Can you believe that? We’re literally here.”

“ _What is wrong with you today?_ ” She murmured back, closing her book carefully.

“What?” The red head turned to her.

“Uh-, girls.” Sam called, moving to the door.

“Let’s go.” Wanda placed her book under her arm and her cup of coffee on the sink. Natasha rolled her eyes again before getting up her seat. Steve stopped her when Wanda and Sam were out of sight.

“Hey.” He got her left arm gently. “I went to your apartment this morning so we could run, but you weren’t there.”

Natasha looked into his blue eyes for the first time that morning. She looked away as soon as she could. “Yeah. I left earlier today.”

“Earlier than 5 a.m.?” He smiled, his forehead frowned.

“Yeah.” She lied, swallowing hard. Shit. She was getting bad at lying at him. That shouldn’t happen, she had a reputation to watch over. Natasha looked back at him and smiled lightly, pulling her arm back to her side. “Let’s go.” She left, leaving him behind with an eyebrow lifted.

“Good morning, Avengers.” Vision showed up on their way when moving to the conference room.

“Morning, Vis.” Wanda smiled, walking beside him.

“Where’s Rhodes?” Sam asked.

“He’s already in the room.” Vision said with his half robotic voice.

“What you guys think it is?” Wanda turned her head to Natasha, Sam and Steve walking together behind her.

“Some action, I hope. It has been too quiet for some time now.” Natasha mumbled again, her eyes on her phone screen.

“Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing?” Steve grinned at her.

“No.” She and Sam answered quick.

“That means they’re taking time to plan.” She put her phone back in her pocked, facing Steve. “And that’s not good for us.”

“I just said no because I was getting bored.” Sam shrugged. “But you’re a genius.”

Steve laughed and they got to the Conference Room number 6, meeting James Rhodes already in his seat and at the very head of the table, Director Nick Fury.

“Oh, this can’t be good.” Natasha murmured. “Hello, boss.”

“Avengers.” He greeted, waving. “And yes, miss Romanoff, this is not good.” Fury pointed out at her, making clear that he could hear her.

They all sit at the table, Steve, Sam and Natasha in one side and Wanda, Rhodes and Vision on the other.

“So.” Fury got a pile of papers out of his suitcase. He threw a picture of a handsome man with brown hair and blue eyes on the middle of the table. “This is Eric Williams.”

“You need to be more specific than that, Nick.” Natasha narrowed her eyes at the photo.

The corner of his mouth lifted up a little. “HYDRA calls him _The Grim Reaper_.”

“Here we go.” Sam rolled his eyes, laying his elbows on the table while Steve listened carefully.

“The Grim Reaper?” Wanda asked.

“He’s brother of Simon Williams, owner of the William Innovations. As you know, an former concurrent of the Stark Industries.” Nick threw a picture of Eric’s brother on the table. “He was the golden boy, and his brother Eric was the completely opposite of it.

“Isn’t Simon in prison?” Natasha analyzed the picture then passed it to Steve beside her.

“Embezzlement of public money and fraud, yes. The competition with Stark got the guy crazy, I guess.” Sam said.

“Exactly. Eric tried to hit Stark a few times after his brother went to jail, but nothing big. It happens” He quietly put another picture on the table, this time a satellite photo from a big shed in the middle of Oslo, Norway.  “…that now it is.”

“Is that a-?”

“Brand new HYDRA facility just under our noses.”

“Great.” Steve mumbled next to Natasha, that made her observe him again. “How do we stop this?”

“I ask you, Captain.”

He threw the photo of Simon Williams back at the table. “What else do we know about Eric?”

“Not much, just that he’s in town. And that he’s not the head of this.”

“How so?” Rhodes asked, picking the shed picture.

“I’m not underestimating the guy, it’s just that-“

“It’s too much to come from him.” Natasha assented, staring at Steve. “What do you think?”

“I don’t think HYDRA would give him leadership so easily. It’s not him, he barely joined them.” He said back at her. Cap turned to Fury. “Do we have location?”

“No, but we know he frequents the Blindspot Club. A lot.”

“Isn’t that a strip club?” Sam said.

“He’s not very smart. Definitely he’s not the head of it.” Natasha said, Eric’s photo in her hands. “So, what do we do? Recognition of the place?”

“Yeah.” Steve said briefly, still thinking. “We’ll think about it.”

“Great. If you need me, you know where to find me.” Nick got up with his suitcase in one hand and a file in the other, he handed it to Steve. “Here’s everything we know about the case.”

Everything started getting up and moving to the door, Fury had already disappeared again. Steve was too quiet, still sitting at the table analyzing the files Fury just gave him. Natasha remained sit at his side.

“You’re okay?”

“Just have a strange feeling about this, that’s all.” He waved off, closing the file. “Let’s go, you and I have a lot to read.” Steve got up and Nat followed him, still observing if he was really okay.

 

 

The team passed through the day with no further interruptions. They had a lot of time to plan the recognition of the strip club Eric Williams attended so they spent their day training and doing their usual activities.

Later that evening, Steve and Natasha went to his apartment to read the files and make their strategies for the mission. Steve liked making the arrangements with her, Natasha usually thought like him and they had very similar strategies, one of the main reasons she was his second in command for the team. Besides it was good to have a company when you’re going to spend your night reading files and more files.

 

“Here.” Steve said, handing to Natasha a glass of wine while she was sitting on his living room floor, a bunch of papers surrounding her. He had put Kings of Leon low in his stereo and that made Natasha smile to herself.

“Thanks.” She picked her glass, taking a small sip and placing next to her. She felt Steve sit beside her and handed him a picture of Eric talking with a woman with red hair.

“What is this?” He asked picking the picture and setting his beer on the floor next to her glass.

“We never get her face, it’s weird.” She points at a few pictures, showing him.

“Do you think it’s a girlfriend or something? He frequents that strip club, maybe it’s a stripper he likes.” He said passing through more pictures.

“It was taken in Norway.”

Steve stared her playfully. “Do we have a suspect?”

She smiled, taking the pic from his hand. “I think we do.” Natasha got up and moved to the big board on the wall they usually used to organize their missions and placed the picture in one corner, marking with a red pen.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Steve frowned after she sit down next to him again and drank her wine.

“What?”

“I mean, they never had a new facility. It was always an old one, and they just reactivated it. Or buildings that already existed it. Now they build a new one.”

“Yeah.” She stared at the shed picture again. “It is weird. Maybe they want the attention.”

“Maybe they want the attention.” He smiled to himself, it was like she could read his mind. Steve observed again. “You went early last night.”

“You were too occupied to notice, I thought.” She smiled playfully, getting up to place the shed picture on the board and hearing Steve laugh softly.

“Of course I noticed.”

“It was late. Wanda drank a little too much so I didn’t want to go to jail for corrupting minors.” She came back to the floor grinning and earning another laugh from him.

“That was it?”

“Yep.” She assented, organizing the papers around them.

“Okay.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Next time tell me, so you don’t have to walk alone at 1 a.m.”

Natasha laughed. “I think I can handle it, Captain.”

“I know you can.” Steve shrugged, getting up to place Eric’s photo on the board. “You just don’t have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here it is guys, I hope you enjoy it!   
> I wrote a lot this days so I'll be able to update maybe tomorrow or thursday.  
> So don't forget to leave your thoughts! =)


	15. Preparation

"Okay." She smiled to his back, shaking her head and focusing back on the files. A slow melody started on the stereo that Natasha quickly recognized as Revelry by KoL. She smiled to herself again, eyes on the paper in her hands while singing it lowly. She passed to another page and saw Steve’s hand hovering in front of her, making the spy lift her head.

"What are you-"

"Come on." He laughed softly.

"No, no, no."

"You said I needed practice."

" _Not with me_!" She smiled, facing his eyes again. The lights of his living room made it seem even more blue than usual. Natasha rolled her eyes exasperatedly making the soldier laugh and got his hand.

Steve gently pulled her to him, hands on her back and waist while looking at her fiery hair. Natasha took some time to get used to their closeness, setting her hands on his broad shoulders.

"You're not going to step on me this time, are you?" She said playfully, not daring to face him.

"I'll try my best."

Natasha assented, looking into his eyes for one second before looking away. The song kept on and she laid her head on his shoulder, her arms interlaced behind his neck. She thought for a few moments that she could spend so much time like this, just enjoying his silence and slow heartbeat, steady breath on her hair and his hands on her lower back. And for another moment she thought she could get so used to this. To them. It was so great and so _unique_ ; she didn't want to miss a single moment of it. Her right hand moved to his hair without her even notice it, but Steve didn't complain a bit, lowering his head so his face could fit in the space between her head and shoulder.

Steve could sense that amazing smell she exhaled, the perfume of dry leafs and autumn breeze coming out of her hair. He wasn't even sure if she was wearing perfume. He just wanted to stay in that small place as long as he could.

The song ended, but he didn't let go of her. Natasha's heart skipped a bit, her hand stopped on his hair and her mouth suddenly felt drier than ever.

"You seem better at it." Natasha said, they both still laced into each other, not daring to move a muscle.

"I had a good teacher." She could feel him smile on her neck and that brought her shivers.

" _You did_." The spy smiled back, swallowing hard.

Another song started, this time not so slow, but they kept their embrace. Steve lift his head to face her, moving his hands up a little.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Her hands left the back of his hair, so she put them back on his shoulders, facing him.

"We've known each other for like what-? Three years, four?"

"Around that."

"We're friends, we're spending Saturday night reading files on my living room floor, so I can ask you things, right?"

"Yeah."

" _So. Banner_."

Natasha laughed softly, shaking her head, their bodies still moving around the room slowly, not really fitting the rhythm of the new song. "I don't know."

"Don't get me wrong. I like him. It's just-"

"I don't know." She interrupted him, their eyes locked. "It just made sense at the time. Maybe I was alone. And that comforted me."

Steve assented, half smiling. "I get it."

"So." She raised an eyebrow, not being able to look away from his blue eyes. "Tell me about Sharon."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Come on." Natasha mumbled playfully. "I saw it at the bar. Wanda saw it, Sam saw it."

Steve shook his head, looking away from her this time. "Honestly? I don't know."

" _Hey, that's my thing._ "

He laughed graciously, making her smile. "I really don't. She's nice and all, it's just..." He looked back at her again, his eyes attentive to the green in hers. "I don't know yet."

"Okay." Natasha assented, feeling his arms slip away from her and suddenly the world wasn't so great again.

"We should go back to work."

"We should."

 

 

 

Two days passed and the team had mapped the whole area around the Blindspot Club with the help of Sam and his little drone bird Redwing. They had everything figured out, except the part of how they were getting in.

"Here's the back door, maybe we should get into the club through it." Wanda pointed at the hologram of the area on the table.

"There's a door on the roof." Sam pointed. "Maybe we should go through the back and knock off anyone that tries to stop us." He waved off, spinning on his chair and earning a deadly glare from Natasha.

"We're playing stealth mode on this one, thank you very much."

"Exactly." Steve warned while handling the hologram map. "We also don't need everyone into the club, it will only bring attention and that's definitely not what we want.

"Maybe we should blend." Rhodes said next to Steve.

"Yes." Sam got up from his seat, pointing at the hologram. "We need to blend. We need _someone_ to get in before us and make the recognition of the inside." He looked at Natasha, that was sit quietly at the head of the table. " _Someone_ who is _good_ at it. Trained for it." He gestured again, expecting everyone to understand him. "What is better to attract a guy who enjoys watching pretty girls dance than a _pretty girl_?"

Wanda and Rhodes' heads turned to the quiet spy, and Vision followed them next. Steve frowned at Sam, shaking his head. " _No way._ "

"Why not? It's brilliant." Rhodes pointed out at the Falcon, who opened his arms with exasperation.

"We don't know anything about the inside. They could be prepared."

"Cap, it's a strip club." Wanda said at the other side of the table.

"It's still risky." Steve shook his head again.

"Steve." Natasha murmured on his side. "I can do it."

"I know you can."

"We've been worse." She grinned, adjusting herself on the chair. "I can get in a hour earlier. You and Sam can get in after. Rhodey and Wanda stay around the club in case we need a getaway. Vision stays in the base to pass us information. This can work."

Steve thought for a moment, all the faces turned to him expecting any reaction from their leader. He breathed hard, assenting. "Okay, this can work."

"Yes!" Sam celebrated with a hand in the air, making Wanda laugh.

"We'll going in this night, then. Sooner we know about who this guy works for, the better." Steve assented again, focusing on the hologram in front of him. "We have ten hours till it. _Get to work_.”

 

 

Later that evening, the team left in a car to the surroundings of the club. An hour earlier, they dropped Natasha at the back door. It was easy for her to get in, she was great at adapting to places and she was really persuasive, and Steve knew that, which left the Captain a little more relieved about their plan. He knew Sam and Natasha was right, she could totally handle it. She could even do it all by herself if he let her.

“This is going to work, right?” Wanda asked quietly, sitting on the passenger seat, next to Rhodes, who was driving. Steve and Sam were in the back, keeping their usual disguise with a cap and sunglasses. “It’s night, guys. _Seriously_.”

They both stared at each other and removed their sunglasses.

“She’s great at it, I’ve seen it. It’s going to work.” Sam assented a little nervous, checking his window.

“Rhodes, keep running de car while we’re in there. If we need an escape plan, Sam will contact you and you both go to the exit we tell you.” Steve said while searching in his pockets.

“Okay, Cap.”

“You’re going to need me?” Wanda asked sinking on her seat.

“Sorry, kid.” He put a hand on her left shoulder. “I guess you’re going to be in the background this time. But stay put, any change of plans we’ll tell you.” Steve smiled trying to cheer her up.

“Okay.”

“We gotta go.” Sam said after seeing his phone. “It’s Tasha. She says she sees him.”

“Moving.” Steve adjusted his hat and left the car discreetly, followed by Sam.

“Game on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's another update! can't wait for the mission and for you guys to read it haha  
> Hope you enjoy it!  
> Leave your thoughts! =)


	16. Blindspot Club

Steve and Sam moved to the front door, passing through security and a small inspection. Steve entered first, the sudden change of light making his eyes squeeze a little, while he tried to locate Natasha. The lights in the club were dark blue and a bit of red next to the stage were a few dancers were performing. It was a particularly crowded night, with only a few tables unoccupied, so it was a little difficult for them to move through the people. They both split up at the center of the huge room, Sam moving to a small table at the corner of the club and Steve to the poorly illuminated bar.

The soldier kept watching his surroundings, searching for any sight of Natasha's incredibly blonde channel wing and her big dark coat, with no success.

" _Where are u_ ", he texted.

Steve sit on one of the high benches at the bar, ordering a double whiskey to the bartender. He learned with Natasha that he needed to fit in the place he was going to spy on.

A few minutes passed and he managed to talk with the women that approached and flirted with him, and still no sign of Natasha came to him. Steve was starting to worry. Maybe they knew they would come. Maybe they got her and sent Sam that message.

A loud pop song entered his ears, and suddenly the ambient color changed to pink, but the stage remained red. Steve got up his seat and started moving again through the tables, looking for any white blonde hair on his way. Failing miserably, he sit at a table away from the stage, taking a good sip of his pure whiskey. A few more minutes passed, and he could already feel his heart pounding a little faster in his chest, despite the loud music.

Out of nowhere, Steve felt a warm hand laying on the back of his neck before the figure of a disguised Natasha Romanoff showed up and sit on his lap gently, involving her right arm over his shoulders, her side turned to his front.

The now-blond Nat was wearing a black strappy-bra and high waisted black panties, stilettos on her feet and a dark make-up on her flawless face. She had a white blonde wing on, eyebrows matching and a fucking grin on her face. Steve had to swallow hard before he could breathe.

"It took you a lot." She said not so loud, but he could still understand her.

"S-sorry."

"It's okay." She gently stroked his cheek with her finger. "Is Wanda and Rhodes outside?" Natasha got closer to his ear, making Steve almost squeeze on his seat. She was undercover, so he knew she had to pretend she was flirting with him, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Yeah." His hand stopped on her tight. He was following her lead like always. "They're ready for when we leave."

"Nice." She smiled, kissing the corner of his lips. "I had to take off my communicator. Sorry."

"I guess we'll be okay without it." His lips felt incredibly dry. The hand he had his whiskey in was grab gently by Natasha's hand, making him drink another sip.

"He's in the second table next to the stage. _Be discreet_." She passed her hands thought his hair, analyzing his face while Steve looked away from her and watched carefully the front of the stage.

Steve noticed the broad back covered with a fancy dark suit, a whiskey on his hand as well. "I see him."

"He has a room here. Third floor" She got closer to his mouth again, their noses slightly touching and sending him shivers. "Apparently he is living here. Maybe we should get in there."

"Bet we can find something about who is he working for." Steve's hand wandered on her waist while the other kept stroking her tight gently.

"Double bet." Natasha winked.

"And how are we going to do this?"

"Follow my lead." She inclined herself to him, getting close to his ear again and Steve felt she slip something into his pocket. "When you get the chance, put this into his drink."

"How in hell am I going to get this chance?" Steve shook his head, taking another sip of his whiskey.

"You'll know." Natasha kept a serious face and brought a hand to his chin. "Our friendship just went up in another level after this right here, right?"

" _Definitely._ " He said before feeling her warm body leaving his. The spy turned her head over her shoulder to look at him, bringing him that grin that only his Natasha could give.

Steve took the whole drink in and set at the table again, letting a lot of air out. That was rough. The soldier got up and moved to the bar again to fill his glass again. Finally with another double whiskey on hands, he moved back to the central room, looking for Sam. Spotting him at the table on the corner, he sit at a table next to his. Taking a look on his surroundings, Steve discreetly threw the small frask to Sam, that caught immediately.

A few minutes passed and no strange movements where seen until all the lights went out and were left just the red ones on the stage. Steve turned to Sam, gesturing for him that they would react soon. Maybe that was the sign Natasha told him about. But what exactly was this sign?

Before que could think any further, the music was back on and about 10 girls entered the stage and started to interact with the clients at the front. Squeezing his eyes, he recognized Natasha and her black two-piece, and suddenly he choked with his drink. She was there on the stage. At the pole dance. He turned to Sam, which was just as confused as him, despite finding it really funny. Steve looked back at the stage and there she was, moving graciously around the pole, spinning and hitting the floor every once in a while.

Trying to concentrate on anything that wasn't his partner in a lingerie dancing at the pole dance, Steve watched Eric Williams and noticed that he had fully attention on the blonde in a black lingerie too. Feeling a strange feeling in his stomach, he saw her approach Eric, leaving the pole to another girl. On her last step to get to him, she looked at Steve.

That was the sign.

Steve gestured to Sam, everyone was too entertained on the show that didn't notice they both getting close so they could talk.

"Put in his drink."

"How the hell am I doing this?"

They both spotted the waitresses at the same time.

"What's his table?" Sam asked.

"Number two."

"Got it." Steve heard him before he left his side and moved carefully to the kitchen.

Sam entered de kitchen discretely, everyone was in a rush so they didn't mind him there. Setting a glass over a tray, he served a double whiskey and slipped the liquid inside the little flask in it. Pickling the number two and putting it over the tray as well, he quickly moved to the exit and laid on a wall next to it, waiting for his plan to work.

At the other side of the room, Steve kept his eyes on Natasha, feeling his throat ache when she got off the stage and moved to Eric's lap graciously. A waitress appeared on his sight, she put a new full glass on Eric's table and vanished in the dark.

Natasha noticed the new drink and inclined over the man to reach it. His hands moved to her ass and Steve got up his seat.

"What are you doing?" Sam stopped him before he could walk.

Trying to focus on the mission, he noticed the spy making Eric drink his whole whiskey without blinking.

"She did it." Sam said with his arm still in front of Steve. Natasha left the man's lap as the song ended and all the other dancers went backstage. Steve breathed hard, taking Sam's arm out of his front. " _Feels better?_ "

"Shut up.”

“I will if you sit back.”

“Okay.” Steve mumbled, getting back on his seat and Sam sit on his side. “There.” He said pointing out at Eric talking with one of the waitresses.

“Bet he’s asking about her.” Sam rearranged himself uncomfortably on the chair, checking his surroundings. “What’s the plan?”

“No idea.”

“What?” He turned to Steve.

“She told me to follow her lead. He has a room here, third floor.” He shrugged, looking for any sigh of her blonde wing. “That would be easier if I could even see her.”

“Those guys weren’t there before.” Sam gestured with his head to the three security guards at the corner. “Maybe we should come back another day with a decent plan; we already know how it works here.”

“Her communicators are off.” Steve shook his head, noticing another couple of guards at the other corner. “And we’ll only leave with her.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Relax. She got it.”

A few minutes passed and Steve spotted Natasha getting out through the curtains next to the stage and walking towards Eric. She smiled and Eric grabbed her by the waist, leading her up the stairs, a couple of security guards following them up. Natasha looked over her shoulder to Steve, making him pat Sam on the arm.

“You stay down here.” He got up, adjusting his jacket. “Make sure no one go up those stairs.” Sam assented and he started walking, but stopped and returned to Sam. “And make sure to distract those guards down here so I can go to his room.”

“How am I-“

“You can do it, pal.” He left.

“I hate you both.” Sam mumbled.

 

Steve managed to go thought the stairs with no problems, Sam dealing with whatever he was dealing down there. Passing through two floors with no interruptions, he managed to the third calmly, keeping his steps low and breath steady. Getting to the hall of the third floor, he spotted one of the guards making rounds and the other one in front of a room that Steve guessed it was Eric William’s. He hid behind the wall until the first guard could cross the hall and Steve could knock him off.

Not giving time for the guard to react, Steve got him from his back and strangled him, keeping a hand on his mouth until he lost conscious and fall back. Steve carefully put him behind the wall so the other guard wouldn’t spot them. Steve had few minutes until he could notice something was wrong with his partner. He really wished his shield was there with him.

Seeing that the other guard had his back turned to Steve, he ran as fast as he could towards the security. Before he could turn to the soldier, Steve punched his right cheek hard and the guard fell off with no further reaction.

Afraid Eric could hear him through the door, Steve kept quiet for a while and tried to listen if Natasha was alright in there, but the music downstairs was still too loud. She told him to follow her lead, so he would wait for her instructions. But what if she needed him? If she was in danger?

Steve got up and stood in front of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy I loved writing this scene   
> hope you guys like it!  
> Don't forget to leave your thoughts so I can know if you guys are enjoying the fic =)


	17. Escape

Before his right foot could slam the door, Natasha's red hair reappeared when she opened the door.

"There you are." She smiled, half of her almost naked body outside the room.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to get in."

"Come in." He grabbed him by his hand and brought him in.

Steve entered the fancy room, a small kitchen  and a well decorated living room, followed by an open door that led to the bedroom with a big bed, where Eric was laying unconscious.

"I guess he's not okay."

"Poor him." Natasha made a face at him, getting into the room followed by Steve, who wasn't quite yet used to see her in those clothes. Natasha's blonde wig was laying on the floor while she tried to fix her long red hair quickly. "Lets see if we can find anything."

"Sure thing, boss." Steve assented, searching the place while Natasha did the same.

Five minutes later, they had nothing. Moving to the living room, they searched through the couch and the drawer of the desk, until Natasha found a laptop.

"Got it." She exclaimed, Steve's head emerging behind the couch.

"I'll keep looking." He moved back to the bedroom.

"We already looked there." She said, putting the laptop on the center piece and making her way in it. A few passwords were needed, but Natasha aced it and in a few minutes she had access to all his files. "Steve? You there?"

"I found something!" He shouted from the other room. Natasha kept her searching through the computer. "Ah- Nat. I think you'll want to see this."

"I'm busy, Rogers."

"Like, really."

Rolling her eyes, Natasha got up and moved to the entry of the room, already spotting Steve in front of a safe on the wall that used to have a painting covering it.

"You have my descriptive with you, right?"

"Yep." Taking the device out of his pocket, he placed it in front of the safe, where the numbers of the combination hovered over in a hologram form. The soldier repeated the same numbers and it opened in a click. Steve moved away from her view so Natasha could see a mount of dollar piles, tons of jewelry and files.

"Holy shit." She got closer, passing through Steve to have a better look at it.

"That's a lot of money." Steve murmured.

"You think they're paying him for something?" She frowned, analyzing the money in one hand.

"I don't get why." He looked over to the unconscious man on the bed. "The dude's a mess."

"He's not discreet. He doesn't lose track on buying things, he walks out in bright daylight, he spends thousands of money in strippers and prostitutes." She said, passing through a few bills. Steve got the files and set them on the bed, running his eyes through it quickly. "Anything on who's he working for?"

"Nothing." Steve shook his head. "There's a lot of paper, though."

"Put in a suitcase." She pointed at one in the open closet. "Let's get out of here."

"Okay." Steve assented, putting everything in his arms.

Before Natasha could close the door of the safe, she spotted a tiny device on the corner. Realizing it was a pen drive, she reached out to it. "This can be interesting." She put into her bra and closed the safe's door.

"Ready to go?" Steve turned to her.

"Ye-" Natasha affirmed before they heard heavy steps coming from the hall.

"They're in there!" They heard a voice thought the door.

"Eric's security guards." Natasha murmured, holding Steve's arm.

"Shit." They said in unison.

Natasha moved to the limp body laying on the bed and got Eric's gun from his jacket. "Get the suitcase."

"Got-" before he could finish they heard someone break thought the front door. Natasha shot one on the shoulder and another one in both legs.

"Get one of their guns. Let's go." She said moving out of the room, followed close by a now armed Steve who was still holding the suitcase.

"There were a lot of them. Be careful." He warned her while reloading the pistol.

"Okay." She assented, walking with Steve along the big hall, guns in hand. "Maybe they couldn't hear the shots because of the music."

"I'll tell Sam to meet us in the back."

Walking to the stairs, they managed to the second floor. That had to walk another long hall, that could possibly have people in it, to the stairs for the first floor, so they hid their weapons and kept warned. A couple passed through them, but were too occupied to pay any attention. Getting close to the other stair, a group of six people emerged through the steps. Following the group, two guards emerged as well. Natasha got Steve's hand and pressed him on the closest wall she found in a hall that crossed the main one. In a quick move, she put the suitcase behind his back and pressed him harder on the wall. Before Steve could protest, he felt her warm lips on his. Moving his hands to her hair and waist, he felt Natasha pressing herself further on him, her small hands wandering on his arms. It was a fast and equally desperate kiss, that had them breathing with difficulty after the group and the guards passed straight through them. They parted as fast as they kissed, staring each other until they breaths slowed.

"Public display of affection make people very uncomfortable." Steve said, taking his hand off her hair.

" _They do_." She assented before pulling him back to walk to the stairs again.

Arriving at the main room again, Natasha spotted Sam next to de bar, gesturing her head so Steve could see him too. Holding her hand with a little more strength than necessary, he brought her with him, until a guy gripped her arm in the middle of the room.

Steve let go of her and rushed to Sam, handling him the suitcase.

"Get out of here. Rhodes is in the back."

His friend assented and moved to the back door in fast steps.

Steve turned around, searching Natasha's fiery hair, she was still trapped with the troglodyte in the center of the room. She was trying to make him let go of her without ruining their cover, but he was gripping her arm and Steve called the mission over. In a quick move, he walked towards them and pulled the guy by the shoulder punching him as hard as he could. Everyone exclaimed in unison, and soon they weren't blended anymore, everyone was looking.

"What are you doing???" She mouthed.

"Lets go." Steve mumbled after seeing a couple of Eric's guards on the stairs, they had spotted them. "Now."

When they turned their backs to leave, the shots started. Steve put Natasha in front of him, as they rushed to the back door. He felt a bullet on his left shoulder, but that didn't stop him.

Natasha kicked through the door and they saw the car waiting for them, while the shots were still going. They ran towards the car and Natasha launched herself through the open door, Sam catching her into the car.

"What the hell?!!"

"Move!" Steve shouted, closing the door.

Rhodes got them out of there.

"What happened?!" Wanda turned to them from the front seat.

"Did they spot us?" Sam asked. "Was everything fine down there."

"It was before Steve punched a guy." Natasha were watching her surroundings. "Rhodey, there's a car following us." She said before two shots hit the car and they all had to low their heads.

"Shit!" Rhodes rushed through the traffic.

He managed to mislead the guards.

"Everything was under control." Natasha shook her head.

"Nothing was under control." Steve mumbled, trying to reach his own back.

"Fuck, _you're bleeding_!" Natasha’s fingers slightly touched his small bleeding wound.

“Are you okay?” Wanda turned to them.

“You got shot!”

“I’m fine!” He managed to get Natasha, Wanda and Sam’s hands off of him.

“We’ll see dr. Palmer when we get to the facillity.” Natasha murmured and Steve felt her small fingers lace in his. He assented, suddenly his back not hurting so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG  
> My computer broke, so it took sometime for me to get a new one =(  
> buttttt here it is!!!  
> share your thoughts please<3


	18. Stark's Charity Ball

Natasha and Sam helped Steve to get out of the car, despite his constant protests.

"I'm fine"

"We know, supersoldier. But we need to take a look at it." Natasha was gently holding his right arm. "I'll ask dr. Palmer to be gently, I promise." She let out a grin, making Cap roll his eyes and Sam chuckle.

"I can get it from here, Sam." The spy informed after they arrived the main hall of the facility.

"Keep us posted." Wanda said, making her way to the conference room. "I'll help Vis with the paperwork."

"Good girl." She kept her hold on Steve and they moved to the next hall, getting to the infirmary. "Hi, is dr. Palmer here?"

"I'm here!" She shouted from distance, a clipboard in hands and hair wrapped in a messy bun.

They rushed to her. "Outch, careful, Nat."

"I thought you said you were fine." 

"Funny."

"What happened?" She helped Natasha to sit him on the bed.

"He got shot. Again." 

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, yeah, you're fine, everybody knows that." Christine moved to the nearest table to get her supplies. "Shirt."

"Yes, ma'am." He said with difficulty as Natasha pulled his shirt from one arm then from another, Steve mumbling at her.

He felt dr. Palmer's cold fingers circle his wound and greeted his teeth, a small pain coming to his senses.

Steve watched Natasha sit quietly on the other bed, her small figure in his black leather jacket and heels on her feet. Her wig was gone, but the dark make up was still filling her features. She half smiled at him, feet hanging and bouncing at the edge of the bed. He smiled too before feeling a sharp pain on his back. "Outch!"

"You have two bullets in you, Rogers." He spotted her centered face while she removed one of the projectiles and held in a tweezers in front of him. He picked carefully between his fingers and Christine returned her attention to his back again.

"Two?" Natasha asked, lifting her head so she could see the small bullet Steve was holding.

"I promise I won't die."

She smiled.

Dr. Palmer observed them for a few seconds and smiled to herself, getting back to her work. With a few grunts from Steve, she removed the second bullet and started cleaning the wound.

"You should get some sleep." He said when Natasha got up and moved to his side, stroking his hair softly without even noticing as watching Christine patch him up. "I'm in good hands."

"Okay." She assented, quickly removing her hands when she noticed where they were. "Don't die." Natasha pointed at him and stepped away. "Bye, Christine."

"Bye, Tasha."

She turned, the leather jacked barely covering her legs.

“I want this jacket back tomorrow, Romanoff.”

“No you, don’t.” He saw her grin before she vanished through the door.

“What the hell is she wearing under that thing?” She asked, eyes still focused in cleaning Steve’s wound.

“You don’t want to know.”

Christine chuckled, throwing the bloody cotton on the small table behind her. “So.” She kept her eyes on him this time while maneging his stitches. “How did you end up here this evening?”

Steve laughed softly. “Recognition of the place. We may have something huge in our hands. Things got messy.” He shrugged. “He was going to shot her.”

Christine lifted her head. “Her.” She smiled without showing any teeth. “I see.”

“Anything to say, dr. Palmer?”

“Nothing.” She smiled again, watching his stitches carefully. “It’s just funny.”

“Funny?”

“You two are cute.” 

“I don’t think anyone ever mentioned Natasha as cute.”

She laughed. “I can see how much you care about her.”

“Of course I care. We’re... friends. She’s my best friend.”

“Okay.” She assented, finishing the last stitch. “I just don’t look at my friends like that.” The doctor grinned without looking at him. She put a bandage around the now stiched wound.

“Okay.” He shook his head, laughing. “How about you and your neuroscientist?”

“We’re... okay, I guess. His life is just.. Crazy right now. I’m trying to figure out if I fit in it.” She shrugged, handing Steve his shirt. “You’re okay, you’re not going to die.”

“Natasha will be happy about it.” Steve put his shirt back on, getting on his feet.

"Pretty sure she will."

"Dr. Palmer..."

"Okay, okay." She put her arms up in defense. "I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Thank you for the stitches." He smiled and moved to the door. "See ya."

"I hope you don't!" He heard her say when the door was closed.

 

 

The next morning, Steve woke up hearing knocks on his door. Getting up in slow and heavy steps, he saw Natasha standing in front of his door, blue shirt and shorts, a bag from Starbucks and a lot of papers under her arm.

"I brought breakfast. And paperwork." She raised the paper bag.

He opened up wider so she could pass and closed the door behind him.

"Good morning."

"You're feeling okay?" She put her stuff over Steve's table and moved to him, checking for any sign of injuries with her careful eyes.

"I'm great."

"Good." She smiled, eyes locked on his for longer time than necessary. "So, here-" she reached the bag and handed to him. "Croissants. And-" she reached out again. "Coffee. Pure and black."

"Thanks, Nat." He smiled softly, moving to the table followed by her.

Natasha sit with him and took a sip of her own coffee, sweet and with milk. 

"Anything we can use?" He asked after taking a bite of his croissant and Natasha started to look around through the papers.

"We have a name. Maybe." She said squeezing her eyes just a bit. "Sinthea."

"No last names?"

"No."

"'Cause everything is so easy, right?"

Natasha chuckled, closing the files. "That was all. I have nothing else."

"We'll figure something." He smoothed her, giving one of his croissants to her.

"So." She said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What?"

"Your birthday is coming."

"Don't you even-"

"Oh, come on!" She smiled brightly, pushing his shoulder. "You have to let me do it. You know what? Screw you, I'm throwing a party."

"Natasha-"

"You don't have a say in it."

"I don't have a say on my birthday?" He laughed.

"You don't." She handed him his coffee back and watched him carefully. "You're really okay?"

"Yeah." 

"Good." Their eyes stayed on each other for a little more time than necessary until Natasha got up. "I just came to check up on you. And to drop you this." She pointed at the files. "I unlocked the hard drive, so you can check it too." 

Steve got the small pen drive on his hand. "Thank you, Nat."

"Have fun." She smiled, placing a kiss on his left cheek bone. Natasha got close to his ear before leaving. "It's going to be an amazing party."

"Shut up."

 

 

Three days before Steve's birthday, the Avengers were invited for the Annual Stark Industries' Charity Ball, where they had the chance to see their teammates for the first time in a while.

Natasha entered the big hall a few minutes later than Steve, Wanda and Sam. She was wearing a tight long green dress, showing her bare back and a high neckline up her neck. He hair was loosen up in a bright red and she had it straightened, making it even more longer than usual, reaching her lower back.

"Looking good, Romanoff." She heard a raspy voice while crossing the hall, turning to see a smiling Clint Barton.

"Clint." She smiled before he involved her in a tight side hug. "I missed your sorry ass."

"I missed you too, Tasha."

"How are things at home? How is my chubby godson Nathaniel?"

"Everything is great. Laura misses you." He kept his arm around her shoulders while they walked towards Tony Stark.

"Hello, Red." Stark slightly raised his glass to her.

"Stark." She grinned. "Where's Pepper? She said she would be here."

"Preparing her speech, of course. I didn't receive my invitation for Capsicle's birthday party. I think it got misguided." She felt the sarcasm in his voice.

"I was going to call Pepper tomorrow, relax."

"Or maybe not." Clint smiled, letting go of Natasha's shoulders. Natasha excused herself and moved through the fancy people at the hall, looking for any sight of her other friends."

"Natasha!" She heard Wanda's voice over the slow music and spotted her along with Steve and Sam. Natasha made her way through the guests so she could get into their circle.

"Wow! You look great." Said Wanda in a black strapless dress and her hair wrapped in a pretty bun.

She saw Steve's eyes for the first time in the evening and they were all in her. He was wearing a full black suit and somehow that made his eyes even more blue than usual. Sam was next to him, looking good in a gray suit.

"You do." Sam said.

"Thanks. You guys are not bad yourselves."

An hour later, after Pepper's speech, the guests started dancing around the room in a sophisticated melody. Watching the couples from the bar, Natasha ordered a glass of champagne.

"Do you wanna dance?" She felt Steve's soft voice on her left side and turned to him.

"Aren't we doing this too much lately?" She grinned.

"Not yet."

Natasha smiled and took the hand he was offering, moving with him till close to the dance floor where other couples moved slowly as the beat of the song. She enlaced her arms around his neck and they naturally wrapped on each other, starting to move.

"You look..." it was like his words choked in his throat.

"You can say great." She smiled.

He laughed softly, shaking his head.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks. And you look very handsome, Rogers." Natasha touched the fabric of his suit and didn't dare to look into his eyes.

"Thank you." Steve searched for her emerald eyes, but she locked them on his neck.

 

"You know what?" Said Wanda in a distance, with Sam by her side. "They do look great together, right? Look at that."

Sam took a sip of his drink, laughing. "They do."

"You know, before I came in, didn't they ever have something more...?"

"Probably. But they're too stupid to let each other in."

"I ship it." She shrugged, taking a sip of her drink and Sam looked at her in confusion.

"You what?"

"Ship it. You know, think they're cute together."

"Okay. No more drinks for you."

 

"How is my _birthday_ going?" Steve asked after she spun back in his arms.

"You're going to love it. Even Stark is coming."

"Oh my god."

Natasha laughed, her arms back on his shoulders. Her eyes met his and she stayed like that for a while, noticing the small green melting with blue in his iris.

"Steve?"

They heard a voice coming from behind them and Natasha turned her head so see Sharon Carter in a tight beige dress with a low neckline that showed a beautiful gold necklace.

"Oh. Hey."

Natasha's hands lowered down his arms until she was no longer touching him. She felt his warm hands leave her bare back too.

"Hi, Sharon." Natasha fully turned to the blonde.

"I didn't know you'd be here."

"Stark invited me." She smiled, making her wavy hair shake a little.

"Nice." Steve agreed, assenting.

"Yeah."

An awkward silence hovered around them.

"So. I'm gonna go to the bar... champagne..." Natasha squeezed her own hands together.

"Cool."

"Yeah."

"Bye." She waved awkwardly and vanished through the people. After a few minutes, she appeared beside Wanda and Sam with a glass of champagne in hands.

"Hi there." Wanda said, smiling.

Sam frowned, watching the red head drink down her champagne in a roll. "You're okay?"

"Sure." She smiled, placing her glass on a tray a waiter was carrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave your thoughts! =)  
> I'm in school recess so I'll have time to write a little <3  
> xx


	19. Something Changed

At the night of July 3rd, Natasha and Wanda were wrapped in the facility, putting the last details of the decoration for Steve's birthday. They only had a couple hours until the guests would start arriving at the party and Sam was laying in the floor, filling balloons with all the air he had left.

"Sam. You are literally there for three hours. Natasha and I decorated 300 square meters while you choked with balloons." Wanda threw the American flag she was holding at him.

"Wanda." Natasha called up from the latter she was stepping on. "Kinda need that flag, remember?"

"Oh." She rushed with a move of her hands and brought the flag back. "There you go."

Sam got up from the floor and took a look around. "Nice job, ladies!"

Wanda and Natasha threw at him a death glare.

"Miss Natasha Romanoff?" A man entered the room with a clipboard on his hands. Another guy was behind him, holding a large box.

"It's me." She said up the latter.

"The cake."

"Oh, you can put in there. Sam, would you be useful and show him the kitchen."

"I'm on it. Gentlemen." Sam led the way, making Wanda roll her eyes.

After Natasha hung the last American flag, Wanda took a good look around them. "It looks great, Tasha."

"You think?" She got down to take a look herself.

"This is the best 98 year old birthday party ever."

Natasha smiled at her. "Thanks for the help. We should start to get ready." Natasha took another look around. "Where is the ice guy? I can't throw a party without ice." She vanished through the main door, with Wanda on her feet holding herself to not burst out in laughter.

 

 

"Hey man, come on. Everybody's waiting for you." Sam said out loud from the couch so Steve could hear.

"I'm ready." He appeared back in the living room, with a nice dark green button shirt rolled till his elbows and jeans, his hair perfectly messy.

They both got into the car and moved to the Avengers facility, where the party was already happening. Passing through the doors to the common hall, Steve spotted a lot (really a lot) of people at the room.

"Happy birthday!!!" They all said in unison while throwing confetti and blowing whistles. He noticed Rhodes, Wanda (with a funny USA tiara), Vision in a very patriotic suit, Maria Hill, Dr. Palmer, Clint (he even brought his wife), Pepper and even Tony, along with other dozens of colleagues from work. Steve smiled, making his way through the guests and receiving a lot of pats on his back.

"Thank you." He kept saying while trying to make it with his social skills. He kinda got used to this back at his tour as Captain America in the 40's. That didn't mean he was good at it. Steve just kept going making the possible to talk to everyone, until he finally reached the small circle of his teammates.

"Happy birthday, Cap!" Wanda launched herself on his arms, giving him a tight and shy hug.

"Thanks, kiddo." Steve patted her back gently.

"Cap." Clint shook his hands. "Happy birthday, man."

"Thanks. Laura, it's good to see you."

"It's good to go out sometimes." She smiled after he shook her hand too.

"How are the kids?"

"They're great. Just driving us a little crazy sometimes." Clint waved, making Steve chuckle. Sam handed him a beer. And another to Wanda.

"Steve." He heard a sweet voice behind him and turned to a smiling Pepper Potts involving him in a tight hug. "Happy birthday, dear."

"Thanks, Pepper."

"Capsicle! Happy 4th of July!" Tony had a huge hat with the American flag on it.

"Could you look more ridiculous." Rhodes said behind his glass.

"Shut up, Rhodey."

Steve was so happy that they all were there, but someone was missing.

"Wanda, where's Nat?"

"Probably yelling at someone." Said Sam bitterly.

"Shut up." Wanda scolded him, half smiling. "The last time I saw her she was at the balcony."

"Okay." He assented, making his way again through the crowd. Receiving a lot of 'happy birthdays' on his way to the balcony, Steve managed to arrive to his destination. The balcony was equally crowded, except it had a beautiful view from the night sky and the breeze was soft and comforting. He still couldn't see Natasha, but a soft hand touched his shoulder and he turned to Sharon Carter in a lovely flowery dress.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Hi, Sharon." Steve turned fully, hands on his pockets.

"Happy birthday."

"Thank you."

"You okay?" She asked, frowning.

"Yeah. Just not quite used to... _This_." He gestured to movement around him.

Sharon chuckled. "It is a big party. It's great, though." She watched her surroundings. "It has sushi."

Steve laughed. "I gotta find Natasha and thank her, have you seen her?"

"Not really."

"Um-" Steve watched his surroundings this time. "You want to go back in there? Stark has a ridiculous hat."

"Sure." She laughed and followed him inside.

"Agent 13!" Tony shouted when she and Steve appeared in the small circle. "What a lovely surprise."

 

 

They all chatted and drank together for the past hour while Steve still looked for Natasha through the party. Walking to the bar, he spotted a red glimpse before he could avoid to bump in her.

" _There you are!_ " He held her arms and she held his.

"I was looking for you, birthday boy." She had a glass of champagne in her hand and a sweet smile on her face. She was wearing a tight black dress until a little above her knees, her long hair was loosen up in her curls (that Steve particularly liked it better that way, but he wasn't going to say anything) and he noticed the small necklace with a sparkly star that he had gave her on her birthday.

"I was looking for you." He smiled.

"Well we were both looking for each other, then. How do you like your party, Captain?"

"Looks crazy. Thank you, Nat. You didn't have to."

"Of course I did." She smiled, playing with the fabric of his sleeve. "You still have to open your present, though."

"I still have presents?"

"Lots of it. It's in room 5. Even Stark gave you one."

Steve laughed, holding her hand. "I'll see it later. Now, you're dancing with me."

"Do I have to?"

"It is my birthday."

"Okay." She rolled her eyes, holding his hand.

For the first time since she met Steve, they danced to something that it wasn't slow, and for her surprise, he didn't go bad at all. Wanda joined them later, along with Sam and Vision (trying one of the robotics moves Wanda showed him).

One hour later, Steve and Natasha were at the bar getting a few drinks and talking, sitting at the high chairs. Steve thought for a moment that they never have been like this before. Of course, they _talked_. A lot. But this was different. Her eyes never left his, and it had a funny shiny look. She was smiling more, too, and it wasn't one of those Steve was already aware she was putting on a show. It was real, _it was Natasha's smile_. They were close, their shoulders were touching each other side to side but Steve still touched her knee everytime she laughed, without even noticing. And Natasha didn't mind a bit, laying her head on his shoulder everytime he said something funny. After four years, for Steve maybe that was the first time he was _seeing_ her. No layers this time. And for that, he kissed her forehead when she laid her head on his shoulder again.

"You haven't open your present yet." Natasha murmured, taking a sip of her drink. She was feeling a little dipsy, she had laughed a lot and drank like three apple cocktails with Steve.

"Let's do it." He got up, her hand in his.

"Yay!" She smiled, following him to room 5.

Opening the door to the room, Steve noticed a pile of presents on the table in front of the large couch. Room 5 was usually were the team reunited to, well, eat whatever they had ordered. Usually chinese. They really liked chinese. It was one of the rooms in the facility that actually looked like a part of a house. It had a nice and large brown couch, a TV hung on the wall, a big table at the corner with a small kitchen, and a dresser next to the door.

"That's mine." Natasha pointed at the big box next to the pile of presents, and Steve sit on the couch next to her. "I hope you like it." She set her drink on the center table.

Steve removed the seals to it and opened the box, spotting a really nice painting set. Utensils, paints, different brushes, it had everything. Steve smiled at it.

"I have a contact in France that helped me out. I don't really understand those _things_."

He saw that still had a brand new sketch book and the end of the box. "And you said your sketching book was getting to an end, so."

"Nat..."

"Do you like it?" He looked at her and she had this cute stare and her hands were tied to each other, expecting him to say anything.

" _I loved it._ "

She smiled.

"Really?"

"It's amazing. Thank you." He held her hand in one and the sketch book in the other. Steve noticed her small calligraphy at the bottom of the first page: ' _happy birthday, old man! hope you sketch my pretty face a lot of times. Love, nat_.' written in a thin black. He squeezed her hand, still smiling at the calligraphy.

"It's okay." She assented, smiling too. She was so glad he liked. She wanted him to feel at least 10% of what she felt when he gave her that necklace last year.

“You’re amazing.” He said with his eyes still on the sketch book and squeezing her hand one more time. Natasha smiled and squeezed it back, he let go of her hand and put the things back in the box, closing it.

She kept her eyes on him while Steve opened two little boxes from his pile of presents and she noticed she couldn’t stop smiling at the scene. And that made her heart skip a bit, like it never have before. She felt a warmth in her chest and it never felt so alive. It was a funny, strange and new feeling, but she was loving every minute of it.

He may have said that he was going to open the rest of the presents later, but she wasn’t sure. Natasha was still focused on the way he looked at that normal sketch book and squeezed her hand gently. Still focused at the strange feeling in her stomach even though she didn’t eat anything out of normal. Steve got up and brought her by the hand, leading her till the door when Natasha stopped him.

“Wait. I have another one.”

Steve turned, her small hand still tangled in his. “What?”

“Close your eyes.” Steve couldn’t quite understand her expression, but there was a small smile all over her face.

“Nat?”

“Do it.”

He did. Everything was dark, until he felt her warm lips on his. It wasn’t desperate and rushed like at the Blindspot, or fast like back on Sam’s guest room. It was simple, delicate and briefly, with their hands tied the whole time. Natasha slowly broke their kiss, but her mouth was still a few inches from his.

“ _Happy birthday._ ” She murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave your thoughts!!! =)


	20. One Last Shot

“ _Happy birthday._ ” She murmured.

Steve opened his eyes and her face was just an inch away, the emerald in her eyes more shiny than ever. He wasn't sure of what just happened, or how it happened. But it did, Natasha had just kissed him. And he didn't stop her, mostly because he didn't want to.

Steve didn't know if it was the beers and the three apple drinks that was doing their job (probably not because _who was he kidding?_ ), but he put his hand behind her neck and brought her lips to him again. Natasha wrapped her hands behind his waist and back, feeling her heart come to the summit of skipping and honestly feeling her legs a little trembling. Their tongues touched perfectly and she moved her hands to the collar of his shirt, grabbing it so desperately she was glad Steve was holding her still. Before she could apologize, he pressed her against the short dresser beside the door. Natasha felt like she really needed to breathe but wasn't willing to stop whatever was happening here. Steve seemed like he needed to take some air too so she was glad when he moved his mouth to the side of her neck for a few seconds.

With her hand on the back of his hair, she smiled at the feeling of his warm kisses on her collarbone, something she sure missed a lot since that night. Moving up with his kisses, Steve stopped face to face with her, foreheads and noses touching slightly, trying to decode her features, the music outside was loud and they could hear the voices and laughers of their colleagues.

Natasha stared back at him too, hands on the collar of his nice green shirt. He didn't have to decode anything, she wasn't playing a game. " _It's okay._ " She murmured, almost a whisper.

And he understood her. She wasn't playing a game.

"Okay."

Natasha pulled him back and unbuttoned a little of his shirt while Steve lifted her so she could sit comfortably on the dresser and  desperately moved back to making out with her. Natasha lifted her dress a bit and wrapped her legs around his waist bringing him closer while Steve held her thighs and touched every inch he could get. _God_ , he loved those legs even when it was choking him in the sparring room. Natasha smiled in their kiss and he joined her when felt her hands slip down to his ziper.

Maybe it was the adrenaline running through their veins at the thought that anyone could get in at any second, so they desperately entered in a small battle of who could take more of each other in a confusion of breaths, hands and lips. Steve quickly managed to pull her panties down with one of his hands, the other one holding her back still while he kept kissing her as long as he could. Natasha held herself on his broad shoulders and moving down his arms, that grabbed her waist strongly. Steve kissed her harder when he was fully into her and moved his hand down, her little moans trapped into their kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Natasha bit his lower lip, glad that there was a hall behind that door and the music was too loud so no one could hear them or the sound of that fucking dresser hamming against the wall. Holding herself harder on his arms, the sound of their climax got in his ears beautifully and Natasha laid her head on his shoulder, trying to find some air.

They spent a few moments in silence, just feeling their fast heartbeats slowing down a bit until their breaths became steady again. She lifted her head so their eyes were locked on each other again, and they smiled softly. Steve chuckled, shaking his head and giving her a small kiss before they heard high heels steps from the hall.

"Steve!" They hold their breaths for a few seconds. "It's cake time, come on!"

"Wanda." Natasha whispered and Steve assented, pulling the thin straps of her dress up to were they should be.

"I'm coming!" He shouted, adjusting his pants while Natasha laughed quietly, closing a few buttons of his shirt.

" _Yes you are._ "

"Shut up." He laughed along with her making sure Wanda's steps were now too far to be heard. "We should go."

"Definitely."

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" He asked when she got down from the dresser, adjusting her black dress and searching for her panties anywhere near.

"Right now? Nope." Natasha fixed her hair and her messy lipstick, finding her underwear near the couch. She put it into his pocket and smiled archly, fixing his hair a bit and taking a good look in everything. "Now let's go." She ou pushed him towards the door.

"Two minutes to midnight, guys!" They heard Sam's voice through the crowd, while everyone moved to the balcony to get a better view from the night sky. Following the flow, Steve and Natasha ended up at the balcony as well, while the other guests started an animated countdown.

"...5, 4, 3, 2, 1... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"HAPPY FORTH OF JULY!" Tony shouted, blowing whistles.

Wanda appeared through the people, a big cake in her hands with exactly 98 candles on it. Steve laughed hard at it.

"Make a wish!" He heard Wanda's voice over the others. A lot of fireworks could be seen over the night sky, a lot of white, red and blue too.

Steve assented, not really sure if he could ask for anything more. Taking a small look at a happy and clapping Natasha beside Wanda, he blowed his 98 candles.

 

A whole hour passed since midnight, since Steve blowed his candles. Since Natasha brought him out of room 5 with her. And since she started walking around the party avoiding any other contact with him.

She had screwed up everything. That shouldn't have happened, that wasn't something she had planned for this night, having sex with Steve in room 5 on his birthday party was definitely not in the plans. On a roll of five glasses of champagne and still counting, she laid against the wall near the bar, realizing a few seconds later that Sam was on her side. Keeping her head on the direction of the dance floor, she spotted Steve's large back and a smiling Sharon chatting with him. Natasha took another sip.

"Can I tell you something then you promise me that you will just hear me out and completely forget everything after I go?"

Sam turned to her, watching a very concentrated Natasha with her glass just a few inches from her mouth. Her hair was a little messy and her red lipstick was gone. he also spotted the scene where Sharon talked so close to Steve while she touched his arm everytime she had an excuse to do it.

"Um- _sure?_ "

She remained silent for a while, chewing her own botton lip. "I had sex with Steve like an hour ago and that was the stupidest decision I've ever made-" She said quickly, like she was holding that for so long she couldn't take it anymore. She saw Sharon whisperer something on his ear.

"You what-" He choked with his beer.

"That's not what we accorded, Wilson."

"Sorry."

"And I like him. _Fuck_. I think I like him. So I screwed up." She took a deep breath, still facing anything other than Sam. Taking her champagne fully, she placed the empty glass on the bar beside her and left in heavy steps, leaving a confused Sam behind.

"Didn't see that coming."

Natasha left the party thirty minutes later without talking to anyone. Alone in her dark room, after taking a long and thoughtful bath and trying to read any book, she felt her phone buzzing next to her.

 _'you left early. can we talk? I'm outside.'_ Steve's message was on her screen, the sudden light making her eyes squeeze. She did not want to deal with this right now. Setting the phone back to its place, she kept her eyes on the ceiling, trying to find any peace or any sleep for that rest of a night. A couple of hours later the sunlight passed through the curtains, and Steve haven't send any other message.

 

 

Steve spent the weekend at home. On Saturday night he called Sam, Wanda and Vision so they could hang out, sent a message to Nat so she could join them, but she didn't show up. Her curtains remained closed, despite Steve were able to spot her in her living room during Sunday morning, but she soon vanished away to somewhere after.

He didn't know exactly how to proceed after this. The last time they did it she just pretended nothing happened in the next morning, and of course, for a moment he thought that maybe what happened between them meant something, but they followed their ways and didn't saw each other for over a year. But this time was different, right? They were friends now, at least Steve thought they were, and she clearly declined him six months ago when he asked her on a date. Sometimes Natasha was really hard to read, or maybe he was missing something.

Sharon texted him Sunday night and they went to a pub next to his house. She was a really sweet girl, but Steve couldn’t quite figure her out yet. They spent most of their time talking about work and her friends, that she said she really wanted to introduce him to them sometime. Steve could swear he saw a glimpse of a red hair when he turned on his chair, but he just thought that maybe he was thinking about Natasha too much. They said their goodbyes and Sharon gave his usual kiss on the cheek. She clearly was waiting for something more.

 

 

On Monday, Natasha woke up grumpier than ever, getting herself a coffee on the way to the facility. To make everything better, she bumped into Steve and Sharon in the kitchen, the captain clearly settled his coffee on the table and managed to try to talk to the spy, but she said her ‘good morning’ and left without any further words. But that didn’t stop him either, and Natasha heard his fast steps following her to the training room.

“Hey you.” She turned to him and he had a small smile on his face. Natasha tried to match it.

“Hi.”

“You vanished. I texted you to invite you over on Saturday… Sam, Wanda and Vision were there.” He seemed… nervous? The last time she had saw him like that was maybe when they first met in the helicarrier.

“Yeah, I was… stuck with other things, it’s nothing.” Natasha said without looking into his eyes, a thing that he was consistently trying since they started this conversation.

“Oh.” He assented. “Look, can we talk? We have a few hours until the meeting.”

“ _Steve_...”

“We can’t exactly pretend that nothing happened, Natasha.”

“We could try.” She snapped quickly, facing him for a few seconds until she managed to look away again. She walked towards the punching bag, Steve still following her. Natasha seemed far, it was nothing like the night of his birthday.

“What are you doing?”

“Training.” Natasha said, adjusting her gloves.

“Natasha.”

She turned to him while trying to arrange her long hair in a ponytail. “I’m sorry, okay? That shouldn’t have happened.”

“That shouldn’t- _What_?” He remained there still, his arms glued on the sides of his body.

“I mean that… I was wrong in doing that… I shouldn’t have kissed you. And… _that too._ ”

“But you did.” She couldn’t quite figure his expression. Maybe anger with a bit of disappointment.

“And I’m sorry. We’re… _friends_. I don’t want to lose that.”

“ _Friends?!_ ” His voice was a little louder now, and Natasha was glad they had the training room for only them. “Friends don't spent their saturday nights together drinking wine and dancing and for God's sake, almost kissing! Friends don’t fucking make mind games or leave their panties in their pockets and certainly don’t have sex in the fucking room 5!”

“Steve…”

They stayed silent, Natasha being able to hear Steve's loud breath and see him looking for answers at any place of the room for what he just heard and said.

“Okay. _As you wish_.” He opened his arms. “You want me to fucking pretend that nothing happened? Okay. _Good training_.” He turned his back in heavy steps, leaving Natasha behind. “Meeting at 10, agent Romanoff.” His voice had returned to its normal tone, and he vanished through the door.

Natasha punched the bag as hard as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy, here's another chapter. I'll post another one very soon, so please leave your thoughts! =)
> 
> ps: i'm sorry


	21. Eric's ship

Later at the meeting, they found out a ship under the orders of Eric Williams, that they believed it would bring them to the real boss, Sinthea. Fury filled them on the next mission, where they would infiltrate the ship and bring everyone from HYDRA and find out everything about this new enemy.

Natasha spent most of the meeting quiet, earning a few confusion looks from Wanda while she kept her mouth shut where she usually wouldn't. Steve didn't bother to look at her, eyes focused on the holograms and the instructions wishing that reunion would end anytime soon.

Once the meeting was finished, he quickly excused himself and left the room, moving to the training room to find some peace at the punching bag.

"Cap is weird today." Natasha heard Wanda murmur to Sam next to her.

"Yeah. I wonder what it is." He stared Natasha for a few seconds, expecting she would give him any explanation.

"He'll be fine." Natasha murmured, leaving the room as well.

 

 

She spent her day at the running field outside the facility, when Sam interrupted her yoga training.

"Can I talk to you?" She saw his feet only while on position. Natasha didn't bother to look at him and kept her movements.

"Sure, Wilson."

"Look..." He started, frowning in confusion and then sitting in front of her. "I know this wasn't our deal, but-"

"Oh, it was definitely not what we accorded, Sam." She breathed out hard.

"I know. And I know I promised I wouldn't say anything, but I noticed you two kinda... Distant."

" _Well-observed._ "

"I'm trying to help you here."

Natasha breathed out again and stopped her training, sitting in front of Sam. "I'm sorry, that was rude." Her hair was wrapped in a messy bun and her cheeks were flushed like she was holding her breath for long.

"Do you want me to talk to him? Sometimes he can be very-"

"It's not his fault." She waved it off. "And please don't." Natasha spotted his centured face. "We'll be fine. Soon he will forget how stupid I was and everything is going to be normal again." She assented and Sam frowned again.

"You can't really believe that."

"No." She smiled sadly. "But I can hope." She started drawning imaginary figures on the grass. "Just give him some space."

"If you say so..." Sam got up and stated at the quiet red head. "If you need to talk... You can talk to me. He's not your only friend here." He smiled fondly.

"Thank you, Sam. But I'll be okay." Natasha assented, getting up as well and gathering her things. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She stuffed her yoga mat under her arm.

"Okay, Tasha." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched her leave to the locker room kicking a few grass on her way.

 

One week has passed since Steve promised Natasha he was pretend that nothing ever happened between them and it was probably the hardest thing he ever done in a while. Probably since he had to fight his best friend who had been brainwashed and didn't recognize him, but that's the only thing that top it. Of course, they were polite to each other, said their good mornings and good nights but that was it. They stayed in the same room -along with the other Avengers - and that was their ultimate contact during the day, maybe a word or two, but they never looked at each other in the eye since their " _fight_ ".

Natasha was glad Wanda was spending more time with her than usual, but she still felt lonelier than ever once she stepped home. With a perfect view from Steve's apartment, she sometimes caught herself watching if he was getting home okay, or if decided to arrive late.

At the same time, Agent 13 seemed to spend more time than ever in the common rooms, something she usually wasn't so present, only when someone sent her to give them some info. Natasha quietly noticed her trying to chat with Steve at every chance she had or ask him to a coffee even though he always said he had things to do. Sometimes it was hard to watch their conversation without Wanda's curious eyes hovering over her. She would always ask ' _you okay, Tasha?_ ' when the red head seemed a little too far while staring at Steve and Sharon. Natasha didn't know how much she could handle of that situation without going crazy or screaming on Steve's face.

"Tasha. Hey." Wanda snapped her fingers in front of of Natasha, waking her up from her little trance.

"Oh, sorry." She recovered her posture, turning her head to the brunette. "You were saying?"

"Are you really okay? You've been weird lately." She frowned, taking a sip of her coffee. "And honestly, so as Cap. You guys didn't have a fight, did you?" Her face turned worried. The last thing she wanted was to their little group to follow apart.

"No, it's just... We're not spending much time together anymore, that's all." Natasha waved off. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay..." She said a bit unsure, but setting her coffee back on the table. "So, Josie's. Tonight. You're coming, right?

“Um... Sure?” Natasha frowned, searching through a few papers of the mission she secretly got from Steve’s desk earlier.

“Even Sharon is coming.” The red head spotted Wanda watching her own nails and changing its color to red.

“How the hell did you learn to do that?”

“I just have to focus on how much time I would spend doing my nails.” She smiled proudly to herself.

Natasha shook her head, setting the papers down. “You said Sharon was going too?”

“Oh. Yeah, Steve asked me earlier if it was okay.”

“And you said?”

“That it was fine?” She looked at her in confusion. “Even though I don’t get it why would she want to go out with us since she only cares about _Steeeeve_.” Wanda rolled her eyes, chuckling a little until she stared at a quiet Natasha and suddenly everything made sense while a strange blue _aura_ hovered over Natasha that only Wanda could actually see. “ _Oh_.”

“What?”

“Sorry, sometimes your mind talks _too loud_.”

“Wanda!”

“You like him!”

“Shut up!” The red head cupped Wanda’s mouth with one hand.

 _“I can’tbelievethisss!”_ She tried to speak under her hand.

“No, I don’t.” Natasha woited until Wanda stopped talking under her hand.

“Tasha!” She exasparated in a murmur. “Now I get it!”

“How do you even do that?!” The spy covered her face in her hands, leaning her elbows on the table.

“Sorry, I never noticed it before. But your mind practically screamed this time, I couldn’t block it.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Natasha said behind her hands.

“You want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, finally looking at Wanda again. “I just want to forget it. Ugh, anyway I have to read these stupid paperwork for tonight.”

“And that’s entirely why you’re not going out with us.” She threw a meaningful look at her.

“Yes.”

“Ladies.” Vision appeared through the wall, making Wanda jump a little.

“Jesus.”

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

“Nothing.” Natasha got up and stuffed the paperwork under her arm. “Bye, Wanda. Vision.” She passed straight to him without leaving any chance to Wanda follow her.

 

On saturnday Natasha woke up with the sound of her pager buzzing over her bed. Feeling a little more sleepy than usual, she got it and watched Steve’s name on it. That couldn’t be good. Sitting up fast, she oppened the message: ‘ _extraction plan in advance. facillity in tem minutes.'_. Frowing, Natasha rushed to take a shower and stuff some coffee in her system, being in the Avengers facillity in exactly eleven minutes.

“Hey.” Sam greeted her, passing fast to the locker rooms with his suit in the bag. “We got an early call. Going in the Eric’s ship now.” He said before disappearing into the door.

Natasha rushed again to put on her catsuit, placing her gaunlets and guns in their place. Within five minutes, she was outside the locker rooms, spotting Steve’s back once she was out. He was already in his dark suit, the one Natasha specially liked a bit more. An awkward silence hovered over them, and Natasha cleared her throat.

“You sent me a message. I guess we’re having _progress_.”

Steve turned his head to her, a small smile filling his features. “We still work together, Natasha.”

“Yeah.” She assented, leaning against the wall and keeping her arms crossed over her chest. “Still.”

“Did you read the paperwork?” He asked, his back turned to her again.

“You didn’t exactly give me.”

And then there was that damn smile on his face again, while adjusting his gloves. “But you got it anyway.”

“Busted.” She smiled to herselft while staring at his broad shoulders. “You could at least look at me sometimes.”

She saw his shoulders elevate a little as he took a deep breath, and turned to her for the first time in a while. His hair was still perfectly messy and apparently he didn’t have the time to shave this morning. She couldn’t quite figure his expression and that’s something he was getting good at lately. “Good?”

“ _Good_.” Natasha smiled softly.

“We’re ready.” Sam and Wanda got out of the locker rooms, stopping awkwardly at seeing them. “Oh.”

“Let’s go.” Steve stepped firm and they moved along him. “You’ll pilot.” His head turned slightly to Natasha’s side.

“We don’t have backup?” Sam asked, setting his glasses.

“We have another jet with Hill, Agent 13 and a couple of pilots, but over that, we’re on our own.” Steve answered as they stepped into the jet, Natasha moving to the control pannel to set her things. “Rhodes and Sam will be our air supports, he’s coming from DC in his suit. Me, Wanda and Natasha get into the ship, find Eric, collect the HYDRA agents and get out of there. Nothing more.” He looked specifically at the red head.

“What?” She asked with a malicious smile. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Good. This ship leaves today and it’s our chance to find something about this Sinthea. Now get ready.” He turned to his team.

 

Arriving at their destination and standing above the clouds, Sam got out of the jet to overfly the area along with Rhodes to give Steve a mapping of the ship.

“Wanda.” He called the brunette, that was quietly at the window of the jet. “Now.”

Wanda assented, suddenly the red flares getting out of her hands and involving the jet, making it invisible at anyone from the outside.

“Good, kid.” Steve smiled, taking a look outside as Natasha lowered the jet so they could get near the ship. “Sam, do you see anything?”

“I’m sending you the mapping.” He said over the comms and a hollogram appeared at the center of the jet of the inside of Eric’s ship.

Natasha placed the jet at the back of the ship, in a high so they could easily step in the vessel. “We’re ready to get in.” She got up her seat, setting her guns on her hips one more time and turning to Wanda. “It’s okay for you?”

“I can handle it.” The flares were still all over the jet and only them could see it.

“Okay. Let’s go.” Steve got a hold of his shield and they followed him, with Wanda helping them to land on the ship. “Now remember, we don’t want to bring attention.”

“I’ll go to the office. Wanda, stay with him.”

She assented, following Steve while Natasha moved to the opposite side, having to knock a HYDRA agent down quietly.

“ _Be careful._ ” She heard Steve’s voice over her comms.

“ _You too._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if you're ready for the next chapter :p  
> don't forget to leave your thoughts!!! =)  
> see you soon xx


	22. You hurt me

Steve moved forward with Wanda behind him, making sure to hit the agents with her powers before they could even notice their presences. Knocking one on the chin, Cap followed the coordinates to the other side of the ship and sent Wanda on her own to the west side.  
"Call me if something comes up." He said after they went their separate ways."  
"On it."  
Silently moving through the platform, he noticed two agents talking on the other one above him. In one efficient jump, he hanged on the bars and with another move he landed between them. Before any further reactions, Steve knocked their heads together, their bodies falling unconscious on the ground.  
"Sorry, guys." Moving forward, he threw his shield on another clueless agent. " _Romanoff, any news?_ " He spoke over the comms.  
"Is it Romanoff now?" Steve could practically see her grin at him if he tried hard. " _You really hurt my feelings, Rogers._ "  
He shook his head after throwing his shield again. "Is this _sarcasm_ you trying to make some progress?"  
" _Oh, I know you miss me. Wait a minute-_ " He heard steps and a few grunts from Natasha, the sound of two limb bodies hitting the ground right after. " _I'm back. Where were we?_ "  
"Find Eric. Nothing more. Do not fire the alarms, that's the last thing we want."  
He heard her breathe hard over his comms. " _Sure thing, Cap. Not even a little searching through the computers_?"  
"Natasha-"  
" _Got it. I'll be a good girl. No digging._ "  
He didn't answer her, rushing at Wanda after seeing her long red jacket cross the hall in front of him. She smiled relieved after noticing his presence. "Any problems?"  
"Not at all. Sam says we have a few agents down the offices. Natasha can take them down and we can finish this sooner."  
"Good." Steve assented, checking his surroundings unsure.  
"Maybe you would feel better if you went to help her down there." She frowned and Steve turned to her a little surprised . "Sorry-"  
"It's okay. She's going to be fine."  
"Yeah." Wanda assented, checking her surroundings as well. "Um- I'll check the east side one more time."  
"Good idea." Steve followed her.  
They found five more HYDRA agents, dropping them down without any complications.  
"Sam, get ready to call for the back up."  
" _Okay, Cap. They're only a mile away_."  
" _Um- Steve?_ " He heard Natasha's voice over his comms.  
"I'm listening."  
" _There's a safe. No sign of Eric yet, but there's a safe in his office_."  
"I told you, find Eric and bring him to me."  
" _But we can_ -"  
"Natasha-"  
"Can you just-"  
"Romanoff!"  
" _Um- guys_!" They heard Sam's voice. "We're all listening to you."  
" _Fine. I'll keep looking_." Natasha breathed out again, finishing their brief talk. He didn't heard of her for the next ten minutes.

Natasha spent the last ten minutes knocking a little heads and searching for any sign of Eric Williams on the down part of the ship. That thing didn't look that big from the outside, and they were starting to run out of time until someone noticed something was wrong.  
Heading to a part of the ship that contained a lot of huge tubes that she figured it was fuel, she gave up and moved back to the offices. Crossing the main hall, a hand grabbed her neck and launched her to the next wall, making her head a little dizzy.  
"Who the hell sent you?" A HYDRA agent had the hold of her, making her lungs start to hurt.  
Knocking her knee on his stomach and earning a huge grunt from the man, she managed to get rid of his hands and kick his head, his limp body dropping unconscious on the floor. " _Asshole_." She rubbed her own throat, getting her air back.  
Feeling her pager buzz in her pocket, she picked it to see a message from Steve: 'change of plans, we need data. check the safes and computers.'  
Natasha frowned, setting her pager back. Maybe that was a little weird from him, specially since Steve is too stubborn we he thinks he's acting right. Moving back to Eric's office, she opened his computer and placed her small drive she always carried with her, letting the device do its thing while she moved to the safe on the other side of the room. Picking up her descriptive, she managed to open the big metal door and picked the small drive and a photo of a red headed woman. Natasha placed it in her pockets and before she could head back to the computer, a huge explosion emerged from the room with the fuels.

"How long do you think-" Before Wanda could finish it, they felt the floor beyond them shake and they could hear the huge explosion down there.  
"What the hell!" Sam shouted over the comms.  
"Natasha." Was the only thing Steve could say before they heard other explosion, this time louder than the other, and the east side of the ship exploded together, throwing Wanda and Steve to their side.  
Steve lifted his head with difficulty, seeing Wanda laid next to him.  
"You're okay???" She asked getting up, her hair and face with a little dust, so as Steve.  
She helped him to get up and he assented, supporting his hands over his knees.  
" _I guess that's the time we get the backups, right?_ " Sam watched the scene from above, the ship covered with grey smoke and flames, the two figures of Steve and Wanda standing next to the east area.  
"Now." Steve answered, shaking his head to come back to his senses. Natasha was down there. What the hell. "No..."  
Still staring at the huge flames, he didn't spot the three HYDRA agents on their left side with their guns pointed at him and Wanda. They fired with all they got, but Wanda projected a red shield around she and Steve before they could get hit.  
"Steve!"  
"What the-" He threw his shield in one bold move, knocking two agents and Wanda threw the other one at the ocean with a move of her hands.  
"Cap, I see at least a dozen of agents coming at you. And they're not friendly!" He heard Rhodes voice. "Should we come in?"  
"Fuck..." Steve shook his head, noticing his left arm bleeding and his plan going down the flush. "Come in."  
Ascending from the sky, he saw Rhodes and Sam shooting at everything they could lay their eyes on.  
Steve moved through the wrecks of the ship, trying to move to the stairs that led to the down part of the ship, but there was a huge hole between them.  
"What are you doing?" Wanda shouted.  
"Natasha..." He shook his head, looking for any way through that mess. "She's down there..."  
"Steve-"  
"Natasha!" He spoke through his comms, one hand over his ear. "Answer me! Where are you?!"  
No sound came to his ears except another explosion down at the fuels room.  
Wanda watched him put his head between his hands, taking a deep breath and trying to think straight. A burning came to her throat at the thought of Natasha too.  
"Come on..." He hit the bars that held the life saver boats. "Come on! Nat... Nat, talk to me."  
There was no response.  
"Sam! Do you have eyes on Tasha?" Wanda shouted over her comms, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder while he leaned against the bars with his head down.  
_"What?! She's down there? The place is wrecked_!"  
"Sam... Please! Any vitals?"  
Sam flew over the shio just above where the stairs led to the down part and pressed his glasses harder. " _There are two vitals. I see two vitals_."  
"It's gotta be her." She said and Steve lifted his head, his eyes redder than she's ever seen of him.

Natasha didn't know how long she was blacked out after that explosion, maybe seconds, minutes, hours. The first thing she saw was Eric's face right in front of hers, his curious eyes watching her features while she lied on the floor.  
"It's you..."  
With her head hurting like hell, she tried to get up, but his hands held her pulse down. "So you found me, right? Is your patriotic friend around here too? Is he going to be sad if I cut his princess' neck? Or do anything I want with you?" Natasha felt the cold of the knife over her neck and the weight of Eric's body over hers. Everything hurt, every breath she took to any move of a muscle. Getting all the strength she had left, Natasha elevated her knees quickly, hitting his down area hard while he fell on her side grunting. Enjoying the opportunity, she tried to move slowly through the ground, carrying her own body towards the door so she could find a way to leave that explosive way. Once she stretched herself from the floor to get the door handle, she felt his grip around her ankles, bringing bad memories to her head and she screamed as loud as she could, trying to kick him in any way. Natasha couldn't focus anymore, he vision was blurry and she tried to reason but nothing was working after he got a grip of her left ankle. All she could concentrate was to scream like when she was just a kid and no one could hear her. One of her kicks hit right on his chin and he blacked out, falling unconscious on her feet. Resting her back on the wall, Natasha breathed hard, her chest burning and eyes red.  
"Natasha! Natasha!" She heard a distant voice and just after Wanda shook her shoulders she went back to her senses. Wanda's face focused on her sight and her face was covered with dust, so as Natasha.  
"Wanda." She whispered.  
"What happened?" She placed a hand on her left cheek and suddenly Wanda eyes went a little wide. "It's okay, Tasha. It's okay. We're going to get you out of here." Getting up and bringing Natasha with her, she moved to the stairs. "Sam, he's in there!"  
Sam moved to get Eric and they all made to the deck before another explosion hit the office.  
At the sight of the red head leaning against Wanda, Steve ran towards her, placing her arm over his shoulders and holding her by the waist. He kissed the side of her head while they moved to the jet, glad she was too dizzy to notice it. Sam scooted Eric to the backup jet, where Hill and Sharon got him and then moved to the jet with Wanda, Steve and Natasha. Once they all were in and the doors closed, a huge explosion echoed again, the flames hitting the widows as they parted with Rhodes as their new pilot. Natasha stood on her own, and everyone dispersed around the jet, letting out their breaths.  
"Everyone okay?" Rhodey asked, taking a good look at the team before focusing on the panel again.  
"I guess so." Wanda assented, watching Natasha carefully.  
"That was-" Sam half smiled, hands on his waist.  
"What the fuck was that, Natasha?" Steve's voice cut the mood, everyone's faces turning to him.  
"You mean I almost getting killed?"  
"Yeah, I mean that!"  
"I don't know! I was getting the data and-"  
"You what?!" He fully turned to her, that judgemental face all over him that Natasha completely hated.  
"Getting the data! You asked me!" She matched his tone while the others kept just staring in a really weird way.  
"Oh my God, I fucking told you exactly the opposite!"  
"You texted me!"  
"I didn't text you!"  
"Yes you did!!!"  
"No, Natasha, I didn't!!!"  
"Fuck! You'll see it..." She rushed to pick her pager at her pocket, searching for Steve's last message. And it was gone. "But..."  
"You jeopardized the whole operation! We fucking lost our witnesses, the data, everything! You could've get us all killed!" He shouted, opening his arms while his veins popped up everywhere.  
"Look, I swear it was here..."  
"No you don't, Natasha! 'Cause you can't follow your orders without getting your nose where you wasn't called! Is Fury using you again over my orders!?"  
"Now that's unfair!" She shouted too, the burning in her throat coming back again and she hold it back, closing her hands as hard as she could. "Look, I didn't..."  
"Steve..." Sam tried.  
"No! Decide where your fucking loyalty is with! 'Cause I can't deal with your two face everytime we go on a mission."  
Natasha's mouth opened a little, trying to say something at that awful thing he just said to her face. She stopped pressing her hands and felt her eyes not so dry anymore. Where her fucking loyalty was with?! Was he seriously asking her that? After everything they've been through?  
Wanda's eyes widened a little at it too. Sam covered his face with one hand. Natasha breathed hard, shooking her head lightly and turning her back to the team watching the clouds dissolve around the jet. This was going to be a long ride.  
Steve turned his back too, closing his eyes and fists while the rest of the team stared at each other awkwardly trying to understand what just happened there.  
After a few minutes on he air, they figured out how to do their thing without getting at each other while Wanda still looked lost like a little girl. She didn't try to approach Steve, but made sure Natasha was really okay, after all it was a pretty bad hit she got down there alone. The red head was still trying to figure it out how the hell did that message vanished away from her pager. She wasn't crazy, she saw it. Someone sent her that order in Steve's name. Sam passed through her and gently took a look at her small cut on her forehead, placing some gauze on it. Natasha thanked with a small smile and he moved back to Rhodes' side.

Finally arriving at the facility, they all followed Cap out the jet, his steps heavy and breath still hard.  
"Look, can we talk-" Natasha passes through Rhodes and Wanda so she could stand almost beside his as he still made his way to the main room.  
"I thought you were dead, Natasha." He turned to her, not really minding the small public behind them.  
"I can handle it, Steve."  
"No you can't! God, you are so irresponsible!" He managed to walk again, Rhode, Sam and Wanda still following them unsure.  
"Irresponsible?!" She kept his rhythm, staring at his centered face that kept facing anything but her.  
They entered the main room, Vision waiting them in his casual clothes, and Wanda hugged him shyly. Before he could say anything, Natasha and Steve continued their discussion to the kitchen where everyone still could watch it. Wanda rolled her eyes and launched herself on the bug couch, Rhodes following her and Sam leaning against the kitchen balcony.  
"I'm sorry, but I was following your orders!"  
"My orders? I would never sent you there alone to get those things! I'm not Fury, Natasha, the man that consistently sends you in suicidal missions that you prefer that your actual team."  
"I don't do that anymore and you know it!" And there were the tears again, Natasha holding them back as hard as she could.  
"Honestly, I don't know anymore. _I don't even know who you are_ -"  
"Steve!" Wanda said, disapproval all over her face.  
His voice lowered now and the silence hovered over the room, Natasha almost hearing the strength her throat was doing to hold back the tears.  
"Sam, you're my second in command for the next mission." He turned his back to them, his voice now more calm and steady.  
They all looked at each other. Natasha was his second in command since they started training the team. The red head just stood there, staring at his broad shoulders covered by his shield, not really wanting to move a muscle. Sam opened his mouth to protest, but she looked at him to say it was okay.  
The silence were still there. This was too awkward so say anything.  
"Are we dismissed, Captain?" Natasha asked, her feet ready to leave at any second.  
"Yes." She heard him say, his hands supporting his body on the table. "You're dismissed."  
"Good." She assented strongly, getting the drive and the photo she took from the safe out of her pocket and placing over the balcony. "Guess you'll want that."  
And Natasha left with her head up, without looking at anyone on her way out.  
"You all heard her." Steve said a little louder, making Wanda leave immediately in strong steps and Rhodes and Vision follow her.  
Sam stood there, still trying to figure things out.  
"Don't you think you were a little too hard on her?" He tried.  
"She had it coming." Steve said it sharply, getting himself a glass of water to calm his nerves down.  
"And that's what you're going to do if one of us screw up? Yell at our face?"  
Steve looked at him. "No, it's not-"  
"That's just what you did, man."  
"I thought I had lost her." He set his glass down and his shoulders relaxed.  
"Is this just because she jeopardized the mission or there is something more?"  
"No..." He shook his head, breathing hard to find some air. "Just do your job, okay? I gave you this because I know you're capable of it."  
Sam stared at him for a few seconds. "Okay, Cap. I'll leave you for now."  
"I'll talk to you later to fill you in."  
Sam gestured with his hand before vanishing from Steve's sight.  
The soldier looked at the big window just noticing now that a heavy rain was falling, the sky now grayer than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!  
> My college recess is over but I still have some time to write and update you guys!!!  
> Don't forget to leave your thoughts, it's really important to me =)  
> Ps: I'm sorry again lmao


	23. Gone

Natasha went straight to the showers, taking off her catsuit with equal speed and violence, feeling her throat burn more than ever. Once she was under the water, she let go. Tears mixed up with the warm water and her body relaxed its tension. Natasha shook her head at the feeling of the water hitting her small cut on the forehead.

She had a incredibly _short_ list of people she knew it wouldn't hurt her intentionally, and Steve was probably on top of it. Maybe she was wrong after all. He practically screamed at her face that he didn't trust her anymore. And if Steve really knew her, he knew nothing would hurt her more than that. It was like talking about Pietro in front of Wanda.

She shook her head again and fought the tears, staying under that water for definitely more than necessary.

"It's okay." She said to herself, almost inaudible. " _Stop_."

Finishing her shower and recomposing herself, Natasha wrapped herself in a warm towel and sit in one of the benches of the locker room, her red hair still dripping a little.

"Natasha?" She heard Wanda's voice from the hall.

"I'm here, Wanda."

Her small figure appeared from the door, a little awkward smile on her face. She didn't dare to move.

"You're ok?"

"I'm good." Natasha assented, getting up from the bench and moving to one of the lockers, searching for her clothes in her bag. Wanda remained staring at her with some kind of pity. Maybe she was feeling her aura or shit.

"He's probably just stressed. He will come around." She said timidly.

"Oh, I'm sure he will." Nat shook her head, finally finding her clothes and moving to the other hall of lockers to change. Wanda moved to the benches, facing the gray lockers and only able to hear Natasha's voice behind it.

"You guys will be okay, right?" She asked. "I mean... we're a team." She still didn't get a reaction from the other side. "I know you probably don't want to talk about what's happening, since I've asked you through the whole week but..."

"Wanda. It's okay." Natasha appeared again, wearing jeans and a long sleeve back shirt.

Wanda assented, her head down. "Okay."

Natasha sit next to her so she could put on her brown high boots. Once she finished it, she looked at the quiet brunette. "Thanks for come talking to me, Wanda. But I'll be fine, I promise."

She assented, this time facing the red head. Natasha got up with her bag on her shoulder and moved to the door, taking a last look on her friend. "You don't need to worry. I'll always have your back."

Wanda smiled at her.

"Bye, kid." Natasha smiled sadly back at her and vanished away, making Wanda frown a little.

The spy moved to Fury's office in fast steps, without bothering to greet a few colleagues that passed her on the way.

 

 

 

In the next morning, Steve woke up a little earlier than he usually did, made his morning run alone again and moved to the facility. He didn't see Natasha at her usual spot on one of the high benches in the kitchen, reading a book or simply staring at the big window with a cup of coffee wrapped in her tiny hands. In fact he didn't see her at all during the whole morning he spent making rounds on the place. Maybe later in the afternoon at the Avengers conference room he would get the opportunity to see her and apologize.

But the meeting started and Steve spotted all his teammates except for her.

Before he could sit, he took a good look around his team. "Where's Romanoff?"

Wanda raised her head a little, still playing with her phone. "Solo mission."

"What?"

"That's what Fury said." Sam complemented her, shrugging.

Steve let go a lot of air before speaking. "I'll be back in a minute." And moved to the door in strong steps until he arrived at Nick Fury's office.

"Sure, come in." The director spoke in a very sarcastic way.

"Did you send my second in command on a solo mission in the middle of this huge thing we have in our hands about the new Hydra's hideout?" Steve said with a straight face, standing still in front of Fury's desk.

He cleared his throat calmly. "We both know you can perfectly handle it and... I'm quite informed she's not your second in command anymore." Steve almost spotted a rising eyebrow there, but it was smooth.

Steve squeezed his eyes a little, matching a ironic mouth-closed smile. "That still doesn't give you the right-"

"It's not a right, Rogers, you made it clear she was out of the position, I needed someone capable and we both know agent Romanoff is a lot more than that."

"You're unbelievable. Where is she?"

" _That's classified_."

"When she comes back?"

"That's classified as well." He replied but that didn't stop Steve of standing there. "Relax, she will be back soon." He turned his attention back to his paperwork over his desk.

"Do you have a extraction plan?"

"That doesn't concern to you, Rogers." He still didn't take his eyes out his things.

"You sent my agent in the middle of a important mission, so yeah, I need to know if things get rough you won't leave her on her own." His voice was louder now, and that made Fury raise his head back to him.

"I won't."

"Right." Steve moved back to the door the same way he entered, making sure to have a not so quiet exit.

 

 

After finishing the meeting about the next moves on the new information they got at the interrogation on Eric, Steve spent the rest of the day on the sparring room with his punching bag. Sam tried to make a conversation during the afternoon, but it didn't really work out so he left the captain alone and went to dinner with Wanda.

The red head stayed on his mind more than she usually did during that day, and he kept wondering why would she take a solo mission after so long away from it. Maybe she was so pissed at him and that was the only way not to face him everyday for the rest of the week or whatever time this mission would take. Maybe she didn't give a single fuck about him and just took the job because after all, he had taken her out of her position on the team. Maybe he was being too arrogant to think all that.

But Steve hated when Natasha went on solo missions. She had taken this job only three times since they started working together, and he still remembers the first mission she took when he was around. She had a full black eye and he her wrist injured. They weren't so close at that time, but they spent the whole afternoon talking about the horrible things she saw there.

Or the last one, one year ago, where she came back after 2 weeks so beaten up she spent three days at his home because he insisted. How would she come back this time? Fine? Maybe a black eye? _Dead_?

Steve closed his eyes at the thought.

Without getting any chance of sleep, he got up from his bed and took one last look at her window across the street. Her apartment was still dark, all her curtains closed. She was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hellooOOouU  
> please don't forget to leave your thoughts! =)  
> I've finally finished this fic so I have everything written from now up, I'll make regular updates now, so let me know what you're thinking!  
> xx


	24. Old Friend

Natasha crossed the street in fast steps, even though there was no sight of any near car, or people, or actually anything. Hell's Kitchen never seemed so lonely. She passed through a group of drunk teenagers on her way, which made her want to go to Josie's soon enough, but the thought of maybe bumping into Steve and Sharon there made her change her mind.

The red head felt her phone ring inside her bag, and quickly managed to reach it just in time to see Steve's name on her screen.

She bit her lower lip a little, wondering if this would be a good idea or not. She opted to put her phone back in her bag and continue her way. This was a rehab. A detox, or whatever they like to call. She wasn't talking to him anytime soon, he made that choice.

Maybe the fact of using a solo mission as an excuse had just pissed him off more, since he made the spy promise to him she wouldn't take that job anymore. Well, Natasha couldn't care less right now.

 

$- One year ago -$

_Her last two weeks were like hell. Besides earning a few new scars to her collection, tons of new nightmares in her sleep. And there she was, waiting in front of his door for him, because the first thing she thought when that knife was on her neck was that she was never going to see him again. That was the first thing she thought. She didn't think about death, or being scared or not. She thought about him back home, sketching, watching a game or fighting the punching bag, because that was probably what he was doing on his free time. She thought about him getting the bad news, having to go to her funeral even though he hates funerals._

_After a few seconds, the sound of the opening door made her thoughts slip away. And there he was, hair a little messy for already being on bed (it was 11 pm after all), a clean white t-shirt and blue sweatpants._

_"Nat..." was the only thing he said before wrapping her tightly in his arms. Natasha united her hands behind his back as well, even though her ribs were killing her._

_"Outch- Broken rib, broken rib." She warned him._

_"I'm sorry, sorry." Steve gently pulled back to look at her. Her lips were a bit swollen, she had a small cut on her forehead and she was wearing a dark and melancholic black eye. "Oh, Natasha-"_

_"Shhh- I'm okay, Rogers."_

_He kept staring at her with those worried eyes. Steve took her bag from her shoulder and picked it up to put on his own, opening the door wider for her._

_Natasha let go a small smile and followed him, watching Steve put her bag on the floor next to his kitchen balcony and move to the fridge. He took out a bottle of wine and reached out for two glasses. Natasha, still staring at him from the place he left her, smiled. Steve looked back at her and smiled too, moving to her and helping her sit on the couch, and handling her the glass of wine. Natasha swallowed the drink gladly, leaning her head os Steve's really nice cushions._

_"You were gone for two weeks." He sit next to her, watching her carefully._

_"Yeah-" Natasha arranged herself on the couch with difficulty. "It took a little more than I thought. How have you been, Rogers?"_

_"You look terrible."_

_"Thanks." She smiled, handing him the empty glass. Steve got up and moved to get her another fill. "Just wanted to check on you."_

_"How lovely." He returned with her glass full again. "But you're not leaving."_

_"You'll kidnap me or something?" She smiled behind the thin glass._

_"You're a mess, Nat. Just stay here."_

 

_After chatting for the next hour without mentioning anything from the mission, Natasha tried to get up with difficulty._

_"Let me-" He got hold of her by the waist, her right arm over his shoulder._

_"I'm really okay, Steve."_

_"Just stay here. At least for tonight." They stopped by the door and she looked at him. "Please?"_

_She thought for a while before assenting. "Alright."_

_"Good." He let out a small smile. They both moved back to the kitchen. "I'll set things for you. Will you want to take a shower?"_

_"God, please." Natasha breathed out before watching Steve vanish through the hallway and come back handing her a fresh towel and one of his largest shirts._

_"There you go. I'll help you carry these to the bathroom, come on." He put her bag on one shoulder and moved to the hallway again._

_"Steve." She called him._

_"What?"_

_"Thank you."_

_"That's okay." He smiled before vanishing again, and this time Natasha followed him._

 

_He left her alone and the red head took a good and hot shower, something she hadn't done in a while. Those cold bathtubs from the hideout she was undercover in still brought shivers down her spine once in a while. After a few minutes, she stepped out of the shower and put on some panties and the shirt Steve gave to her, that seemed to fit at list three of her in it. And it did have his particular scent on it, so she liked a little more. Wrapping her hair in a ponytail, she left the bathroom after brushing her teeth and cleaning all the makeup she had left. Steve was waiting for her at the end of the hallway._

_"Had a nice shower?"_

_"The best." She smiled and followed him to his bedroom. He quickly adjusted the bed for her and turned off one of the two lamps he had on the dressers._

_"Here." He moved the sheets so she could lay on the bed and helped her with the pillows._

_It was nice sleeping on a real bed after two weeks. She almost felt she would sink to the floor. "It's weird."_

_"I know." Steve chuckled, covering her with the sheets and turning off the lamp beside her. "Good night, Nattie."_

_"Wait." She held his hand in the dark before he could leave. "You can stay."_

_"You're sure? I'm okay on the couch." His silhouette was still holding her hand._

_"Don't be stupid. Come on."_

_"Okay." Steve chuckled and moved to the other side of the bed, laying beside her, making sure there was a lot of space between them._

_Natasha turned with difficulty so she could face him in the dark._

_"How bad does it hurt?"_

_"A lot. Like I was hit by a truck." She smiled._

_"Why do you keep doing this?" Natasha couldn't see his face, but she felt the concern in his voice._

_"He needed me on this mission, Steve. Besides, I owe him-"_

_"You don't owe Fury shit anymore." He interrupted her._

_"I do. Barton brought a russian spy home and Fury took me in."_

_"I think you've proved your loyalty enough."_

_"I don't pretend on going on another solo for a while, relax." Natasha searched for his hand in the dark, finding it just in front of her face._

_They stayed like that for a while, just listening to each other breathing and holding hands._

_"Nat?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Can you promise me something?"_

_"Sure." Her voice was so low Steve almost couldn't hear her._

_"Don't go on solo anymore."_

_Natasha stared at him for several seconds, even though all she could see was his silhouette. "Okay."_

 

 

 

Natasha smiled sadly at the memory. She knocked on the door softly. She was sure he would hear it.

The door was open, and he appeared using his usual red shades.

"Hi, Matt."

"Natasha?"

Matt Murdock definitely didn't change a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave your thoughts so I know what you're thinking about the fic! =)  
> xx


	25. Catching Up

" _What are you doing here?_ " He opened the door a little wider.

"Just... Passing around the neighborhood." She shrugged.

"We haven't spoken in five years, Natasha."

"Are you going to invite me in or what?"

"Sure." Matt backed away so she could pass.

Natasha entered his large apartment, smiling when she realized only a few things has changed since the last time she was there. He had some new furnitures, a new fridge. His couch was the same though, brown leathered.

Matt moved slowly from the door to the kitchen, standing behind his red balcony.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Surprise me." Natasha sit comfortably on the couch, leaving her bag on the floor next to it. She saw his lips curve up slightly in a small smile. A few seconds later, a glass of white wine was handed to her.

"Not bad, Murdock."

" _Sensitive memory._ " She saw that smile again.

"Yeah, remember that." Natasha smiled and took a good sip of her drink, almost emptying it. Matt raised an eyebrow.

"So. You're an avenger now." She felt the irony in his voice and gave him a loud laugh. "Last time I checked you didn't work well with others."

"Yeah." She assented, putting her knees close to her chest, one hand on her own foot and the other still holding her glass. "Guess that changed too."

"And that's a good thing."

"Is it?"

"Yeah."

Matt felt the warmth of her smile fill the room and gave her one back.

"I've heard about _the devil of Hell's Kitchen_. You're sure about this?"

"You sound like Foggy, but less dramatic."

"He does have a point."

"He doesn't get it."

"Relax. I do." She placed her glass on the center table. Her heartbeat was a little bit rushed.

"You're okay, _red_?"

Natasha smiled at the old nickname.

"It's not like I can lie to you now, human lie detector." She smirked.

"Ha." He got up from the couch's arm and picked up her now empty glass from the table, moving to the kitchen. "Another one?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Tell me about you, Matt."

Murdock smiled, shaking his head a little. "There's nothing to tell."

"Still going to church every Sunday?"

"No. Confessing a lot, though."

"I suppose." He felt that warmth again.

"Foggy missed you after you left." Matt approached her again, sitting next to her with their knees barely touching.

" _I guess he still thinks I'm Natalie_..."

"That wasn't my secret to tell. But he eventually saw you on the news after that thing in Washington. He thought you looked really badass, though."

Natasha laughed.

“So, how’s with the ladies?”

“Oh, God...”

“Come on! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Five years.”

“Five years.” She assented, turning her head to him.

Silence hovered around them until Matt started talking again. Her heart kept its pace, a little unsteady.

“There was someone, but then I screwed it up. As always.” He smiled at her.

“So, nobody special at the moment?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“So there is someone.” Natasha elbowed him softly. “What’s her name?”

“Karen.”

They talked for another hour before Natasha took a look at her phone and saw the usual missed call and the hour. Almost midnight.

Matt got up. “I’ll take your things to the room.”

Natasha smiled softly. “I can take the couch.”

“I’m more familiarized with it.” Matt blinked before picking up her bag anf moving to the only room of the loft. Natasha took a good look around, her head spinning a little after the long two days she had recently, and watching Steve’s name fade away from her phone’s screen. “Come here, Tasha.”

Natasha got up and moved to the open door of his room, where everything was already set up. “Thank you.”

“You seem tired. We’ll talk in the morning.” He smiled at her before closing the door a little behind him, and Matt was gone. It was just her in his incredibly white room, everything so clean and cold that it made her feel alone again.

She took her boots off and jacket before falling into his nice cushions. Natasha didn’t really sleep until 2 a.m. when her body finally drifted off.

 

 

In the next morning, Steve was still moving around the facillity searching for any signs of where Natasha went. Wanda kept saying she had no idea, so did Sam. They seemed sincere about it, even though Wanda sounded a little bit mad at him for asking. Maybe there was only one person in that building that knew where she was, but surely wasn’t giving him that information so easily.

Fury.

He waited until the night, when he knew for sure Fury would already be away from his office heading to home. The captain dispersed his team and moved to the office, making sure no one was following him.

Steve wasn’t stupid, he knew Fury would outfit that room with all the best ways to protect it from anyone that wanted to put his hands on importante files. He took out Natasha’s descriptive and got his password right and in a second the door was open.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He turned around and there was Sam looking really confused. “Sam!”

“Yeah, surprise, _what the hell are you doing there?!_ ”

Steve remained silent for a while. “Finding out where Natasha went.”

“Steve!” He followed him into the office against his will. “Stop it.”

“He must have something here...” He moved to the computer, searching through his files. “He always likes to keep na eye on his agentes, sometimes I think he has a chip in our brains or something.”

“You’re going crazy about this.”

“Shut up and help me. Look in those drawers.”

After a few minutes searching, he got Natasha’s file.

“Current location: _Hell’s Kitchen_.”

Sam turned to him.

“Guess she didn’t go very far, huh? Now let’s go.”

 

Natasha spent the rest of her day on Matt’s apartment, hearing about his new life, job, fighting crimes and his new girl.

“Everybody has a gift these days.” Matt emptyed his bottle of beer. “There’s a bulletproof guy in Harlem.”

“I know a woman that can lift a car without complain. I don’t think anyone drinks as much whiskey as she does, too.” Natasha settled her empty glass together with him. They’ve been drinking for the past hour while updating each other about their lives, even though Natasha refused a lot to talk about why she was there after so many years.

“I have an idea.”  
“Yeah?”

“Let’t go out.” Matt got up and got the white wine bottle under his arms. He looked really funny and a little drunk.

“Let’s go out!”

“And maybe you can tell me what’s going on in your head, red.” He passed his arms around her shoulder and pulled her together with him so they could make it to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy I'm sorry it took so long to update, college is crazy and I had problems with my internet, but here it is!!  
> I'll make at least two new updates until the end of the week, it's a promise!  
> So pleeeease let me know what you're thinking, it's really important to me <3  
> xx


	26. Bad Liar

Natasha and Matt walked through the streets for a whole hour before deciding where to go next. Finishing his bottle of beer and throwing in a trash can near, he turned to her.

“Let’s go to Josie’s.”

“I don’t know.”

She was ready to go for it, before reminding herself that she might meet some people she didn’t want there. Apparently Matt also felt something and touched her right arm slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” She waved it off and took the lead to Josie’s. It wasn’t Friday anyway. “Let’s go, Mattie.”

“Lead the way.”

After walking a few more blocks so they could hit the bar, Natasha and Matt entered in the crowded bar, something not so normal for a Wednesday night, but she didn’t mind. Josie quickly greeted them when they sit on the high benches at the balcony.

“Matt and… _Tasha_!” She seemed surprised. “Haven’t seen you two together in a while.”

“Five years.” Both said and Natasha smiled at him.

“Does that mean..?” She gestured her hands with a bright smile.

“Nooooo.” Both answered again.

“Oh. Okay.” She let out her hands in a sign of defense. “What are you guys having tonight?”

“Vodka.”

“I’ll stay with the beer, thanks Jo.”

“No problem.” She smiled before leaving them.

“So.”

“You brought me here on our second date.” Natasha watched her surroundings.

“I couldn’t bring you to a bar on the first one.” He elbowed her softly. “What kind of man you would think I was?”

Natasha laughed. “Shut up.” There were a lot of people watching the basketball game on the TV, most of them standing on their feet and blocking the view from the tables in the back near the pool table, where usually she went with Steve and the rest of the gang. Her heart ached a little at the thought, wishing time would go back to a month later so things could be normal again. Wanda sent her a few messages since she disappeared, but Natasha only answered one of those, telling her not to worry about her whereabouts, that she was okay and Wanda shouldn’t think she was in any trouble. Because in fact, she wasn’t in any.

“Okay. Too quiet for a while. What’s on your mind, Red?”

Jo arrived with their drinks and Natasha swallowed it in a sip. “That I should be at work.” She smiled to the empty glass in front of her.

“And why exactly aren’t you?” Matt placed his bottle next to her glass. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have you here, but you don’t actually want me to believe that you’re here because you missed my ass?”

She smiled sadly. “I do miss you, Matt. We were good together, weren’t we?”

“We were amazing when we weren’t screaming at each other.” He laughed.

“See? Not all of my relationships are screwed. And I’m being ironic, by the way.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. Look at me. I’m not an example of successful relationships either. I think we’re doing fine.”

“So, what about Karen? From where do you know her?” She waved at Jo for another fill.

“From work. She works for me and Foggy. It’s a long story, but it’s that thing that you both know that something is going on, but neither of you do anything about it, you know?”

“ _Definitely_.” She smiled at the coincidence. “Then what are you waiting, Matt? Is she nice?”

“Yes!”

“Then for fucks sake go for it, she’s not a undercover spy on a mission, or a psycho Greek ninja-“

“If you’re talking about Elektra-“

“Hell yeah I’m talking about Elektra. This girl is normal, Matt. She’s nice, has a normal job and for some reason likes you too.”

“Thanks.” He exasperated.

“I’m being serious, Murdock. You’re better than me, so don’t let that go.”

“You think everyone is better than you.” He took a quick sip from his beer.

“For a reason.”  Natasha shrugged. Jo brought her another glass and she emptied too.

After a few minutes, the game was over and the crowd started to disperse around the bar, and for the first time Natasha was able to spot the pool table, where a group of young girls were playing. Feeling her head a little dizzy, she noticed the small group next to the pool table. The first that she saw was Wanda, that wasn’t wearing a happy face, watching her glass (that seemed like simple diet coke) and playing with her fingernails. Sam was next to her, a little more active, talking with a woman that Natasha guessed it was Sharon, by her blonde hair. She seemed to listen to it carefully, and sometimes laughed at one of his jokes. And then she stretched her neck a little more, and she could see the side of Steve’s face. He looked a little like Wanda, but playing with his beer while sometimes interacting with Sharon and Sam. For a moment, he turned his face to Natasha’s direction, but she quickly moved her head back and made sure to hide herself behind Matt’s figure.

“Okay, what?” She heard his voice but was still focused on the table at the other side of the bar, watching them between the small space under Matt’s arm.

“We need to go.”

“What? But we’re having fun.”

“I see some… Friends.”

“So?”

“So I’m not supposed to be here. Please.”

“Fine.” He huffed and called Jo again, asking for their check. Before the check arrived, Natasha spotted Wanda rolling her eyes unamused, getting up and moving to the bathroom.

Matt payed under Natasha’s protests and they got up quickly, the spy making sure to hide herself behind Matt again until they moved to the door and finally were out in a second.

At the other side of the bar, Steve noticed a long red hair move out the door. He frowned and was ready to get up and follow her, but Sam called his attention back to the conversation and Wanda returned to the table.

“I think I’m gonna go.” She announced.

“I’ll go with you.”

 

Finally outside the bar, Natasha breathed relieved, Matt behind her, his whole expression in confusion.

“What the hell was that?”

“I told you, my friends were there.” She started walking with her hands in the pockets of her green jacket.

“So? They’re your friends, they don’t have chickenpox.” Matt followed her and stood beside her, keeping her pace. “I think.”

“They don’t.” She rolled her eyes then took the small bottle from her pocket and took a long sip.

“You’re still drinking?!” She fastened her steps looking behind them before turning on a corner, this time a way less illuminated street. Matt held her arm and they walked more slowly. “Okay. Now tell me what’s happening. I think you own me that.”

“Remember when you asked me if I knew about when two people like each other, and they know something is happening, but they do nothing about it?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m kind of having one of those at the moment.” She placed the small bottle back in her pocket.

“Okay. Tell me about him.”

“We’re friends. Were friends. I think. But then, something happened-“

“ _You guys fucked_.”

“Thanks. But yes.” She elbowed him. “But it was fine, we let that go for two years. And there was always something, you know? I kept telling myself that someday that strange thing in my stomach would fade away, but then-“

“You guys fucked again.”

“Yeah. On his birthday party. With a hundred people outside the room.”

Matt assented and then shook his head, a little smile coming out of his mouth.

“And I thought ‘Okay, we’re going to do this the same way we did before, right? Let’s just pretend nothing happened!”.”

“You are so wrong.”

“I was. I told him to pretend that nothing happened.”

“ _Outch_.”

“I’m not proud of that move, believe me. But he did, more like ignored me for this whole time until shit happened, we kind of got into this huge fight. And then I’m here. Running away like a coward.”

“Okay. First, you’re not a coward. Second, where is this guy from?”

“He’s from… Work?”

“Work? But you’re an… Aven…” He stopped their walking. “It’s an Avenger, isn’t it?” He had a playful smile covering his features.

“Maybe.”

“It is an Avenger!”

“Can I proceed?” Natasha rolled her eyes again.

“It isn’t Iron Man, right?”

“God, no!”

“Not Clint either, last time I checked he was married. Or wait-“

“Jesus, Matthew, no.”

“Not the Thor guy.” She shook her head. “Or the green one.” Natasha thought for a while, but shook her head as well. “Wait a minute…”

“Matt…”

“It’s that guy with the shield! The leader!”

“It’s him.”

“Okay, that was something I didn’t expect from you?”

“What do you mean?” She frowned.

“He’s not your type.”

“I dated you, Murdock, I clearly don’t have a type.”

“Funny.”

 

They walked for another hour until they ended up in a pier, watching the view peacefully as a few people passed behind them. Steve brought Natasha there once, after a rough mission.

Her head was a lot more dizzy now, and she was glad Matt had the hold of her left arm or she would probably fall on the ground. He kept her steady while they were standing next to the diners.

“Now you know everything. I pretty much screwed it up again.” She wrapped herself more in her jacket to distract the cold breeze.

 “You didn’t screw us up, red.”

“Maybe if I didn’t lie my name to you, or my whole history.”

“You were in the middle of a mission, you had to keep your cover. And I wasn’t exactly the most sincere boyfriend on Earth, I kept things from you too.”

“Like dressing up in dark clothes and beating criminals on the streets.” She smiled.

“Like that. You didn’t screw us up, Nat. We’re still here, aren’t we?” He squeezed her hand softly and the red head smiled again, watching their fingers laced.

“We are.” She assented, suddenly feeling her eyes get a little wet. Natasha faced him and he had a comforting smile at her. He was there and they were okay. She didn’t lose Matt. She didn’t want to lose Steve too, not in a million years, not with all of those things he said to her, not after breaking his heart too.

“You’re okay?”

“Can I test something?”

“What?”

“Just…” She waved it off and took a boost by their hands tied together and got closer to him, pressing their lips lightly during a few seconds.

And.

 _Nothing_.

She didn’t want her theory to be truth.

Natasha looked down at her own feet and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I accept to be used.” He smiled at her.

“Can we go home?” She didn’t smile back.

He caressed her hair slightly. “We can.”

 

After leaving Wanda at the facility, Steve rode his motorcycle around the city, stopping in a few places to walk around and try to get all that burst of thoughts and feelings out of his head. He really needed a punching bag right now.

And he ended up on a pier. The one he once brought Natasha after a rough mission, just because he wanted to see her smile. They ate at one of the diners and spent the night at his apartment until it was really late and she had to cross the street to her own home. And the next day they spent their whole day together because apparently he could never get tired of her. Not once.

Steve put his hands inside of the pockets of his leather jacket, that one he almost had to steal back from Natasha after the Blindspot Club. Walking around the pier, he found a unoccupied bench near the water, where he could see the lights of the other side of the city. There was a small and cold breeze so he contract slightly, watching people pass through him.

There was a few couples near the diners, all of them trying to keep each other warm, but one of them brought Steve’s attention. He recognized her long red hair. She had it straightened, was wearing a green jacket, jeans and black high boots. She looked perfect. From his view, she almost could see her full smile, except for the guy in front of her blocking his view. Who the hell was him anyway?

And then she kissed him. She pressed their lips gently for a few moments, while they had their hands tied together. Something came at Steve’s throat, a pain he couldn’t quite figure. He just wanted to go there and get that stranger away from his girl, punch his face until he wouldn’t get recognized anymore. His squeezed his own hands, and Natasha broke their kiss, and then looked down. They said something to each other, and then he got his hands on her fucking hair. Steve thought for a moment about the softness of her hair, when he used to take every opportunity to touch it, she would close her eyes at the feeling and smile softly at him.

The couple moved out of his sight, disappearing behind the diners. When Steve snapped out of his trance, he realized he had gotten up from his seat, and his hands where closed tightly on each side of his body.

She was good without him. It took him too _long_ to realize it.

 

Arriving at Matt’s place, she moved to the kitchen, getting herself a glass of wine. Natasha filled another glass for him.

“You’re okay, red?”

“I’m doomed.”

Matt moved to the stereo, turning it on a little loud. “Let’s cheer you up.”

She laughed, shaking her head.

After a hour of intense drinking and crazy dancing around Matt’s living room, Natasha launched herself on his comfortable couch, not really remembering how she ended up in her shirt and panties. Murdock was sitting in one of his kitchen chairs, singing along with the song softly.

They heard a knock on his door.

Natasha frowned, moving with difficulty to turn down the stereo. Matt got up.

“Matt? It’s Karen. You haven’t picked up your phone. We’re worried.”

Natasha’s eyes widened at him. “That Karen?!” She mouthed at him.

Matt assented, getting his usual red glasses and putting it on, having a little difficulty to walk around the loft thanks to the wine. “Hide.” He mouthed back, gesturing at her.

She agreed, getting up fast and moving to his room, waiting by the door. Natasha heard him opening up the door, but the alcohol had disabled her capacity of overhearing things. She just heard the high heels getting close and moved fast to the bathroom, which had a door leading back to the living room. Hearing them arguing about something and making sure they were already in his room, Natasha rushed to hide behind the kitchen balcony.

But it was too late.

“I can see you!”

Natasha rolled her eyes, getting up and spotting Matt and Karen and the door of his bedroom. A tall blonde woman was staring at her with really angry eyes.

 “Look, it’s not what it looks like-“

“Matt. There’s a half-naked woman in your apartment.”

“It’s really not-“ Natasha started.

“You shut up.”

Natasha moved her arms up in sign of defense, a glass of still in hands.

Karen moved to the door and made her way out, making sure to hit it really hard.

“Sorry!” Natasha shouted before the door was shut. “I'm sorry, Matt.”

Matt waved it off, this time launching himself on his couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo here's a big chapter =)  
> Just to fill in, Nat met Matt while she was undercover in a mission, more specific when she was Natalie Rushman and was pretending to be working for Stark (yep, iron man 2). She lied her name and history to him for some time before she told him the truth and they had a big fight and she discovered he used to lie to her too (about being daredevil) sooo they got even. lol I think that's all  
> Please tell me what are your thoughts on the fic, it gets me really happy and inspired to write <3  
> xx


	27. Begin Again

Natasha shook her head, launching herself beside Matt.

Not just screwing her own life and relationships, she was now screwing Matt’s too.

“I’m sorry. That was stupid. I shouldn’t have…”

“Tasha. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. You like this girl. God, Matt, I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t. Shh, relax-“ He dragged her hands out of her own face and laced their fingers together. “I’ll explain everything after, it’ll be fine.”

Everything was so dizzy. Maybe this time she definitely had drunk enough for the day.

“You should get some sleep. Okay, red?” He tried to keep her awake.

“Okay.” It came out a little weak.

“Here, I’ll help you.” He got up and put her arms over his shoulders, leading the red head to her bed.

 

The next day, Steve Rogers woke up a little earlier than usual, as if he already didn’t wake up early enough. But the truth is that he hadn’t had much of sleep that night, so he thought it was okay. Steve was always a very solo person, he usually never depended on anyone to make his usual activities, like running, but hell, he missed Natasha’s voice while she wasn’t around. He missed her red hair high in a ponytail bouncing in front of him or even her not-very-subtle-pink-sneakers.

He was glad she was okay. Really. Even if that meant that she was with someone else, he was glad she looked safe. Maybe it took him a couple days to realize that.

The soldier arrived at the facility, and even though he thought he wouldn’t see anyone around so soon, Wanda was wrapped up in a thin blank on the couch, reading her book so focused it made Steve want to feel that peaceful. She greeted him with a brief “good morning” and went back to her story, not bothering to extend their conversation. Maybe she was still mad at him that Natasha was gone. Steve couldn’t blame her, he was mad at himself too.

Noticing he wouldn’t get any longer words from the brunette, Steve moved to the training room, meeting his current best friend in the world: the punching bag. Hours passed, he couldn’t exactly tell how much of it, but his mind focused again when Rhodes entered the room, greeting the captain with a brief smile.

Sam entered later, doing his usual stretching on the mat with Wanda. Everyone seemed really focused on their activities, so Steve didn’t bother to say anything while leaving, moving to the showers to get a relaxing (at least he really wanted it to be) bath.

 

Matt was preparing his breakfast when he heard she step out of his room and the slight sound of her hands squeezing the handle of her bag between her fingers.

“ _You’re leaving_.”

“I am.” She smiled sadly before setting her bag on the floor beside the couch. Natasha moved to the kitchen and got the coffee in his hands. She hummed at the taste. “You still make good coffee.”

Matt smiled, getting another one for him. “When will I hear from you again?”

“Here.” She got his phone over the balcony and included her number in it. “We can call each other now.”

“That’s a progress.”

She smiled brightly, taking another sip of her coffee.

A knock on his door made Natasha move to answer it.

“What are you-“

“I know who it is.” She said over her shoulders with a grin.

The red head opened the door widely. Karen faced her, a shy smile filling her features. Foggy Nelson was beside her, a funny smile on his face.

“I don’t know why, but when she said it was a red head I instantly thought about you.” He said.

“Hi, Foggy.” Natasha grinned. “Thanks for coming, Karen. Again, I’m really sor-“

“It’s okay. Let’s just- Forget about it.”

Foggy looked between the two women and made his way into the apartment making them cease that awkward moment and follow him.

“Haven’t heard from you for a long time, _Natalie_.”

“About that-“

“It’s Natasha.” Matt interrupted them. “Long story. Hi.” He smiled at Karen.

“Wait, what?” Foggy looked seriously confused, his now short hair pulled back.

“I have to go.” Natasha smiled, moving to get her bag. “Foggy.” She kissed his cheek with a loud smack and squeezed Karen’s left shoulder gently.

Matt followed her till the door and Karen and Foggy gave them some privacy. “ _You called her_.”

“Your phone is unlocked. You should take care of that.” She stopped on her way out, smiling at him. “Call me if you need anything, Matt.”

“You too.”

“And thank you.” She said and he smiled back at her. “I won’t hug you, I don’t think she trusts fully in me yet.” She winked.

“Shut up.” He involved her between his arms, making sure to memorize that autumn fragrance coming out of her hair. “Don’t _vanish_.”

“You too.” Natasha said with her chin comfortably laid on his shoulder.

She let go of him and gave him a last smiled before turning around and go out the door.

It was hard going past that door again.

 

 

The following day, Steve kept his routine, made his run, spent some time with his punching bag, lunched with his teammates, nothing too far from the obvious. The track on Eric William’s contacts went cold, so the tactical team was having some hard time on finding them. Maybe if Natasha was around, she would know what to do. He used to think better when she was around.

Getting out of his office to try to clear his minds from all the papers the tactical team handed him this afternoon, Steve moved to the kitchen to prepare himself some coffee, spotting Wanda and Vision playing chess on the living room and a bored Sam Wilson watching their match.

Rhodes entered in quickly steps in the room, handing Steve a tablet with the mission log. “We have something on Eric’s contacts.”

All eyes focused on him. Sam got up and moved to stay beside the captain.

“We have location.”

“When will we go?” Sam looked finally hooked on something.

“Prepare to leave in one hour.” He handed Rhodes the tablet back. “We have two places to go, I want Rhodes and Vision on the warehouse, it’s 64 miles from the hideout. Maybe that’s where most of their armory are, Hydra never keeps their arsenal so close.”

“Will you need me?” Wanda got up after Vision.

“Yes, especially now that we’re understaffed.”

“Oh, about that.” Their heads turned to Rhodes. “I think I saw Natasha’s car parked outside.”

Wanda smiled and disappeared through the door.

The girl walked quickly through a few SHIELD agents before arriving in front of Fury’s office, in time to see Natasha close the door behind her.

“Well hello.”

“You’re back!” She hugged her a little tighter than she planned.

“Outch, kid, you’ll get my ribs broken.” Natasha smiled, giving Wanda small pats on the back.

“You came to help on the mission?”

“I didn’t even know we had a mission until like five minutes ago.” Wanda let go of her and Natasha touched the tips of her brown hair. “You cut your hair. Sorry I was so evasive on the messages.”

“It’s okay. I guess you needed the time.”

“Definitely.” She walked with Wanda beside her. “How are things around?”

“Boring. Nothing since you left, just a small mafia bullshit last week. Sharon _nicely_ offered herself to cover your spot in there, of course.” Wanda said rolling her eyes, making the red head laugh.

“Last time I checked you were very fond of her presence.” Natasha watched her with half closed eyes.

“Oh, _about that_ -“

“Hello, Tasha.” Sam appeared in front of them.

“Sam.” She smiled.

“We don’t have time for chit-chat, ladies, we have some asses to kick.” He turned, excitement running through his veins.

“He was really bored.” Wanda warned, fastening her steps so they could hit the locker room to suit up. Arriving there, Steve showed up before they could enter. Wanda and Sam exchanged meaningful looks and moved each one to their cabins. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Hey.” He said and she turned around to face him.

“Hi.” It seemed like he hadn’t seen her in years. But she was exactly the same, long red hair and a nice brown leathered jacked covering her torso.

“You’re back.”

Well, that was obvious.

“I am.”

“Look, about-“

“Steve…” She interrupted him, eyes closing for a few seconds. “It’s okay. Let’s just-“

“Okay.”

“If I am in your plans for this mission…”

“You are. The team is not the same without you.”

“Well… Thanks. I guess.” She smiled softly to her own boots. We should get ready, we’ll leave soon.”

“You’re right.” He said and Natasha turned to enter the locker room, but his voice stopped her again. “Wait- We’re good?” His hand was hanging awkwardly in front of her, waiting for her embrace.

“We are.” She squeezed his hand after a few seconds. They shook it awkwardly before letting go of each other without really looking at each other.

“We really should-“

“Yeah.” They both moved inside quickly.

 

A few minutes later, the team was reuniting in two quinjets to leave. Steve boarded in one with Natasha, Sam, Wanda and 3 more agents, while Rhodes were on the other one with Vision and the tactical team.

“We’re ready to leave.” Steve talked to the pilot and looked back at the half of his team, all of them assenting. “Rhodes, I sent you the coordinates to the warehouse. You and Tactical are free to go.”

“Got it, Cap.”

Both quinjets left with equal speed, moving to somewhere near Oslo, Norway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry I made you guys feel like Steve waiting for Nat to come back lmao  
> Like I replied on the comments lately, I had a hard time  
> But now everything is good  
> I hope you guys are ready for the chapter on thursday, it was one of my favorites to write
> 
> Pls don't forget to leave your opinions, they are so so important to me  
> I promise it won't take that long anymore  
> see you soon!  
> xx


	28. Sin

 

Tre trip was quick and before Steve could finish repassing the initial plan with Natasha and Wanda, the quinjet slowed down its pace.

He didn’t dare to question the red head about her little vacation on the last couple weeks, and she didn’t bother to tell him either. Maybe Steve thought it was better this way. He honestly wasn’t interested in mr. mystery man kissing her in the middle of the pier.

They exchanged a few words during the flight but most of it was about the mission and only the mission. Steve was never good on talking to women, not seventy years ago, not after the ice either, he simply wasn’t that good. Natasha was the first one he actually had a conversation with outside things related to work. Of course, he had Peggy, but they didn’t have the time back then. But now, with him and Natasha in opposite sides of the jet, Steve felt like the first time he met her, where they didn’t talk at all, and all she was focused was saving Clint from Loki’s control.

A strange feeling came up his stomach, that maybe they wouldn’t have what they had ever again. They wouldn’t meet early in the morning to run and make fun of Sam, or manage to have a really interesting conversation while sparring, or watch completely trashy movies that Natasha herself suggested on a Saturday night on his couch. They were strangers again, like back when they first met.

“Sam, scan the place.”

Sam clicked softly on the left side of his technologic glass and Redwing flew out the jet to make its job, passing the information back to the rest of the team.

“It captured 28 agents.” He said after Redwing showed him the logs.

Steve, Wanda, Sam and Natasha exchanged looks.

“I think we’re good.” Natasha winked.

Wanda managed to make them land discreetly near the hideout, a huge shed near a pier. They quietly moved out the jet, and Steve gave the orders to other agents to stay put until he called for them. It was almost getting dark and they needed a stealthy approach if they wanted this mission to end the best way possible.

“Rhodes, did you arrive at the warehouse?” Steve spoke over the communicator.

“ _Yes. They have heavy security here, Cap._ ” Rhodes voice came a little cracky over their ears because of some interference on their signal.

“Any news report to me.”

“ _Sure thing, Cap._ ”

The four walked quietly till the nearest door behind the shed.

“What do you think is in there?” Wanda asked, the small and cold breeze making her hug her own arms in protection. “Jesus, it’s freezing.”

“Weapons of mass destruction, have no idea.” Steve was watching their surroundings.

“Look for a red head woman. She appeared on the security cameras a lot of times when me and Steve where investigating the case.”

Sam and Wanda assented.

“Cap?” Sam called.

Steve stopped making his mental tactics and turned to them. “Okay, we have one entry on the west side and another on the east. Sam, you follow Wanda through the west area, find any sign of the weapons and tell me. We’ll meet at this door back here.”

“Okay.” Wanda and Sam assented

“You and me go through the east.” He looked at Natasha, that also assented, making sure she had all her gears with her.

“Let’s go.” The red head said and they all moved, Wanda and Sam by the west side and she and Steve on the opposite one.

Steve and Natasha managed to enter with no further problems. The spy quickly found her way though the lock and once they entered, two guards turned fast to them.

Steve threw his shield with one accurate move, hitting the HYDRA agent on their left side, while Natasha graciously jumped over the shoulders of the one on the right, hitting him so hard in the head he instantly fell on the ground. Steve nodded at her and followed the narrow hallway, Natasha following him close, gun already in hands.

“Two down. Twenty-six to go.” She said over her comms.

“ _Actually, twenty-three._ ” Sam said over his.

“Good.” Steve answered.

“No alarms yet.” Natasha said, watching Steve turn his head to her. “Don’t you think it’s weird?”

“Or we’re _really good_.” He managed to let a little smile slip out his mouth.

“Probably.” She smiled back, shaking her head.

Before they could cross the hallway, five HYDRA agents appeared in front of them in distance.

“Shit.” He said before they started shooting. The hallway was thin, so Steve pulled Natasha quickly and positioned her behind his shield. She got one of her gears in one of the pockets and threw at the agents, and a big cloud of smoke grew in the middle of them.

Enjoying the opportunity, Natasha got herself out of Steve’s embrace and moved to kick the nearest agent as the soldier put two others on the ground with two hits of his shield. Natasha stroke the other with her widow bites and Steve quickly moved to the last agent and took out his gun, striking him with the gun barrel right after.

All the agents on the ground, Steve watched her.

“You’re okay?”

“Yeah. You?” She got her hair out of her face.

“I’m alive.”

“Let’s go.” She passed over the bodies and Steve followed her close, shield in one arm. “Nothing yet. They knew we were here. They were looking for us.”

“And no alarms.” Steve completed as they arrived to what looked like the central of the shed, where they could spot hundreds of wooded boxes.

“Are those…?” Natasha took the lead, moving thought the boxes until she found one half opened. Taking the cover out, a shiny silver weapon was hanging alone in the box.

“God, what are those now?” Steve verified the other ones.

“They never cease to impress me.” Natasha picked up the weapon, a little bigger than a AK-47 and a lot more large.

Before Steve could get close to the red head, all the lights went out.

“Nat?”

“ _Steve?_ ”

They heard steps all around the room and Steve reached Natasha’s hand quickly in the dark. She squeezed it, knowing it was his hand. They stayed in silence as the steps grew louder and closer, turning their back to each other but with their hands still tied together. Natasha pointed her gun to the dark, waiting for any sign.

“Oh, you’re not doing anything with this, sweetie.” They heard a raspy female voice, the German accent slipping though her tongue.

A few lights went on, and Natasha spotted the red head from the pictures right in front of her gun, as a perfect target. She had her hair falling over her shoulders, red as blood, a delicate but evil face, and two matching leather pieces covering her body, all red and black, a small red skull over her chest.

“Drop your weapons. Now.” She said with a grin.

Around them, dozens of HYDRA agents stood up, guns pointing directly to them.

Shit.

Natasha squeezed his hand again. He dropped his shield, she dropped her gun.

The woman in front of Natasha watched it with a smile. “Smart girl.” She turned to one of her agents, pointing to the weapons on the floor, that he quickly managed to pick them up. “Now…” The red head started walking around them, until she could finally see Steve, his hand right hand still holding Natasha’s. “ _Steve Rogers_. How good is to finally meet you.”

Natasha frowned, turning her head slightly to their side.

“You know me?” He said carefully.

“Of course I know you.” Her heavy German accent brought him shivers. “You’re the American hero. The one who freed you country from the war. Some people even say you ended it.” She got closer, watching the star in the middle of Steve’s chest. She placed a finger in the middle of it. “Captain America.”

“Who are you?” Natasha said behind Steve’s back.

The woman nodded to the nearest agent close to Natasha, and he pointed his gun directly to her head. Steve stiffed quickly.

“I suggest you not to move, or I put a bullet in the middle of your girl’s brain over there.”

Natasha squeezed his hand again.

“Who are you?”

An evil smile filled her features, and she took her hand off of him. “You can call me Sin.”

“ _Sin?_ ”

“My name’s Sinthea. But of course, I don’t expect you to ever hear from me. I wasn’t exactly a HYDRA big shot.” Sin wandered side to side, keeping her eyes on him. “But you knew my dad.”

“Your dad?”

Natasha watched carefully her surroundings. There were a lot of them and somehow, they managed to pass Redwing’s radar. Where the hell were Sam and Wanda?

“He probably never told you about me, of course. I wasn’t his best achievement, if you ask me.” She smiled, moving closer to Steve again, getting so close it made him back up a little. “My father wanted a male heir. As you can see, I didn’t filled up the application forms correctly.” She paused at that, giving Steve a quick look before backing away from him again. “After mommy died on my birth, he almost killed me, you know. But someone offered to watch over me. I got lucky, I guess. Then daddy gave me some pretty good gears after I got a little older. Serums, medicines, all those kind of shit.”

Steve stiffed again, his breath loud. Natasha squeezed his hand again.

“He wanted his heir to finish his work if he was never able to destroy you. He thought his little girl could never do that, I suppose. I was a girl.” She turned to him with a smile. “I think daddy would be pretty impressed with me now. If you hadn’t killed him, of course. I don’t blame you, he could be a real pain in the ass.”

Steve frowned, watching her. The little detail on her red leather corset made him swallow hard.

“Red Skull.” He said. Natasha turned her head slightly again.

“ _What-_ “ Before the spy could finish, the HYDRA agent got closer with his gun pointed at her.

“You’re smart, Steve Rogers.” She smiled, turning to him. “ **Take her out of here.** ” Sinthea ordered to her soldiers in German.

“Wait!” Steve felt Natasha’s warm hand leave his.

“I said. _Don’t. Move._ ”

Steve stopped his protests and watched three HYDRA agents hold Natasha by the arm.

“Don’t hurt her.”

“Is she important to you, Steve?” Sin got closer to him again, a mischievous smile filling her features. “Would you be devastated if cut her pretty head off? If I killed her off, just like you did to daddy?”

The door closed and Natasha wasn’t around anymore. Steve closed his eyes.

Once he felt something hard hit him on the stomach and fell on his knees, he opened his eyes. “I asked you a question.”

Vision a little blurry, he looked up. “ Yes.”

“Then I guess we have two things you love here in this lovely night.” She grinned, adjusting her red hair. “ **Take him to the chambers. We’re going to have some fun.** ”

 

***spoken in German**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to post this so late, I just got home from college haha  
> But here it is!!!  
> Hopefully I'll be able to post another chapter tomorrow, if you guys want it  
> so don't forget to leave your comments for me to know! =)  
> xx
> 
> ps: I love Sin I wish she would appear in the mcu :(  
> if you want to see my lovely Sin: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/d/de/Sinthea_Shmidt_%28Earth-616%29_from_Secret_Empire_Vol_1_6_Villain_Variant_Textless_cover_001.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/202?cb=20170625055204


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